Skip to content
Published: June 8, 2013 10:04 am to Opinion Column

Blogger mocks father-to-be’s anguish over girlfriend’s abortion as “penisfeels”

A common tale is the man who gets a girl pregnant, and then pressures her into having an abortion. For men just looking to screw around and avoid commitment at any cost, abortion is the perfect solution. Abortion allows them to use a woman and then leave her, have sex and still avoid any kind of consequences or responsibility for their actions.

But what about the other side of the coin? The man who grieves at the abortion of his child, who wants to step up and take responsibility and make a commitment, is not often mentioned in the abortion discussion. When he is, he’s oftentimes mocked and told that he has no right to speak up. Such men are also smeared as misogynists who don’t care about women and want to force a life of misery and servitude onto their unwitting partners. Yet, strangely, these same people will insist that if the woman does want the baby and the man doesn’t, he should be forced to financially support the woman and her child for almost two decades against his will. Seems slightly hypocritical, no?

With that in mind, let’s check out this plea for advice, where a man wrote into a newspaper expressing his anguish and hurt over his girlfriend’s decision to have an abortion.

I’m really confused right now and as I can’t talk to anybody else I’m trying the anonymity of the news paper.

I have a relatively new girlfriend – it’s only a few months since we got together – and as a result of her having a virus, and vomiting all the time, the Pill wasn’t effective, and now she is pregnant.

She wants to have an abortion because she says we don’t know each other well enough to be parents, and I can’t think of anything worse than aborting an unborn child.

All the controversy going on right now doesn’t help, and I am at my wit’s end.

None of our parents has a clue as to what is really going on.

I’m in my late 20s and she is a few years younger. What are your thoughts?

While the newspaper columnist does, in fact, tell the man that the decision is solely the woman’s to make, she also points out that he could tell her that adoption is a choice, and that he can and should make his feelings known to her. Another pro-abortion blogger picked up on this plea for advice, though, and her response was slightly more offensive.

Dear Anonymous,

Unlike you, I can think of something worse than aborting an unborn child: a woman who is unwilling to put her health and future at risk and commit to 18 years of parenthood with a near-stranger so that a grown-ass man doesn’t ever have to feel confused or sad about a decision he will never have to make for himself.

What an awful position you’re in, being physically unable to be pregnant and yet knowing exactly what pregnancy is like, and specifically what your girlfriend should do about hers! So many pregnant people experience complicated emotions about unplanned pregnancy and bodily autonomy, while you’re cursed with the absolute knowledge of what’s best for all pregnancies, if only everyone would just listen to your penisfeels for a minute.

But you’re helpless to force every pregnant person ever to carry every pregnancy to term, which is the right thing to do because you personally can’t imagine anything worse than something you literally cannot imagine because it literally will never happen to your body. O, cruel fate!

What can you do? Make a lot of frowns at your girlfriend so she sees how sad you will be if she doesn’t spend the next nine months, and potentially 18 subsequent years, attending to your emotional wellbeing, the most delicate and precious thing on the earth (besides zygotes).

What would the reaction be if a male blogger were to respond to a woman expressing her feelings of guilt, confusion, and anguish over having an abortion to mere “vaginafeels”? Apparently, the idea is that not only must a man let his partner have an abortion without any complaint, but he isn’t allowed to have any personal feelings on the matter, either.

We also see, yet again, the argument that because men can’t get pregnant, they can’t possibly be capable of understanding what pregnancy is like and therefore have no say on the issue. Does that mean that only the Chinese can speak out against the inhumanities of China’s one-child policy and the human rights abuses currently going on there? That the only people allowed to speak about the Holocaust should be Jewish? Issues of human rights have no race, creed, or gender. But pro-aborts need a way to shut down the argument.

Perhaps most disturbing about this viewpoint on men and abortion are the two common views that pregnancy will forever ruin a woman, and that men should actively seek to avoid responsibility for their actions. Women are told, over and over again, that an accidental pregnancy will destroy their lives and their futures, and that their only reasonable choice is to have an abortion. Having the baby will curse them to slave away in poverty, miserable and alone, forever; putting the baby up for adoption is rarely, if ever, mentioned. As for men, they’re shamed and derided when they actually step up and accept the consequences of their actions.

After all, pregnancy isn’t a mystical condition that just mysteriously happens to an unsuspecting woman one day. It requires sex – sex which, most of the time, is consensual – and that requires two people. Having sex, even if you’re using birth control, means you are willingly accepting the risk of becoming pregnant. Yet when men choose to react to their actions by rising to the occasion and accepting responsibility, they’re lambasted by pro-aborts.

This is what we have come to: a world where a man taking responsibility for his actions is portrayed as a bad thing. Yet we also complain about the breakdown of the family and the epidemic of absentee, deadbeat fathers. Is it really that difficult to make the connection? Not only are men given the option of avoiding responsibility for their actions, but they’re encouraged to do so, so how can we then be surprised when more and more men shirk their responsibilities as fathers? Meanwhile, the men who do want to step up and be…well, real men are mocked, insulted, and silenced.

It seems that men are in a lose-lose situation. If they choose to not be involved with their children, then they’re punished. If they choose to step up and be a father when it isn’t what the woman wants, they’re punished. They’re slaves to the whims of women, and if they step out of line at all, then they’re horrible human beings. Is it really that difficult to see that there’s a problem here?

About Cassy Fiano

Cassy Fiano is a blogger who lives with her husband, a United States Marine. They have a toddler named Ben, a second son named Wyatt, who has Down syndrome, and a little girl named Ivy.
View all posts by Cassy Fiano

  • ra44mr2

    Ive been there, and although i didnt agree with what my gf at the time did i did support her, but i do sometimes wonder how things would have turned out had she had the kid and just gave it to me to raise. I was more than willing to do so.

  • Pingback: Man Mocked for Anguish Over Girlfriend's Abortion | Real Hot News on ZBlogging

  • Pingback: Man Mocked for Anguish Over Girlfriend's Abortion | Conservative Critic

  • Lucy

    In the pro-abortion world view, a woman’s body is like a Hertz Rent-a-Car: You use it, you vacuum it out, then it’s ready for the next customer to use. But it’s conservatives who have declared “war on women.”

  • Dom_Greenleaf

    Don’t think it is a common tale, that the man knocks up the girl and pressures her into having an abortion. If it were so commonly known, people would wake up from the lie that it’s all about “my body my choice” and realize the role men play in abortion and have played since its legalization in the early 70s. There are thousands and thousands of “fathers” out there who chose comfort over responsibility and in the process lead the women they “love” like sheep to the slaughter house. It doesn’t take responsibility away from the women, of course, but it is critical that the real picture of abortion is brought to life so that people realize the skewed depiction of it that has been propagated by feminists to defend murder.

    • justlisa

      And, how is it that YOU know what “the real picture of abortion is”?

      • Faithkuz

        Post abortive Women and Men are telling their stories. Some were collected by CNN. Here are a few specific stories of coerced abortion:

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-928095

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-928115

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-928202

        Men also comment on how abortion affects their sense of self, identitity as a man, and relationship to God.

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-927511

        I encourage you to read the first-hand accounts of both abortion and its aftermath. It is not any kind of solution and– contrary to the rhetoric of “choice,”– women typically report being misinformed or uninformed as to the health risks they are taking or any other risks, such as psychological trauma and other consequences. There is no choice where there is incomplete and misleading information. This will be over with in a few minutes; this will take care of your problems; you won’t have to think about it ever again.

      • Faithkuz

        Post abortive Women and Men are telling their stories. Some were collected by CNN. Here are a few specific stories of coerced abortion:

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DO

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DO

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DO

        Men also comment on how abortion affects their sense of self, identitity as a man, and relationship to God.

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-927591

        http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DO

        I encourage you to read the first-hand accounts of both abortion and its aftermath. It is not any kind of solution and– contrary to the rhetoric of “choice,”– women typically report being misinformed or uninformed as to the health risks they are taking or any other risks, such as psychological trauma and other consequences. There is no choice where there is incomplete and misleading information. This will be over with in a few minutes; this will take care of your problems; you won’t have to think about it ever again.

  • Pingback: Man Mocked for Anguish Over Girlfriend's Abortion

  • Wilbur J Huffnagel

    “They’re slaves to the whims of women, and if they step out of line at
    all, then they’re horrible human beings. Is it really that difficult to
    see that there’s a problem here?” Thanks, Feminism,

  • ghebert

    Sadly, feminist-minded individuals simply want to silence opposing points of view…they don’t want to engage in any debate that will challenge or criticize their talking points or have to deal with facts that would force them to re-evaluate their position. If they were actually forced to view men as human beings with real human emotions rather than human doings whose only worth is in what they can do for them hell would freeze over (figuratively speaking).

    • Basset_Hound

      Don’t forget the irresponsible me who will argue forcefully for abortion because they want an endless stream of compliant women who won’t make any demands for commitment.

      • ghebert

        So basically sexual liberation for women, responsibility and obligation for men? Yes, yes I know…if men don’t want a baby, then they have to keep it in their pants. The problem with that is that it creates a double standard in a world where we keep touting like a broken record “feminism is about equality…women are strong and independent and don’t need a man…end traditional gender roles”. All of that goes right out the window as soon as equal treatment becomes a burden for women. Feminism is only about equality so far as women don’t have to face any sort of accountability for their decisions, women are strong and independent until things get a little too tough, then they need government to step in and give them entitlements, end traditional gender roles when women don’t want to be stuck being housewives but lets keep the gender roles that turn men into part sperm donor, part ATM. Is it really irresponsible of men to want the same “no-strings-attached” sex that women get to enjoy? Irresponsible is giving women rights without responsibility.

        • Basset_Hound

          How about responsibility for both men and women. It’s wrong for men to have casual sex and walk away. It’s just as wrong for women to treat men as ATM’s and sperm donors, but totally unnecessary for anything else.

  • Bobby Rodriguez

    These guys are dopes and the women are smart to terminate and not be tethered to their embryonic ball and chain

    • kelsey

      The last time I checked, sir, pregnancy was not a punishment…

      • Lauren

        Hey, God said he wold make childbearing worse, and he did. That is and was indeed intended to be a punishment. At any rate, I’ve got no love for abortion, but I certainly was never interested in pregnancy and all it entails. Tubal ligation was the ticket for our marriage. I do wish more people who are sure they don’t want to parent would choose more permanent methods.

  • Basset_Hound

    One more reason for a man to restrain himself until he knows a woman and they make a commitment to each other BEFORE he drops trou.

  • Bobby Rodriguez

    These men are loser idiots

  • GracieW

    Outside the clinic where I sidewalk counsel I’ve seen quite a few men throw their hands up in defeat and tell me “What can I do? She made her decision! She won’t listen to me!” and then follow their partner into the clinic with their heads down.

    Something in this article jumped out at me. The attitude of the pregnant woman that she doesn’t know this guy well enough to parent with him. But she had SEX with him! When did women lower their standards so much that we will jump into bed with a guy we hardly know and act like that makes us cool and liberated.

  • Marauder

    What I find most disturbing about this – even though so much of this is disturbing – is the way the pro-abortion blogger is basically mocking the concept that he should even be allowed to have feelings about whether his girlfriend aborts their baby. It’s dehumanizing and creepy.

  • Basset_Hound

    GOOD FOR YOU for using the CNN report. One can simply give a cursory glance to the titles of the post to see how many “I regret my abortion” posts versus “I had an abortion, tap danced out of the clinic and got on with my life” stories. I saved the link in my list of resources. It is an absolute gold mine because CNN is not a pro-life site.

  • Pingback: Kanye West, pro-abort role model | Foundation Life

  • Pingback: Kanye West, pro-abort role model

  • Pingback: “Pro-Choice” Blogger Mocks Father’s Anguish Over Abortion Of His Baby - Hearts United For Life