In a 1994 editorial in the Los Angeles Times, an abortionist named Dr. George Flesh wrote about how he left the abortion business. Many former abortionists and clinic workers describe an “aha moment” when they first realized abortion was wrong. For Abby Johnson, for example, it was when she saw a 13-week-old unborn baby being aborted via ultrasound. For Dr. Yvonne Moore , it was when she became pregnant herself and saw her baby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound screen. Dr. Flesh also had an experience that opened his eyes to how wrong abortion is:
“… a married couple came to me and requested an abortion. Because the patient’s cervix was rigid, I was unable to dilate it and perform the procedure. I asked her to return in a week, when the cervix would be softer.
The couple returned and told me that they had changed their minds and wanted to “keep the baby.” I delivered the baby seven months later. Years later, I played with little Jeffrey in the pool at the tennis club where his parents and I were members. He was happy and beautiful. I was horrified to think that only a technical obstacle had prevented me from terminating Jeffrey’s potential life. The connection between the six-week-old human embryo and a laughing child stopped being an abstraction for me. While hugging my sons each morning, I started to think of the vacuum aspirator that I would use two hours later.”
When he saw that the child he had almost aborted was “happy and beautiful,” he realized that all those babies that he had killed could have been “happy and beautiful” too. The connection between the unborn baby in the womb and the older child he or she would become became clear to him.
In the same editorial, Dr. Flesh described how performing abortions had taken an emotional toll on him:
“Extracting a fetus, piece by piece, was bad for my sleep. Depression clouded my office on days when I had an abortion scheduled. My pulse raced after giving the local anesthetic. Although I still felt sorry for the unmarried 20-year-old college junior, I felt increasing anger toward the married couples who requested abortions because a law firm partnership was imminent, or house remodeling was incomplete, or even because summer travel tickets were paid for.
Anxiety attacks, complete with nausea, palpitations and dizziness, began to strike me in some social situations. In public, I felt I was on trial, or perhaps should have been. I no longer was proud to be a physician. Arriving home from work to the embrace of my kids, I felt undeserving that God had blessed me with their smiling faces. The morning shave became an ordeal, as I stared at the sad face in the mirror and wondered how all those awards and diplomas had produced an Angel of death.”
In his editorial, Dr. Flesh said he was unsure whether early abortions should remain legal. However, he spoke out against later abortions:
“Tearing a developed fetus apart, limb by limb, is an act of depravity that society should not permit. We cannot afford such a devaluation of human life, nor the desensitization of medical personnel it requires. This is not based on what the fetus might feel but on what we should feel in watching an exquisite, partly formed human being being dismembered.”
He also expressed his frustration about women who take the abortion decision too lightly:
“… I am revolted when I see how casually some couples choose an abortion – for the convenience of having a baby in June instead of February, for example. I do not believe that a civilized society should encourage this.”
How does Dr. Flesh feel now that he no longer performs abortions? He says:
“Since I stopped doing abortions, my life has blossomed. I love my practice. Years of struggling with guilt have ended. A certain calm and inner peace have returned. I feel closer to God.”
Source: George Flesh “The Spiritual Cost of Abortion” Originally an Editorial in the Los Angeles Times, 1994 in Gary E McCuen Abortion Violence & Extremism (Hudson, Wisconsin: GEM Publications, 1997) 76-79