Analysis

Abortion best choice, a child with a disability “not a blessing” according to Reality Check (part 2)

Part 1 discussed three of Sierra of RH Reality Check’s main points behind her argument that abortion is a good choice when a child is diagnosed with a disability or genetic condition. She goes on to claim that certain families should not have children, that parents turn disabilities into fetishes, and that children with disabilities can destroy a family.

Deciding Which Families Have the Right to Raise Their Children

Sierra believes that there are families who shouldn’t raise children with special needs. She writes:

Special needs children aren’t high-maintenance pets that exist to teach you lessons about fortitude and compassion. They are people[.] […] Not every family can afford the medical care of a special needs child. Not every family can afford the time spent caring for a special needs child, especially if they already have multiple children. To demand that families that know they lack these resources nonetheless give up everything to bring a child into a world where it will be neglected, inadequately treated by doctors, and in all likelihood end up in foster care or, as an adult, homeless, is cruelly insane.

Sierra’s right on one thing: these children are people. However, the theory that certain families just aren’t equipped to care for a child with a special need is a cop-out. It not only sells families short, but is a neon flashing sign of a failure on the part of our country and our communities. Yes, there are people who will struggle more with the extra demands of raising a child with special needs than others will, but how does that lead to a “likelihood” of ending up in foster care? More children with disabilities are living and thriving at home with their families than ever before because of programs that offer support. And why condemn a child to death rather than help the family to cope, or offer the family an alternative such as adoption? There’s a waiting list of families wanting to adopt a baby, disability or not. And why would doctors treat this child any differently from how they treat their other patients? Telling a mother she should abort her baby because she doesn’t have money is insulting and disgraceful. It leaves her feeling trapped, as though her only choice is abortion, and if she does abort, it sets her up for a lifetime of depression, guilt, and regret.

Turning Disability into a Fetish

Sierra writes:

Respecting the rights of disabled people does not mean honoring or celebrating disability itself[.] […] When you argue that children with Down syndrome are ‘special gifts’ or that raising them is a ‘rewarding experience’ for parents, you are appropriating their difficulties and fetishizing their difference. That is the opposite of respecting a disabled person.

Do I think that raising a child with cystic fibrosis is rewarding? Yes. Does that mean I have turned CF into a fetish? No. CF is also frustrating, emotionally exhausting, financially difficult, and stressful. However, so are many other things in life, such as education and work. Do the trials of getting a college degree outweigh the benefits? Absolutely not. It is my positive attitude towards cystic fibrosis, and my reminders to my daughter that life is a gift, which will help her grow into a successful adult. Sierra believes that we should respect people with disabilities, but how can she when she actually believes that their lives are worth less than hers? Her words are more harmful to those with disabilities than she realizes. As Ronnie Sharpe, blogger and creator of Cystic Life, an online community for those with CF, says:

Sierra is absolutely entitled to her opinion. Sadly, as a 32 year-old fully-abled adult male with cystic fibrosis, after reading her opinion I felt dehumanized, minimized and devalued. I thought that’s what she was trying to avoid in this world? She should think about that before she inserts herself into a disease community that she knows nothing about. You can’t ‘Google’ your way to an understanding of the lives of me and my friends.

Blaming Children with Disabilities for Family Problems

Sierra goes on to take the radical stance that children with disabilities are to blame for family problems. Family problems, including divorce, arise from all sorts of events in life. It is the adults, who can’t find the proper way to cope in such hard times, who fail. It is never the fault of an innocent child. However, Sierra writes:

In my own church, there was a woman with two children who got pregnant and found out her child had a fatal defect. She decided against having an abortion, believing that God would honor her and heal her child (or at least provide for it). The child lived 13 years in unspeakable pain, without cognition, undergoing surgery after surgery until she died – and by this time the family had exhausted its resources, the other two children had been practically abandoned. […] That child was not a ‘blessing.’ It was not a ‘rewarding’ experience – though the mother might tell you so out of sheer love and the need to justify her situation. The child’s birth destroyed her family, and she was never even aware enough of her own existence to realize she was loved.

Any decision that this mother may have made regarding the care of her family was not her child’s fault. It wasn’t the child’s birth that the destroyed the family. It was the parents’ actions that caused the harm. To claim that the mother would call raising her daughter a rewarding experience as a way to justify giving birth to the child is only that – a claim, an assumption on the part of Sierra. Every child is a blessing. It is uncompassionate and imprudent to say otherwise. In addition, any one of us, at any time, can become disabled, no matter how much we don’t want to believe it. Jacynda, mom to a child with CF, says:

What would she [Sierra] do if a child was in a car accident and had a head injury leaving them disabled? Why is it okay to select to kill a fetus with a disability, but not a person who acquires a disability later in life? Don’t they bring the same burden to the parents, the siblings, and to the family financial state?

Unfortunately, that may be where our country is headed. We start by killing those who are the weakest and we move on from there, to the elderly, those in nursing homes, and those who can’t speak up for themselves, just as the unborn can’t.

Despite her lack of firsthand experience with disability and genetic conditions, Sierra has decided to throw her support behind the termination of unborn humans with disabilities, as if the act of abortion will lead to the disappearance of disabilities altogether. The world will always include people with disabilities – those born with them and those who receive them later in life. It isn’t abortion that will cure genetic conditions. That will come from studying and working with those with such conditions. In order to cure a disease, someone must first be living with that disease. All that abortion achieves is the destruction of the weakest of us. The most innocent of us. The ones most worthy of our care and protection. Sharpe says it better than anyone:

Do I want to live in a world free of disease, disabilities and suffering? Of course! Do I want to get there by selectively choosing who is worthy enough to exist based on a strand of DNA? Never.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/crazzeto Carlo Razzeto

    Great responses

  • http://twitter.com/MarauderTheSN Marauder

    Wow. It’s kind of a basic principle of psychology that children aren’t responsible for things adults do, whether it’s divorce, sexual abuse, alcoholism, or something as benign as moving to a different state. I just hope no kids/teenagers with a disability and family problems read what Sierra said and decided that it’s all their fault.

    I have never had a major physical illness and am intelligent enough to have graduated from both college and law school, and I’ve been suicidal at multiple points in my life. Loads of people with disabilities have never felt that way, although loads of others have. You can’t determine who’s going to live a happy life based on whether or not they have a disability.

    Also, haven’t people with CF gotten way longer life expectancies in the last ten to twenty years or so?

    • Nancy

      the average life expectancy for CF has doubled in the last 30 years. It is now age 37, meaning 50% of those with CF will make it to age 37 (which still isn’t good enough). But new drugs being tested right now could mean a regular life expectancy. There’s a lot happening in the CF world right now!

  • Richard

    Why would you force a disabled child on a woman? Because you think that she would enjoy an experience that is “frustrating, emotionally exhausting, financially difficult, and stressful”?

    • PoorRichard

      Oh dear, women are so weak they cannot handle a disabled child, so just kill the thing off in the womb and the world is full of rainbows and unicorns again?

      • Richard

        Let’s put it this way, each individual should be able to make the decision whether or not they are “strong” enough to handle an experience that is “frustrating, emotionally exhausting, financially difficult, and stressful”.

        The alternative is either to assume that women are too stupid to make such decisions or that you don’t really care what the woman wants when it comes to bearing and raising children.

        It’s great that there are children with disabilities who are growing up happy and that there are loving, stable, financially well-off families that are able to care for them. Such is not always the case, however, and the “one size fits all” approach to child-bearing is both dehumanizing and severely lacking in compassion.

        • ace

          A pre-born person is an individual in their own right. How can you consider them otherwise? What about their rights? Abortion is murder, plain and simple; murder of a human being and murder of conscience. Where is the compassion for the helpless human life? Who holds the baby’s hand during the abortion?

      • Diana

        It’s not about that, it’s about what the child will feel about his own
        life, if he’s glad to be alive or angry his mother chose to give birth
        to him only to live a short and miserable life.I’m pro abortion and I
        would have been happy if I were aborted cause I wouldn’t have felt a
        thing.Some people in my case are happy to be alive and view this as a challenge and not a disability, but that’s not my case I find it unfair and makes me angry.If I wasn’t born there would have been a happy and healthy kid instead of me who would have lived life without being afraid of what’s next.

    • http://www.facebook.com/sandi6902 Sandra Kaye Jenkins

      That’s the risk a woman takes when she has sex…. JUST LIKE AIDS

      • Richard

        And, boom, goes the dynamite.

        • Guest

          Abortion kills someone you created by your action.

          • Richard

            A zygote does not a person make. I do have this question, however, if abortion is murder, what prison sentence for the woman do you think would be appropriate? Or should she simply be put to death? What do you all think?

          • CDville

            Detail: a zygote is a human being. Personhood, presently, is defined by law, just as it was for the slaves in early American society and for the Jews, gays, and disabled in Nazi Germany. It is time for ALL human beings to be respected as persons, from fertilization until natural death.

          • ace

            Well. let’s see, Richard. How come, where there is a marriage, many urologists will not perform a vasectomy without the wife’s permission? Any liability for an abortion, once declared illegal, should be shared by those who pressured the woman to have the abortion and by the person who performed the procedure. There’s a reason, however, that we distinguish in law between homicide and murder. And, since abortions increase a woman’s risk of breast cancer in later life, where the abortionist has failed to disclose the known risk, the doctor and clinic should have civil liability for damages.

          • Richard the Zygote

            You were a zygote once…

    • Nancy

      there’s always adoption. I mentioned that.

    • Guest

      adoption…how come pro-aborts forget this option?

      • Richard

        Adoption is great for women who want to carry to term.

        • ace

          A pre-born child is not a woman’s body just because it’stemporarily living there. It’s a baby, not a tumor. This is simple biology – it takes the DNA of 2 people.

  • Blah

    I find it interesting that the author attempts to assign a sense of morality to aborting a baby because it could potentially have a disability. That somehow we can assign compassion to that act – justifying an act that is wrong. She even calls her argument “dehumanizing children.” But aren’t we dehumanizing the unborn child? How is good parenting choosing to kill your child?

    The other ridiculous part to this is the quip Sierra throws in about how the “mother is being taken out of the picture.” That the “fetus becomes a baby only after birth.” Really? Seriously? Load of bullcrocky. Pregnancy is part of womanhood. And yes, *gasp*, when you become pregnant it’s suddenly not-about-you-anymore. Welcome to the real world.

    A parent who chooses to abort their unborn child is not making a compassionate, caring decision. A woman who considers her “fetus bump” a problem and she should somehow get to decide that the fetus is too much trouble and must be killed has mental issues. Women are being taught to duck out, take the easy path, and darned be the consequences later. Women are not taught to be strong, and take on challenges, and embrace being a true woman (Yes, a true woman, a woman who does not shirk her responsibilities. A true woman that stands up and faces the world, not a woman who chooses to play god and end a life).

    • http://www.facebook.com/sandi6902 Sandra Kaye Jenkins

      AMEN… and then they wonder why REAL: men have little respect for them after they have n abortion….

  • http://www.facebook.com/sandi6902 Sandra Kaye Jenkins

    I guess she thinks children with cystic fibrosis and cancer should be murdered since they too become a burden to families at some point… or maybe when you get old and you can;t walk alone so you don;t get in her way- She’s a barbaric animal Maybe we ought to eradicate people who believe THEY’RE PERFECT- you know those that think that children with disabilities should be aborted.

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  • Detroiter327

    What is the answer to all of this then? Should prenatal testing be illegal? Can you punish someone for the thought crime of aborting a potentially disabled child? How can this legally be remedied?

    • Guest

      outlaw abortion

      • Detroiter327

        Any other solutions that pertain specifically to the problem of prenatal discrimination?

  • jane

    I find it ironic how those who support abortion fin it okay to murder the disabled… like what Hitler did.:/

    • CDville

      Yet they keep calling us nazis. Projection, I guess.

  • Sarah

    Sierra’s comments really make me sad because I have a friend whose parents were told their unborn child could have mental disabilities. The parents decided against that, and 18 years later she graduated with honors and is one of the kindest people I know. I can’t imagine how many other amazing people have been killed because of the possibility of a “defect.” We all have defects, some more severe than others. I have a pigment deficiency in my eyes, but does that mean my parents should have killed me to avoid the costs of special glasses? No, that’s ridiculous. Should parents kill their children to avoid the cost of medicine. Absolutely not.

  • http://twitter.com/Cinmacd Cindy MacDougall

    Excellent, logical, engaging rebuttal. Good for you.