Analysis

Amanda Marcotte: Babies are time-sucking monsters, abortion like removing a cavity

AmandaMarcotte1

Amanda Marcotte

Most abortion advocates are careful to act as if they’re not really fans of abortion. No one likes abortion, they’ll say. It’s a necessary decision that is painful for most women and they always think long and hard about it, and it isn’t a choice that is made cavalierly. No one wants to have an abortion, they’ll say. It’s only about “choice”.

Unfortunately, sometimes they let the mask slip and expose their rabid fanaticism for abortion show. The most recent person to do this is pro-abortion femisogynist extremist Amanda Marcotte in a two-part rant on Raw Story.

The first post shows a picture of a happy, smiling pregnant woman with the caption, This is what my version of hell looks like. She then goes on to talk about how only abortion activists can debate while thinking freely. (Caution for language — this is Amanda Marcotte, after all.)

[I]f wasting time typing that shit out amuses you, knock yourself out. But don’t pretend that you’re advancing the cause of free thought while doing so. That’s because rational, free discourse is predicated on the understanding that everyone involved in the debate is arguing in good faith, and I can assure you, after years of dealing with this issue, that anti-choicers are not arguing in good faith.

The real money quote comes later, though.

Well, let me just put a stop to this shit right now. You can give me gold-plated day care and an awesome public school right on the street corner and start paying me 15% more at work, and I still do not want a baby. I don’t particularly like babies. They are loud and smelly and, above all other things, demanding. No matter how much free day care you throw at women, babies are still time-sucking monsters with their constant neediness. No matter how flexible you make my work schedule, my entire life would be overturned by a baby. I like my life how it is, with my ability to do what I want when I want without having to arrange for a babysitter. I like being able to watch True Detective right now and not wait until baby is in bed. I like sex in any room of the house I please. I don’t want a baby. I’ve heard your pro-baby arguments. Glad those work for you, but they are unconvincing to me. Nothing will make me want a baby.

And don’t float “adoption” as an answer. Adoption? Fuck you, seriously. I am not turning my body over for nine months of gaining weight and puking and being tired and suffering and not being able to sleep on my side and going to the hospital for a bout of misery and pain so that some couple I don’t know and probably don’t even like can have a baby. I don’t owe that couple a free couch to sleep on while they come to my city to check out the local orphans, so I sure as shit don’t own them my body. I like drinking alcohol and eating soft cheese. I like not having a giant growth protruding out of my stomach. I hate hospitals and like not having stretch marks. We don’t even force men to donate sperm—a largely pleasurable activity with no physical cost—so forcing women to donate babies is reprehensible.

This is why, if my birth control fails, I am totally having an abortion. Given the choice between living my life how I please and having my body within my control and the fate of a lentil-sized, brainless embryo that has half a chance of dying on its own anyway, I choose me. Here’s another uncomfortable fact for anti-choicers: Just because a woman does want children doesn’t mean she wants them now. Maybe she’s still got some fun-having to do. Or maybe she has a couple already and, already well-educated about the smelly neediness of babies, feels done with having them. Either way, what she wants trumps the non-existent desires of a mindless pre-person that is so small it can be removed in about two minutes during an outpatient procedure. Your cavities fight harder to stay in place.

She acknowledges that most normal people probably recoiled reading that, and she would be right. And here’s why: the truth is, most people don’t care if you don’t want a baby. No one really cares what you do with your life, Amanda, shocking as that may be. The thing is, just because you don’t want a baby doesn’t mean that you should have the ability to take a child’s life. And while she sneers about how much she hates babies, most people want and love children. Probably has something to do with not being narcissistic, self-absorbed pro-abortion extremists. You know, or something like that.

What’s interesting is how she acts as if floating the idea of adoption for those facing unplanned pregnancies is somehow forcing them into it. No, Amanda. It’s called having sex. You choose to have sex, you choose to open the door to having a baby, no matter what kind of birth control you’re on. Every time a person has sex, there is a possibility that they will get pregnant, barring a full hysterectomy. She compares it to forcing men to donate sperm, surely what she feels is a no-fail argument against “the patriarchy.” The problem with that is that no one made it to where women are the ones who carry babies. It wasn’t something that men engineered. It’s called science, Amanda. It’s just the way it is, fair or unfair. Acknowledge reality and move on.

And comparing abortion to having a cavity removed? That’s rich. Most patients who get cavities removed don’t end up with a litany of potential future health problems and psychological trauma. It isn’t a difficult, emotionally charged decision to have a cavity removed. Oh, yeah, and removing a cavity? It isn’t taking a life.

Her follow-up post basically retreads a tired and incredibly false argument:

Frankly, the more traditional, conservative argument against abortion—no, they’re not going to lift a finger to help you with your unwanted baby and you should have thought about that before fucking, you stupid slut who deserves to suffer—at least has the refreshing scent of honesty to it.

This is, of course, patently false. Catholic Charities, for example, has many programs designed to help pregnant women, and not just through their pregnancy. Giving them cribs and baby clothes and helping them get connected with their local resources and social services isn’t just beneficial just during pregnancy, after all. Crisis pregnancy centers also often have similar programs, but people like Amanda Marcotte will never acknowledge them. They’d rather tell scared pregnant women that there is nothing and no one out there to help — they’re more likely to get an abortion that way.

Of course, none of this is unusual for Amanda Marcotte. She’s called babies human waste before, as an example. And it’s illuminating, really. In order to win this war, we have to know who we’re fighting. And Amanda Marcotte shows that. While it’s easy to get outraged and angry about the vile she spews, don’t be. Pity her, or pray for her. It must be hard to live each day filled with so much anger, hatred, and misery.

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