Brent and Bekah Hisayasu have twin boys and are expecting their third boy any day now. Back in November, they received some unexpected news. Tests revealed that their baby had “abnormal developments” that included an enlarged kidney, two cysts in his brain, and an enlarged ventricle that transports cerebrospinal fluid to the spine. These types of abnormalities can cause Down syndrome, Trisomy 13, and Trisomy 18. The couple knew, however, that abortion wasn’t an option.
Later in December, the couple received news that their son was developing “much more normally,” and that if it continued this way, his chance of a genetic disorder would be lowered. On their blog, Becka wrote about her love for her unborn son:
I never grow tired of seeing his precious frame and hearing his rapid, little heart beat. He may just be another appointment for the ultrasound technician, or another statistic in this hospital, but not to me and Brent. He’s our son. He is beloved, cherished, and has a permanent place of belonging in our family. We have so many hopes, desires, and longings for him. It makes me marvel to think that our love for this dear little boy is just a small glimpse at how our heavenly Father cares for us.
In January, she wrote:
We thank Jesus every day that you are our son and that you are a part of our family. We are hopeful for your future because we know that God is good and that He has your life in His hands. No matter how many dreams we have for your future, we know that God’s plans for you are way better. We are so glad to have you here with us, and we are enjoying every moment that you are a part of this family.
Bekah speaks of waiting for test results, which shows the amazing perspective she was able to keep while going through this difficult time:
I don’t want to get trapped in the “what ifs” and “maybes” of tomorrow, so I must daily choose to fix my thoughts on [God’s] steadfast promises. I am training my thoughts to rest on that which is certain and unfaltering in the character of my Heavenly Father. It is so easy to waste these priceless moments with my two darling little boys and the wiggly little one in my tummy because of fear and worry about the future. But these days, the beauty of Jesus Christ is most dear to me through His steady, unfaltering promise that He is working all things in my life together for good (Rom 8:28). And though the process may be painful, and the mode may seem less than ideal, He has promised me His love (Rom 8:35) and He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me (Heb 13:5).
On January 22, 2013, on the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, Bekah wrote about her own experience with when the option of abortion was presented to her and how she knew she wanted her child, even if he had abnormalities:
Forty years ago today, a decision was made that did not better the quality of women’s lives across America, it made it legal to destroy millions of children’s lives. Forty years ago the decision to kill our sons and our daughter was made widely available to anyone who wanted it. Not only has this Supreme Court ruling made abortion available, but abortion is even recommended to any and all who have fears, second thoughts, or feelings that their baby’s life begun at an inopportune time. I still remember my doctor in Illinois explaining the concerns she saw on my little boy’s ultrasound just over 3 months ago. The two word that still hauntingly ring in my memory that she presented as one of our options was “termination of pregnancy.”
She made killing my son sound so simple; like getting a freckle removed, or taking antibiotics. That ruling that occurred 40 years ago has made it simple. The ruling of Roe vs. Wade has removed all hindrances and holdouts to countless mothers making the decision to terminate pregnancy. But it makes me wonder about all the precious little lives these moms have missed the privilege of meeting, loving, and watching grow old. It makes me cry to think about all the little miracles that the medical field branded “abnormal,” just like my little boy, and killed under the banner “quality of life.”
I will never cease to grieve the loss of these children. Nor will I ever cease to desire my little boy regardless of how “abnormal” he may be.
On February 12, 2013, Bekah went to the clinic to have a test redone. It was there she was told the news: her last test had been misread, no more testing was needed, and the last ultrasound showed that she had a “completely healthy baby”!
This is the point in our little boy’s story where the mercies of God are put on a massive display. It is easy to see how the Lord heard the prayers for our sweet son from so many people, and chose to bless those prayers with healing. We rejoice in the gracious gift of a healthy pregnancy and we praise God for His abundant mercies poured out on our sweet, little darling boy. But… it is very important that we do not equate the goodness of God with the healing of our beloved son. God’s goodness is not dependent on what He does for me, nor is He not good to those who do not receive such good news as we just have.
As Bekah is preparing for the birth of her son, she gives praise to God, whose comfort was there for her in her hard times:
Never before have I felt such urgency & desperation and yet such complete inability to fix something. Never before have I felt so helpless and weak and needy and desperate all at the same time. And yet, never before has God been so comforting to my broken heart, so steady in His care for me, and so evidently near. Never before have I tasted that the Lord is good (Ps 34:8), experienced joy in His mere presence (Ps. 16:11), and known the comfort of His love like I have over these past months.
Brent and Bekah could have chosen abortion to relieve themselves of what many people would consider a “problem.” But they have chosen to love their little boy, no matter how he is born. They realize that he is a blessing and are excited about him being a part of the family!