Lucy by Skillet, dad, sad

A father’s heartbreaking story…and Planned Parenthood’s response to men like him

Recently, a man I will identify by the initials RDF shared on Facebook a heartbreaking story of loss. His girlfriend was pregnant with twins. She was almost twenty weeks along when she went to Planned Parenthood, considering abortion. I will let him tell the story in his own words:

She went into Planned Parenthood because she was “too young” (24) and wasn’t ready for children. She hadn’t “planned” to be a parent. I know… It’s ironic that a person who hadn’t planned to be a parent would visit “Planned Parenthood” to have her babies murdered inside her and then sucked out in little bits and pieces. That doesn’t sound anything at all like “planning” to me.

There were protesters there with posters and booklets and handouts… Offering insight, wisdom, help… An alternative to murder. She walked past the pictures of cut up babies. She ignored the small group of protesters. She was expressing her “legal rights”. She was expressing her “Womanly Rights”. She was a “modern woman”. Her life was about her. Not about the inconvenience of the “fertilized eggs” that were inside her.

They weren’t babies yet. She was less than 20 weeks pregnant… by a few days. Though the Sonogram showed two little babies. With fingers and hands… And feet and faces… And heartbeats… Two little innocent babies who were being protected by their mother in the safety of her womb. Two little babies who had never experienced hurt or pain, who never knew the evils of this world or the great wonders of this world. Who were completely 100% innocent. Alive… Waiting to be born.

The night before the abortion, we were talking about alternatives. I cried. She cried. She was a loose Christian. She believed in God in a spiritual sense but didn’t believe in the God of the Bible. I put my hand on her hand and then on her stomach and prayed and said, “Dear Lord, Please guide us through this dark and confusing hour. Please point us in the direction that only you know is right… Dear Lord…” And then we felt the strongest kick. And then another… And another. I cried. She cried. “The Lord is speaking to us. He answered our prayers.” She said, “But I’ve already made the appointment.” And I said, “That appointment means nothing, God has spoken to us.” I felt it. She said she felt it too. For the first time in her life… She felt God speaking to her.

Later that night, we were talking about the future and future plans. She said, “I’m not ready to be a mother.” I told her that nobody is. She said, “I’m scared.” I told her that every mother is scared. Although she wasn’t enrolled in college at the time, she wanted to go. I was enrolled in a Bachelor’s Program and was working toward my degree. She said, “But I want to finish college and do something with my life.” I told her that I would help with the baby and somehow we’d both finish college. “It might be harder. We may have to make some sacrifices but we’ll get through it.” She said that she was going to college and I could stay home and watch the baby. I was working for Lockheed Martin at the time and a condition of my employment was that I had to be enrolled in a Bachelor’s Program. So we disagreed on who was going to finish college first.

The fear and the anxiety and the uncertainty… Led to a small disagreement that ended with us going to bed not talking. She faced one way. I faced the other.

That morning I got up and was getting ready to go to work. I thought everything was going to be fine. We made it through the storm. She came downstairs and said, “I’m going through with it.” “What?” She said, “I’ve made up my mind. I’m going through with it.” She asked me to drive her to the clinic.

I tried to reason with her. She wasn’t having it. I refused to take her. She called a cab. I thought to myself, “If I let her get in that cab, she’ll surely go through with it.” So I agreed to take her to Planned Parenthood in hopes of talking her out of it. She wasn’t having any of that. I tried to talk. She was silent. Not a word. I drove. She stared out the window. She was stubborn. She was a “modern woman”, nobody was going to tell her what to do… Not me… Not God… Nobody.

So we got to Planned Parenthood and I pulled into the parking lot and parked as close as I could to the protesters. She was unfazed. I walked with her through the small group of protesters. I took a pamphlet and tried to give it to her. She was determined. I said, “Look those are fingers. That’s a head. They were alive. Our babies are alive.” She was walking briskly… She pretended she didn’t hear me. We got to the security gate of Planned Parenthood and rang the doorbell. A woman came out and unlocked the gate and then locked it behind us. We went into the lobby of the building. I grabbed my girlfriends hand, “Don’t do this.” She tried to pull her hand back and said, “I’m not ready to be a mother.” “Please, don’t do this. Reconsider” The lady who escorted us in told her the clinic was on the second floor. “Please, We can get through this. Don’t kill our babies.” She pulled her hand back, turned away from me and went up toward the clinic.

I was defeated. I left the clinic and got in my car and drove way too fast down the street. I ran a couple of red lights. I was so scared and angry and hurt and lost and all the emotions like a broken damn came flooding through me. I wanted to scream. I was helpless to protect my babies. I was completely unable to do a single thing to protect them. Where were my rights? Where were the rights of those two beautiful babies? What in the hell did rights have to do with murder? Nobody has the right to murder!!! All of these thoughts flooded my emotions like a freight train… with each box car a thought… And it was going 500 miles per hour through my head. And then…. like an explosion… A tragic horrific wreck… A screeching scraping explosion of thought…

Everything went high pitch… And then went silent….

The moment my children were murdered, a ripple, a shockwave went through my body. Though I wasn’t there… I felt it. I knew something terrible had just happened in that moment. She felt it too.

I turned around and drove as fast as I could back to that clinic. I parked my car in the middle of the road in front of the clinic, nearly on top of the protesters. I rang the doorbell by the gate. I rang it again… and again… Finally the same lady came out. She let me in… She said, “You can’t leave your car there, the police will have it towed.” “They can have it, please open the door, let me in.” She opened the door. I ran to the top of the stairs. Up to the clinic. I ran through the doors. I went up to the little window. I asked where my girlfriend was… “She’s in recovery.” My heart sank, “Can I see her?” “Let me check,” the nurse said. A few agonizingly long minutes later she returned and escorted me to the recovery room.

My girlfriend was crying. She said, “I was wrong. I felt them when they died. They pulled my heart out with our babies.” I cried. She cried. She said, “Oh God, what have I done? I feel horrible, empty… I feel barren… Like a dead flower” I cried. She cried. I stayed with her for a few minutes but needed some air. I went down and moved my illegally parked car. I parked away from the protesters in the parking lot. Then went back up. When they finally let her leave… We cried. We walked past the protesters. She could barely stand. She cried the whole way home. “Why didn’t I listen?” “What was I thinking?” And on and on and on… The emotional pain was unbearable.

RDF goes on to say that his girlfriend fell into a suicidal depression. She was soon going in and out of mental institutions. “It ruined her life,” he said.

When your rights… ruin your life… There is something wrong with the law.

He concludes:

It is a big deal. It is devastating to the mother. The little babies feel it. The mother feels it. The father feels it. It is murder.

Sometimes, pro-lifers unwittingly give strength to the stereotype that men push women into abortions to free themselves of responsibility. Campaigns like the “BroChoice” movement seem to indicate that many men have this attitude. Statistics from Dr. David C. Reardon’s group The Elliot Institute, which works with women who have had abortions, reveals that, in one study, 64% of women who aborted felt pressured by others (1). Sometimes, this pressure came from the father of the child.

But when pro-lifers focus on the men who want their partners to have abortions, they neglect the many man who desperately want their children. These men may beg and plead, may fight for their children’s lives – but in the end, they have no say.

Planned Parenthood, as well as other pro-abortion groups, have always fought very hard to prevent the father of the baby from having any influence, and they have been very successful. Women are not even required to tell the father. In fact, a law that would have required the husbands of married women to be told about their wives’ pending abortions was found unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in Planned Parenthood v. Casey. A father does not have the right even to know about his partner’s abortion, much less stop it.

Louise Taylor, who was the vice president of medical affairs at Planned Parenthood, summed up PP’s attitude towards the fathers of aborted babies:

But it doesn’t matter how much men scream and holler that they are being left out [of the abortion decision] There are some things that they are never going to be able to experience fully. I say, tough luck. (2)

1. VM Rue et. al., “Induced abortion and traumatic stress: A preliminary comparison of American and Russian women, Medical Science Monitor 10(10): SR5-16 (2004).
2. John Leo “Sharing the Pain of Abortion” Time Magazine, Sept 26, 1983 p 78

  • Rebekah

    This is heartbreaking.

  • rvh

    Yes, because it’s all about men. Do men pressure women to have abortions? Do men pressure women to NOT have abortions? What about them anyway? Can’t we all just agree on which way men should pressure women? Sorry about this guy’s situation where it was obviously unfathomable that he not attend college but his girlfriend should stay home to babysit twins because he wanted her to.

    • Mary Lee

      Wow. Epic reading comprehension FAIL.

    • Andrew Orlovsky

      So a mother caring for her newborn children is “babysitting”. I’m so glad my wife doesn’t have that worldview.

    • Basset_Hound

      So she couldn’t have placed the twins for adoption? She couldn’t have taken her classes online while her twins were babies? Do women experience such a severe decline in intellectual prowess upon giving birth or parenting that they can’t attend class, take notes or pass exams? REALLY???

      • Liz Litts

        They are being kept in the dark by the abortion -sales people

      • encourager

        It is worse than being kept in the dark by the abortion people. It is SELFISHNESS that only this world can teach. St. Francis of Assisi taught that LOVE truly love is an unselfish giving of oneself to another.

    • gmg

      I know that this might sound crazy…but lots of colleges and universities have very cheap childcare (they are great places for early childhood education students to get practicum hours). If not there, there are these horrible baby holding places called…daycare. If they did not want to give up their babies for adoption (which was an other option), there was the option of childcare.

    • Andrew R

      “Sorry about this guy’s situation where it was obviously unfathomable that he not attend college but his girlfriend should stay home to babysit twins because he wanted her to.”

      Interesting you’re not applying that logic to the girlfriend.

      “Sorry about her situation where it was obviously unfathomable that she not get to attend college right away but her boyfriend should drop out of school and quit his job and stay home to babysit twins because she wanted him to.”

      Jus’ sayin’.

    • coda alexander mars

      How about the men who are forced into parenthood despite their desire not to be? How about that? Whose “rights” should trump the other? Where is the equality?

      • gma215

        LIFE IS NEVER “EQUAL.” ANYONE WHO TRIES TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE IS LYING.

      • KSwagJab

        Unless a man was raped by a woman, he already made his choice to become a father when he did the deed with her. It is basic biology that sex results in babies. Neither of them have the right to murder their baby for any reason.

      • timherrmann

        The baby’s “rights” trump the parents. The baby’s right to live is the most fundamental right we have. The rest is details and minutia.

    • scragsma

      It was clear that he wanted to work it out. She wasn’t in school yet, but he was, and in fact his job required that he stay in school. It might have been possible for him to get another job, but would she then be able to afford collega

    • borgprotocol

      I must respectfully disagree. Staying at home is not merely babysitting. As a mother, I perform a myriad of duties. It’s hard work, but my children are certainly worth it. I will never regret having my children, but there are many women who definitely regret having their abortions. Additionally, if a woman is not ready for children, she is not ready for sex, because that is a very viable possibility.

  • Alison Christine Smith

    What this man did is called reproductive coercion and even the states with the strictest of abortion restrictions have LAWS AGAINST IT.

    • Andrew Orlovsky

      So its illegal to attempt to peacefully convince the mother of your child to not kill him or her. If these laws really are in place, they should be repealed immediately.

      • Alison Christine Smith
        • Andrew Orlovsky

          According to the article Reproductive coercion is defined as threats or acts of violence against a partner’s reproductive health or reproductive decision-making.
          The man in the article made no threats or acts of violence.

        • Mary Lee

          You keep telling people to educate themselves. I think you need to go back to school. Read some biology, and then take a few logic courses, and then some history (about the first feminists). A good number of people who write on LiveAction, and who comment here, are quite educated indeed.

        • kcard82

          What is sad is the pro-lifers actually know more about the abortion industry and how babies are murdered while pro-“choicers” know little or nothing about it.

        • KarenC

          Alison,as the educated individual you claim to be, I would assume that you would know that “wikepedia” is not a scholarly source.

    • Matt C. Abbott

      Not a surprising comment considering it was made by a Planned Parenthood supporter.

    • coda alexander mars

      So if he didn’t want the children and she had them anyway forcing him to become a father, bleeding him white financially so he couldn’t afford to have a child with another…what would you call that?

      • reality check

        I’d call that taking responsibility for his actions. He already was a father as she had already conceived his twins. Unless you are implying that she raped him and forced him to have sex with her, knowing that she was ovulating and would become pregnant…is that what you mean?

      • scragsma

        She wouldn’t be forcing him to become a father. He already IS a father, just as she is already a mother. Abortion would just make them the parents of a dead child rather than a living one.

  • JB

    Oh my God. I am sitting here crying so hard. So many men and women have gone through this, and we wonder why our society is so messed up….So much addiction, so much alcoholism, so many sociopaths. What must people do in order to remain in denial about what abortion is, and what they have done…and then there are the physical consequences of abortion, the murder and removal of a healthy baby from its mother’s womb…The body knows. The mind knows. The soul knows. May God forgive us. Rachel’s Vineyard, Rachel’s Vineyard, Rachel’s Vineyard.

    • lalalala

      are you saying that addicts, alcoholics and sociopaths have all had abortions and are somehow blocking it out and now that’s what’s causing time to be that way? I hope I’m just reading you wrong and if I am, can you clarify what you mean?

      • lalalala

        *causing them to be that way*

      • scragsma

        Of course not. Don’t twist JB’s words that way. There are many reas

    • Carol Dickinson

      What is Rachel’s Vineyard or what does it have to do with this story? Are you advertising?

      • kcard82

        Google, Carol…google.
        Rachel’s Vineyard is a NON-PROFIT post abortive healing group that helps MEN and women heal from their abortions.

  • JB

    I have seen men sobbing outside PP as their girlfriends allowed their baby to be killed…it breaks my heart in pieces to see it. There really is nothing he can do to stop the process if she wants to continue. I wish there could be an ultrasound bus outside *every* abortion clinic so these women could SEE their babies, and not abort them. When women can see their baby inside their wombs, almost 100% of the time, the baby gets to live.

  • sister mary

    you are fucking crazy

    • JDC

      Possibly the single most insightful comment I have ever read about anything, ever. Well done. 9_9

      • Basset_Hound

        Notice how Calvin had the good sense to delete it.

        • JDC

          Still, I’m glad I got in my response before it was deleted. This person needed to be mocked.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003586781928 Magdalene Prodigal

    I too have seen men beg their girlfriends not to kill their child but they have no rights and the women steel their hearts and enter the deadly doors.

  • Pingback: Planned Parenthood’s Orwellian “Family Planning”: Two Children Dead…Mother and Father In Critical Condition |

  • Pingback: SiftingPoint | A Father’s Heartbreaking Story of Abortion…and Planned Parenthood’s Response to Men Like Him

  • http://twitter.com/brazenqueer Anonymous Queer

    You might wanna read some other posts before you make a random stranger your poster boy…

    His “white pride” cover photo: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151710025758630&set=a.10150600908778630.405168.571363629&type=1

    His long post about “white pride”: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151710854413630&set=a.10150600908778630.405168.571363629&type=1

    Choice excerpt: “We should have a National Association for the Advancement of White People. We should have all White Colleges. We should have White History Month. We should have a United Whites College Fund. We should have White Awareness TV. We should have White Entertainment Television. We should have a magazine called White for White People. We should have scholorships [sic] for White People.”

    Yeah, there’s NO WAY this guy might have some issues with racism. He should fit right in with the rest of the pro-life movement!

    • Andrew R

      Notice he’s saying “White Pride”, not “White Power”.

      Choice excerpt: “Being White does not take away from any other race or group of people. But we White’s often act as if we have no heritage for which to be proud of. We act as if we have no historical significance. We do not celebrate our race because we do not want to offend others. But we should not stop celebrating who we are no more than any other race should stop celebrating who they are. ”

      This isn’t racism — it’s the exact opposite. He’s expressing his feelings about his own ethnicity, not other ethnicities. By your logic, applied to your excerpt, the Black community in general “has some issues with racism”.

    • Andrew R

      An even better excerpt:

      “If it is offensive to have such unwavering support and betterment of the White Man… Then it should not exist for others.

      100% Equality.

      We have no room in this world for Racism.

      But we have plenty of room for Pride.

      Take pride in who you are.

      Respect others for who they are.

      That’s the message.”

    • Shelle

      I think you have it backwards
      Margaret Sanger was a huge eugenist and gave speeches at KKK rallies
      Her initial reason for the pill and PP was to stop “mongrels from breeding”
      The continued purpose of Planned Parenthood is to ensure that blacks and other poor minorities do not breed (and if they by chance they do, the resulting child should be eliminated).
      Why else are they almost exclusively and strategically placed in minority and poor neighborhoods?

      To her credit, however, Sanger was decisively against the murder of children in the womb.

      If this man IS as you claim, a “white supremacist”, it’s irrelevant to the subject at hand.
      Do you suppose that because he has (in our opinion ) ONE flawed belief, he’s incapable of having feeling for the murder of his children?
      Sorry to bust your bubble but there are many of us minorities who are apart of the pro life movement (I include atheists as part of the minorities too)
      I find it sad that he had to bring up god…but not as heart breaking as the innocent slaughter if his twins.

    • coda alexander mars

      If he is racist for wanting those things then so are blacks who enjoy the benefits of the NAACP, black only colleges, Black History Month, the United Negro College Fund, BET, etc..

    • Maria

      Your post is just evading the real issue. The killing of innocent unborn children for the convenience of anyone, mother, father, the society, is simply barbaric. A civilisation that practices elective abortion, euthanasia, mercy killing, etc. is a violent and amoral society. If your ideal society is one in which the value of human life is a subjective consideration, the liberty to “choose” which you seem to hold so dear will be entirely precarious, based on the political and economic power structure that holds sway. You are choosing “might makes right” when you refuse to stand up for and protect the most vulnerable and those who cannot speak for themselves. In eliminating the most basic right to life, you undercut any foundational rights you imagine for yourself. All of the scare tactics and marginal arguments for abortion are based on a small and highly controlling group’s desire to engineer a society with no moral compass in order to debase the strongest of human instincts of protection of children, family and community. If each member of our society is an entirely selfish and autonomous being who lives merely to fulfill personal desires and goals, that individual becomes disjointed, weak and disposable, subject to the will of any who are more powerful. Communities and societies that stand for the rights of the vulnerable are standing for the individual’s rights as well. The group that supports so-called rights to choose death for the unborn and the sick, disabled and old, is ultimately asking to be subjugated and judged unfit by whatever party rules.

      • DenverDiva

        Wow – excellent post !

      • Alex Hunter

        Humans are inherently selfish creatures. Even those of us who act out of altruism do so for the sense that they’ve done something that society has deemed good. If a total stranger decides to end a life that could change her own for the worse, who are we to tell her it would be better when neither of us is rising up to the challenge of helping her take care of it?

        • Maria

          The failings of human nature create a need and basis for law. Who are we to say? We are members of society and we uphold the rights of individuals and protect those rights so that the strong are not rising into a dominance that will preclude any protection of weaker members of society. This is the way society upholds order. First, there is an assumption here that the life that is “ended” does not have an equal value to the life of the woman. Do I understand you correctly? If you do not condone murder for purposes of convenience, you must believe that the life of an unborn child is not somehow equivalent to the life of a person. Without arguing about how the child that has been conceived will be sustained after it is born (which I would answer IS something that we should be concerned with and provide for with assistance of every kind), we must first ask ourselves if it is wrong to kill the unborn. What distinguishes an unborn child from a newborn or a thirty year old person is a spectrum of dependence. The unborn child is receiving its air and nourishment through the placenta, remains in an environment ideal for growth and protection and will necessarily die if removed from that environment before reaching a stage of development that will allow the child to breathe and receive nourishment directly through completely developed lungs and gut (before the 22.3rd week). The newborn is dependent on parents/caretakers to feed, protect and educate. The thirty year old might be able to feed and clothe and protect him/herself and also provide for others. In terms of the identity of that person: conceptus, embryo, foetus, neonate, child, adult- the identity is one and the same throughout the entire process of growth. At no point does the individual radically change and become human, they are and remain always the same human person at different stages. The reason why modern culture has accepted the concept of women aborting unborn children is simply because the value of human life has declined. In aborting children, we create a scale of relative value for human life. We have adopted a psychology of utilitarianism. If the life of an unborn child can be eliminated for any or no reason “without apology”, all human life has been subjected to appraisal. The result is not “compassion”, but a world where the interests of those that are more powerful are served. In acceding to this appraisal of utility, because we as a society are very short-sighted, we accede to creating a scale of relative value for each and every human life. Murder of every sort results: euthanasia, culling, class genocide (elimination of “the poor”). In a social order of this barbaric and power-oriented nature, murder becomes a tool. Abortion is murder, the ugliness of which most people are not forced to contemplate. The victim is small and helpless and, most often, even the mother is not going to visually experience the loss of this life. She will, however, experience and spend the rest if her life remembering her complicity in this crime. A society that promotes and legalises crimes will not stop here.

          • Maria
          • patriciacarrasco

            where is ur blog?!!! ur clarity is whats needed nowadays and ur eloquence! God bless

          • Maria

            Patricia, I am like yourself, a faithfilled woman who has been involved in prolife work at the community level for almost 30 years. I read these stories and my heart is breaking because this is what I have seen over and over again and I answer these comments to bear witness to the sorrow and brokenness that is caused by abortion and the cultural rot this crime spreads. I don’t blog, but I do read blogs and follow the arguments on both sides. I hope that minds and hearts are open to truth.

          • sarah5775

            Maria, you are a true hero. Out there, every day, in the trenches. I believe the pro-life battle will be won because of people like you. The “stars” of the pro-life movement, people like Abby Johnson, get all the attention (and Abby is great, she’s wonderful and dedicated and doing a lot of good) but to me, just as important and vital are the people who work under the radar, doing pro-life work every day and not getting thanked for it often, or attracting alot of attention. It is people like you who are true heroes.

          • Maria

            Abby deserves the attention. She has a special and very powerful message. I do have my local prolife heroes! These great women (and men) have spent every day counselling, providing rent, food, clothing, job training, getting obstetric care lined up, finding means of transport, babysitting for siblings, offering moral support and friendship to young women and their families who need a helping hand. I am not working every day, though that is a goal, and my contribution is small. I have worked in the political and educational side of prolife. I have been a local chairperson arranging donations to shelters, finding connections for assistance, providing specific needed items, praying outside the abortion mills. I really believe that prayer is the key to breaking through the stone walls that have been erected to keep hope out and push prolife to the fringes of society. Perhaps the greatest work that is done is done each day, very quietly, by people who are unable to stand on the front lines, people who pray and remain faithful. All the thanks go to God.

          • sarah5775

            I am glad you are balancing prayer with action. I have known too many people who pray for the unborn but never do anything. For them, prayer is a way to salve their consciences and make them think they are helping the pro-life movement when they are really are not doing a thing. The people who pray and don’t take action are part of the problem. (of course as an atheist I have never seen the benefit of prayer- I can’t recall a prayer that I know to have been answered.)

          • Maria

            Action comes from prayer. Prayer is a school. Prayer changes the one who prays. If I just worked through the channels, faced the struggles and disappointments without prayer, hope would grow faint, wisdom would be swallowed by frustration and joy would die. Prayer lifts the heart. Knowing others support us in prayer is a kind of community. To love and serve others in freedom of spirit, prayer orders the passions and strengthens resolve. Prayer is an active work. May you be blessed in all your good works! Prolife needs the whole community to unite and recognise the most vulnerable of human persons who are suffering and being annihilated each and every day. This is a great wound in the human conscience and needs our concerted efforts.

        • Maria

          If you are interested in a more intricate picture of the type of society being created, this article in a series is much more comprehensive: http://www.aleteia.org/en/op-ed/news/the-wests-new-philosophy-subhumanism-2755001

        • patriciacarrasco

          we should strive to be more and more unselfish or else we would be just like an unthinking animal w/ no spirit or soul…and were becoming more like this everyday now i see it….

    • Dianna

      we are talking about abortion, why do you people always change the subject. its okay to say black power but not white? its okay to be a black racists but not white? Talk about double standards!

  • Pingback: A Father’s Heartbreaking Story | wyandotcountyrightolife

  • dawn

    In high school, I found our quarterback crying in his car in the parking lot. I went to ask him if he was ok. His girlfriend was having an abortion that day. He was heartbroken. I’ll never forget his sorrow and pain. I just sat with him, no idea what to say.

  • Alisha Rushing

    Heartbreaking story to say the least. My prayers are with those that are grieving their “choice” and for those that are not grieving their “choice” my heartfelt prayers are being said for you as well.

  • Deb

    There should be a law if a woman agrees to have sex with a man she is agreeing to give said man a rights to the preborn child. Maybe these woman would think twice about having sexual relations.

    • BlackNRight

      I totally agree but the law must also include any man who gets a woman pregnant cannot force her to abort and is responsible for child support here on out. That way they both would think twice.

    • Victress Jenkins

      I agree with you Deb!! I feel bad for this gentleman having the agony of losing his children in this horrible way.

  • Ed DeMatteo

    gut punch

  • If only…

    The only solace to be had from any of this senseless murdering of innocence is that the first thing these murdered children will see are the kind eyes and smiling face of Jesus. Other than the trauma of their murder, they will never pain and sorrow again…

  • Mary

    This breaks my heart. I want this to be read by everyone!

  • jabm

    So sad and tragic

    but it didn’t have to be…

    not to try and be callous or anything

    howerver..
    Again the fallicy of ‘birth control’ rears its head — if they weren’t married and weren’t ready to be parents then they weren’t ready to be having sex — plain and simple — we as a society have removed cause and effect and tried to insert barriers {chemical, phyiscal, etc], barriers which will fail – so when they fail we run off to have the ‘negative effect’ taken care of

    • Basset_Hound

      Yes, but it’s very “un-PC” to point that out. Whoever advocates that someone might not want to include sex in a relationship if one is not ready to parent a child, shreiks of “you want to punish women for having sex” or “you would fit in with the Taliban” emanate from every rafter.

      • patriciacarrasco

        yes, but unfortunately sex outta wedlock brings so many punishments dont it? like this horrible outcome of this poor man. “the wages of sin is death” but of course nobody wants to make connections w/ fornication and everything it ultimately leads to…so much destruction that i see around me b-cuz of it

  • cheeriosinmypocket

    It begins with, “…his girlfriend was pregnant…” As horrific as the murder of the twins is, and the loss of her mental capacities is, what should also be mourned is an unmarried couple not loving each other enough to abstain from sexual intimacy. The breakdown of our culture is that males and females take what is not theirs. To exclusively give our sexuality to our spouse, both of whom have entered into a lifelong covenant of love and marriage, is what is required for children, for strong families, and for a culture of life. In the beginning he made them, male and female…

    • Bill Polakiewicz

      My exact feelings. It used to be – First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in baby carriage. When did we get it all wrong – first comes love, then comes living together, then come sex, then comes murder of our innocent little babies for every excuse we can think of.
      Society must get back on track, teach the correct way to a long, happy, loving, blessed life. Do it God’s way, not your way. Loving that special person, having a long courtship, planning out your lives, marrying with the grace of God, accepting all the babies God gives you and raising your family through all the blessings and/or hardships you might encounter. Do it God’s way not your way.

    • Andres Columbus

      no one can justify murder because of failing to abstain from sex…this ‘woman’, who chose to be a monster along with those abortion clinic people will bear the guilt for the rest of her life and rightfully so.

      • cheeriosinmypocket

        Who was justifying murder? The overwhelming bombardment of sexual intimacy in the media and the daily bombardment of our God given gift of our sexuality being perverted has numbed people to the point of being ok with what is not ok, with what is sin. The lie is that its my body and my life so I may do as I want…the same lie from the garden, I will be like God, I will be my own God. Those families who are living God centered lives, teaching and witnessing to the Faith and the Truths of the teaching of the Catholic Church are winning souls for salvation. They know the 2 most important facts, God is love, God is mercy. God, our Creator, did not send God, His only Son, Jesus, to just teach but rather to take upon Himself the weight of all of mankind’s sin, to suffer, be murdered, die, and win victory over death by rising again. Our Triune God sent His Holy Spirit to open mankind’s intellect and heart to His Glory, His Truth, His Way, His Life in order to live life abundantly here and eternally with Him. He welcomes those who sinned. He wants them to be enveloped in His love and mercy. He doesn’t discard, as man does. His desire so beyond what mankind can even contemplate is for all to see Truth, repent, be healed and follow Him.

        • Mevashir

          You also are astute here. The church should call for a TOTAL boycott of Hollywood and major newsmedia and trashazines by all Christians. The pastoral leadership lacks courage and vision to do this. Instead they whine incessant about the culture of death while ignoring the death merchants all around us. In my Catholic church many of the women and girls dress with less modesty than prostitutes of 100 years ago.

          • cheeriosinmypocket

            Thanks. Trashazines is funny…never heard that one. We would truly live more peace and joy-filled lives if we didn’t watch television (22 years of marriage and we’ve watched almost zero with few exceptions.) My children recognize trash immediately as a result and are grateful not to have all of those images bombarding their minds.
            I know there are some Pastors who try to place reminders in their bulletins regarding modest dress especially during warm weather months. We enjoyed raising our children with this understanding, “We are going to see the King of Heaven, so we wear our best.” Simple. One Pastor once said, “If you only have 2 outfits to wear in this world, wear your best to Church.” God bless you Fr. Christian!

    • http://JesusIsRisen.org childofnewlight

      Part of the problem is the ready condemnation that has driven people away from the church. I have a hard time believing he hasn’t already thought of this. Both of them have suffered thoroughly for their sins. They will now live with this terrible death on both of their heads for the rest of their lives. It’s time to pray and comfort rather than rebuke and condemn.

      • cheeriosinmypocket

        If you re-read my post, I did not condemn. Truth being told is bringing the situation to light. His sharing was bringing his understanding of what occurred to light. A significant piece of Truth that he may not have realized because of, from a portion below, … The overwhelming bombardment of sexual intimacy in the media and the daily bombardment of our God given gift of our sexuality being perverted has numbed people to the point of being ok with what is not ok, with what is sin… Living in a sexually active relationship without being married is sin. I wonder if anyone told them this and the beauty of the Truth as to why it is sin. God’s Way, God’s Truth, God’s plan for every soul He creates is perfect…not without struggle, challenges, suffering, but always with grace ready for the taking to live the life He desires for each of us…that we must come to desire as we come to know, love and serve Him…that is Peace, pure Joy, and happiness!

    • Mevashir

      You are SO right. According to the bible we are supposed to believe in, a baby conceived out of wedlock is under a curse of fornication. The mother is constantly tempted by Satan to abort the baby because she lacks the spiritual peace and serenity marriage would give her. Planned Murderhood is just an agent to complete Satan’s work.

      • sarah5775

        Obviously, Mevashir, you haven’t read this bible that you are thumping, as Jesus says that children are not to be punished for the sins of their parents. Children are innocent and are a blessing no matter how they are conceived. A child is not a lesser person because they were conceived outside of marriage. Innocent children are not cursed

        • cheeriosinmypocket

          Thanks for your quick clarification! May God bless you.

        • patriciacarrasco

          i have to tell u that children are innocent but we all are born w/ sin because of our ancestors, including fornication, children are born innocent but whatever sin was done before them affects them like a disease. just like diseases are hereditary many times, so is sin. if a parent is prone to any sin including fornication, it opens them up to demons in that area that lead them up to the same sins their parents commited. why do think sin abounds so much? because its a curse thats passed down and not broken. yet Jesus died to cancel that curse out but we must cancel it, it doesnt come automatically. i had to do this myself…read “blessing or curse: u can choose” by derek prince

      • cheeriosinmypocket

        Whoa! I would never think, say nor believe that a baby conceived out of wedlock is under a curse of fornication. The mother may be more tempted to believe she has a “right” (as they say) to choose murder vs. carrying the baby to full term having the lack of grace received in the sacrament of matrimony (which, by the way if anyone doesn’t know about this grace, it is limitless…my husband of 22 years described it as receiving checks to a bank account that never runs short). That grace goes both ways–husband and wife. God is all-good!
        I am blessed to have many friends who have adopted (both babies from birth as well as children up to 6 or 7 years old). How they are loved by their adopted father and mother! How they are blessed to be part of families that are bringing them up in Faith. They live Christ-centered lives and are blessings to their families and friends! God is all-good!

  • Maria Cecilia Pavlak

    The most heartbreaking story I have ever heard! Dads to-be have no rights! Planned Parenthood or Planned Murder? PP need to at least give women other options and more time to think! They are in such a hurry to get the job done and their $$$$$. May God have mercy!

    • scragsma

      Yes. The only thing they have to offer a pregnant woman is a dead child. With a miniscule number of exceptions, PP does not provide prenatal, postnatal, adoption, or parenting services. Only abortion.

      • Em

        PP actually provides a broad range of preventative health services including prenatal care, not to mention a host of helpful information on prenatal health on their website. You certainly don’t have to agree with everything they do, but there’s no need to spread misinformation.

  • Hoss

    I work in public education, they don’t care about the child in the womb.

  • scragsma

    I don’t understand why he didn’t stop and talk to the pro-lifers on the way out. I’m sure they would have been thrilled to be asked for help – Rachel’s Vineyard/Project Rachel, etc. It’s even possible that one of the pro-lifers, herself, was post-abortive and could TRULY have identified with and comforted them. This story is so sad, and I pray for all involved.

    I think maybe we need to get the word out better that we aren’t there to condemn, but to HELP! All you have to do is ASK!

  • Dave

    I went through a similar experience. Woman who do this just because “its their bodies” makes me sick. This story hits home.

    However, this man has so much courage and strength to share his story. His twins look are here in spirit with us, just like my beautiful angel.

    I pray that all babies gets the chance to experience life.

    • Lithp

      …It makes you sick that women control their own bodies?

      Let me ask you, do you feel similar revulsion at people who choose not to give blood or become organ donors?

      • kcard82

        Cut the crap with the “women control their own bodies” BS. I am so tired of hearing this. If it was a woman’s body that got hacked into pieces and thrown into a medical waste trashcan, then I would have sympathy.
        What is it that you cannot understand? When a woman is pregnant, there are TWO bodies involved and ONE of them has NO say whether or not he/she gets killed.
        Unborn babies are nothing but property to people like you.
        And CUT the CRAP with your red herring arguments of blood and organ donations. You people just refuse to stick to the issue at hand which is dead babies thrown out like yesterday’s trash in the name of “choice.”

  • hammar22

    I too have gone through this same story with the same outcome…I pray for forgiveness from Our Lord and God Jesus Christ to forgive our sins.

  • Judy

    Interesting how the moment the babies are born (in our state anyway), Dad suddenly has total veto power over any option other than parenting (by the mother, at least). I’ve seen many moms responsibly make an adoption plan, only to have the father refuse to allow it. This happens whether or not he is capable of parenting/willing to parent, free or incarcerated, etc. How can sane people tolerate this ridiculous dichotomy?!

  • littleromanJMJ

    This is such a sad story. :'(

  • Virginia Piccininni

    My mother’s cousin killed herself after she had an abortion and this was over 100 years
    ago.

  • Stephen Orozco

    Think on it; we have a president in the Whitehouse that promotes the murder of children in the womb, 100%. ObamaCare forces us to participate in murdering children, by way of taxation! We have a Supreme Court that rules in favor of mothers killing their innocent children. In addition, Congress and the public has stood by and allowed this abominable behavior because they have chosen murder as anacceptable solution to unbridled lust. Where is the public protest? More important, where are the pastors of our “sacred” institutions? They are cowering under the thought of loosing their tax breaks! We are a nation under indictment, and God is obligated to judge this evil. We deserve whatever we get… WTC, school shootings, a broken economy, loss of freedoms. It is all going to burst, like the festering pustule that it is.

    • Alex Hunter

      Obama is pro-choice, not pro-abortion. Pro-choice is allowing a woman to have as many options as possible. Pro-abortion is forcing total strangers to kill their unborn in order to appease their personal beliefs, then refusing to acknowledge them afterwards so that they can antagonise anther pregnant woman..

  • Rachel

    So terribly sad….tragic. Those poor babies, that poor man. I have no sympathy for the mother. None.

    • Frank Gant

      The man is just as guilty; he had sex with her outside of marriage, which is a sin just like murder is. Sin begets sin.

  • Tim Bree Elam

    This is heartbreaking

  • gogo mono

    That was the one of the most saddest stories I have ever heard, that really opened my eyes to see that some percentage of fathers want their babies. I really thought that they weren’t going to have an abortion when the babies had two strong kicks in her stomach. that story just made my heart rip in two. I really wish that someone would have never made up abortion. I wish that all people would open their eyes and see that babies in the womb are not clumps of cells they are babies!!!!!!!! These babies that are aborted could have been one of the greatest people in the world!!!! But you abort that chance by killing them!!! I pray for all the women in America that are planning to have an abortion this week see a sign from god or a change of heart that they change their minds and cancel their session. God bless!!!

  • Lithp

    Louise is right. A person’s medical decisions are only for them. Doctor-patient confidentiality exists in EVERY field of medicine, why should abortion be any different? If a man’s relationship with his significant other isn’t strong enough that she would involve him, that is the very definition of a personal problem, the government has no business regulating it, & even if they did, they would only be covering up the symptom of a larger problem.

    You know, this guy criticizes his wife’s planning, but I want to know where his is. Here are a few common questions that come up when a woman chooses an abortion, rephrased from this man’s point of view–I don’t think he passes the test:

    Did he talk to his wife at all about what they would do if she got pregnant? Did he use protection, & make sure that she was using birth control? How did he not see this coming at all? Why did he choose to have sex if he didn’t have all of this in order? Surely this woman displayed these personality traits prior to this event, why didn’t he choose a “better” wife?

    You might ask how I can be so callous. First of all, this story sounds heavily manufactured. It wouldn’t be the first time I saw some story circulated to make an emotional point which, while marketed as true, isn’t even based on anything that happened. Everything is just perfectly tailored to fit the arguments against abortion. The woman doesn’t act remotely logical, after she’d already decided that God told her to keep the babies, she shoots down several perfectly reasonable alternatives, ultimately going through with it only to “act like a modern woman,” only the father doesn’t change his mind, the embryos kick right on cue, the protestors weren’t the least bit hostile…that all of that happened sounds incredibly unlikely.

    But even if it did, am I the only one who notices that the father openly admits to reckless driving? Basically, he’s unapologetically saying that he knowingly endangered other peoples’ lives, but he excuses it with “I didn’t care because -I- was upset.” I’m supposedly a heartless advocate of infanticide, why am I the only one bothered by this?

    • kcard82

      Obviously you didn’t read very carefully because she wasn’t his wife, it was his girlfriend which he mentions quite frequently.

  • Carolyn Wiggins

    A woman may choose to make her womb a grave for her child, but that child still lives because it is a living soul. “I knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb”
    (Jeremiah1:5) I know women who have made this horrible decision of abortion, but I don’t know of one who has not lived with regret and guilt. There is forgiveness, and a hope, when taken to God. He alone can heal the broken hearted. There is the hope of seeing that child and giving her/him a name; the creator already knows the name you will give. I pray for those who are facing this choice that they will consider the life a their baby. They may have other children, but never this one! So many await adoption and that is a better alternative than murder! Only God can give life….and He has a purpose for that life.

  • http://www.flathillfaith.com/ Daniel Delgado

    Truly heartbreaking! We must certainly pray for this couple.

  • Charles

    I realize this is not ok, but its stories like these that make me wish Planned Parenthood nothing but ill. I don’t consider myself to be a violent person, but Planned Parenthood deserves every single car bomb and sniper attack that winds up on their doorstep. They are completely heartless scumbags and this proves it.

  • Elora

    I find it so sad to think about all these people–it’s angering that they’re so selfish, when they have the proof right at their fingertips. But my sadness is for those who know exactly the truth, and they are powerless to stop it. We must keep everyone in our prayers.

  • thestormy

    The problem begins with a desire to self serve ones desires with no thought of consequences. Next comes the fact that abortion has become birth control instead of responsible actions. IMO,it started with the free love era of the 70’s. Do drugs and have as many partners as your heart desires. Have group sex.Anything goes.Progressive movement has destroyed our society. No prayer in school,no love of nation,anything you do wrong is some other persons fault. No wonder we are in such a pit hole. We have allowed the socialist to turn our great nation into an European hell pit.

  • ThePaganProLifer

    Oh…. gosh… no words… I really have no words…..

  • Kem

    I have always been anti-abortion and I watched a video on an ultrasound being done during an abortion. If they show that to a woman before an abortion, there is no way she could go through with it. No one with a heart could do that after seeing how the baby screams as it is being ripped apart. This must stop

    • Alex Hunter

      Would you advocate showing video footage of cattle being slaughtered in a butcher’s shop?

      • patriciacarrasco

        red herring alert!!! animals and people are not equal , animals dont have a spirit. i dont condone animal abuse but i cant place them as equals to a human being and i dont know why people do. maybe u dont eat animals and i congratulate u, it must be hard, maybe one day ill do it too; but just because u dont eat animals(if u dont) it doesnt mean that ur above people who do and that its similar to abortion, as if babies are just another type of animal that is destroyed (although i do believe that God didnt originally design us to eat meat, and in heaven animals wont be consumed).

      • patriciacarrasco

        or perhaps ur a Darwinist that believes were all just animals anyways….sigh..when will it end?

  • Jeanette Hancock

    This is tragic. Tragic for babies. Tragic for father. Tragic for mother. But it is a hard cold warning for father. To all men with pro-life leanings.

    KEEP IT IN YOUR DARN PANTS!

    Until you have had the talk about contraception, about abortion, where does she stand on these issues? What about foetal defect, what about medical issues, what about twins and multiples and infertility?

    Do not have sex with that woman until you are married to her. And only marry her if your opinions on abortion are the same as yours. Otherwise, who’s fault is it? BEcause in this day and age, the man has no say, no legal ability to intervene, you cannot have your cake and eat it to.

    The man sadly brought this pain on himself. IF he had controlled himself, had the talk, waited till marriage, this could have been averted. The majority of abortions are women who are unmarried. It is all too easy for them to go into abortion.

  • luigibelmont

    Is a very dramatic experience, I can’t understand that after God direct intervention the pour lady has succumbed to the evil inspired by satan. I fill very sorry for her as we all had fall short and sins, the man filling when the babies had been killed is God left know as the pour young women had experience even more. My the Lord guide her hard to found him and forgive her, she is another victim of our secular social wrong ideology that preach a false and harming wrong religion of women right, with out explain the realty of the pain.

    The unsuccessful father had be undermine by a false women right and had been unjustly negate his right of couple. Married or not when you live together you are one, a piece of paper is not marriage. As they live and share they life they should have the same weight in the decision to kill or rise the baby. God help them in they sorrow and pain and left them in His arms of grace.

  • Frank Gant

    This is very sad for the murdered babies! Abortion is such a horrible thing. I noticed that he wrote that the girlfriend was a “loose Christian” — but what was HIS relationship to God? Not any better! He prays for guidance concerning the abortion, but was he praying when he committed fornication with her? Why does he not reflect that having sex outside of marriage is a sin just like abortion? If they had honored God with physical purity than those babies would not have been murdered. This man needs to get off his high horse; he is just as guilty as she is!

  • Faye

    It is so sad that it seems that today’s pregnant woman feels as if she has only two choices: abort or parent the child. It is a shame that so many women who have helped to create a child are unwilling to forego their plans for a few months so that the child can live and be born. There are so many loving parents-to-be who would gladly put that child first if only the pregnant woman would give birth and then allow the baby to be adopted. This is not without problems, but it seems so much better than abortion and even better than possibly resentment toward the child. The “unready” mother who places her child for adoption can feel that she did what was best for her and especially what was best for the child. In this case, it might would have been nice if a family member of the father could have adopted the child. Why isn’t Adoption- “a Good Choice” solution talked about more?

    • Alex Hunter

      Its a lot longer than a few months, especially if the baby is handicapped.

  • Bridget

    They’re in heaven waiting.

  • Musashi

    We are a stupid people! If you don’t want children then don’t have sex Period! Children are not a choice they are a Gift. The only choice is to not have sex and you won’t get or get someone pregnant. Choice the left diminishes murder by framing the argument a a woman’s right to choice please take some responsibility for your actions.

  • Rolando Rmn

    Let me guess, the idiot doesn’t use condoms, doesn’t want her on the pll, she gets pregnant and he wants to decide what SHE should do. Sorry, but no… I don’t agree with the guy, the letter with anything!

  • Considering

    “She said that she was going to college and I could stay home and watch the baby. I was working for Lockheed Martin at the time and a condition of my employment was that I had to be enrolled in a Bachelor’s Program. So we disagreed on who was going to finish college first”

    So because it was so important for you to put your needs first you lost an opportunity. Why was it ok for her to sacrifice her plans if she had the babies, but not for you to take the hit and stay home?

  • Pingback: Povestea dureroasă a unui tată... şi răspunsul dat de Planned Parenthood bărbaţilor aflaţi în situaţia lui | Știri pentru viațăȘtiri pentru viață