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Hypocrisy alert: pro-abortion sexist lectures pro-life men on how to treat women

As a male pro-life activist, I’ve run into my share of sexism and condescension over the years, as abortion defenders have claimed I shouldn’t have a say on the issue because I’ll never have to worry about getting pregnant.  They’ve insinuated that I’m somehow trying to control or oppress women. Though pure sophistry, it’s something any guy who wants to save babies should expect to deal with – a lot.

On Monday, at the Huffington Post, Laura Trice fumed that she’s sick of men having the nerve to express their opinion on public policy questions related to abortion and birth control. She wants us to “rewind 2-3 months before most abortions happen and look in the mirror.” She wants men to take the following actions, which she claims would lead to a 90% decrease in abortion rates within 3 months, if widely practiced:

7. Make a personal commitment today to stop looking at pornography, stop engaging prostitutes and stop visiting strip clubs.

6. Make a personal commitment today to stand against sexual violence, rape and incest.

5. If you are Christian and have strong views, read this Susan B. Anthony essay and make a commitment today to be a better type of Christian husband.

4. Make a personal commitment today not to pressure a woman for sex of any kind when she says, “No,” “I don’t feel well” or “I’m tired.”

3. Make a personal commitment today to know a woman for at least 6 months to one year before having intercourse with her.

2. Make a personal commitment today not to take advantage of any woman who has been drinking or is impaired.

1. Make a personal commitment today to stop smooth-talking and lying to women to “get in.”

(Note: these are just the individual steps; see the original column for elaboration.)

Taken on its own, that’s perfectly smart, moral advice. So how can it possibly be controversial? Because of the implication in Trice’s conclusion:

Until your circle of male influence and you adhere to these 7 steps consistently, women do not want to hear anything further from you about limiting access to birth control or abortion. Stop pointing the finger at women and focus on cleaning up your side of the street.

We’re apparently meant to believe the average man – particularly the average man objecting to abortion – isn’t already doing these things, which is as defamatory as it is absurd. Some men certainly are irresponsible, opportunistic, sex-hungry misogynists, but what reason has Trice offered to believe that pro-lifers fit that description? If anything, that’s more likely the sort of guy who either a.) doesn’t care about much in life beyond his own gratification, and is therefore unlikely to be opining about politics at all, or b.) supports abortion and contraception because he wants his sexual partners to be able to dispose of their offspring.

Further, sexual exploitation and irresponsibility are hardly the exclusive domain of males. As Live Action’s Cassy Fiano chronicled for PJ Media on March 6, there are numerous so-called feminists who openly promote “sluthood” (their word, not mine or Cassy’s) everywhere–from Feministing and Ms. Magazine to Salon and Slate. And Planned Parenthood, which most feminists and abortion supporters accept as the Patron Saints of How Real Women Think, have never been shy about promoting casual sex among minors in print and online. When can we expect Ms. Trice to take them to task?

Ultimately, though, this entire conversation is a red herring. Every pro-life man in the country could be a dog, every pro-choice woman could be a saint, and it still would do nothing to make abortion right. If human life begins at fertilization, if humanity and personhood are indistinguishable, if the unborn have souls from the very beginning of their existence, and if government’s purpose is to equally protect everyone’s inalienable right to life, then that’s the case no matter what – no matter the gender or the personal history of those on either side of the debate.

Pro-aborts have been playing the sexism card against us for far too long. But as Laura Trice has inadvertently demonstrated, it’s long past time for pro-lifers to turn the tables on the real sexists in our midst.

  • Rynn

    That is ridiculous, you aren’t sexist, those women that say you are, are. Anyone who uses the words “sexist” or “racist” when it is untrue, are those words. There are female pro-lifers, in case that lady forgotten, I guess according to her, those women are sexist against women. Such a laugh!

    And to add to that, if some women want to not have babies, then they got to place some rules upon themselves and not just on men. Such as, stop having sex with every man they see…And if they would do that, then they would have no need for birth control (unless they want to limit the amount of periods to about four a year or so, I don’t use those pills) or abortion. Simple as that.

    I understand there are pregnancies that happen because of rape, however, I still don’t see why we should punish the unborn for what the rapist did (I say rapist because not all victims is the woman…)

    • musiciangirl591

       i’ve been told that i hate my own gender… i don’t hate my own gender, i just think that women deserve better than killing their own children

      • prolifer

        Yes, women and men deserve better. You live in a free country. Some people make decisions for the wrong reasons, you can not force them to do the right thing..Very, Very sad..But it’s not your choice. They need prayer..from all of us.. to make the right choice.

        • Guest

          You can never force someone to do the right thing, but that doesn’t mean that certain choices shouldn’t be illegal in a just society.

        • musiciangirl591

           i know i can’t force them to do the right thing, its just that it pisses me off when i hear that i hate my own gender because i stand up for whats right instead of “furthering the rights of my gender”

  • musiciangirl591

     how about the man just doesn’t have sex with the woman at all and treats her with the utmost respect she deserves? i don’t see that on that list…

  • http://twitter.com/StephenIppolito Stephen Ippolito

    great article.  Also consider the idea that a man should lose the right to defend the life of his child for any reason at all.

  • http://twitter.com/StephenIppolito Stephen Ippolito

    the other problem here is the idea that it is okay for a man not to take responsibility for his actions goes a step further. Now he specifically has no responsibility.

  • http://twitter.com/StephenIppolito Stephen Ippolito

    I believe a man is most a man when he conducts himself in a way that helps a woman be a woman and a woman, is most a women when she conducts herself in a way that helps a man be a man.
     

    • prolifer

      Say that three time fast.. yes I agree.

  • http://twitter.com/MarauderTheSN Marauder

    The idea that pro-choicers would actually listen to pro-life men who adhere to all seven suggestions  is ludicrous. It’s like the thing with, “How many children have YOU adopted?” – if someone actually has adopted a child, it never makes a difference to them. Back in the 80s, they didn’t say, “Hey, you guys, Ronald Reagan has an adopted son – maybe we should listen to him when he opposes abortion.” They didn’t decide to listen to John McCain in 2008 because he has an adopted daughter. A pro-lifer could have as many adopted kids as Mia Farrow and Brangelina combined and pro-choicers still wouldn’t care. There may be a few pro-choicers who would listen to men who fulfilled all of these seven suggestions, but the majority of them wouldn’t care in the slightest. Heck, they’d probably use that fact to say, “Well, not everyone is as perfect as you – you just don’t understand the reality of women’s lives.”

    • http://twitter.com/CalFreiburger Calvin Freiburger

      Great comment.

    • http://twitter.com/CalFreiburger Calvin Freiburger

      Great comment.

  • Richard Phillips

    I have to say, those words “mysoginist” and “sexist” have lost a lot of their meaning in my household. I am the ONLY man in a house of: my wife, my 3 daughters, my mother in law and my grandmother in law and we are all pretty equal within that environment. There have always been and will always be differences between men and women, but to suggest that all men are sexist is absurd.

    One of the points I would like to pick up on especially, is that actually there are a significant number of women who certainly would not wait 6 months to a year to have sex; they would go elsewhere in that case. Double standards or just setting up men with targets they know that most women wouldnt adhere to themselves (ESPECIALLY on the back of the “sexual liberation” mandate that most feminists follow).

    My daughters, wife and mother in law were furious with a young, foolish prochoicer on saturday last when I comitted the heinous crime of accepting a leaflet from one of the guys from the 40daysforlife team in London.
    But you know something? They actually did everyone there a favour. It seems that their movement is its own worst enemy because for years my wife, myself and our friends have been meek, mild mannered people who would never usually consider getting onboard a political “cause”, but seeing what is at stake and the sort of people arguing FOR some exceptionally unhealthy things has brought it home to us that we have to stand up for what we believe in.

    Prochoice movement is pretty much doomed to failure: it attacks the very people it is trying to “recruit” and there is only so much abuse and criticism that people from ANY walk of life will take before they bite back.

  • Margot Touitou

    Great article, Calvin. I commend you for being a strong male in the pro-life movement. This article is informative and very well written!

    • http://twitter.com/CalFreiburger Calvin Freiburger

      Thank you so much!

  • Shelly200

    These same women who rail on men saying they have no say in abortion or birth control matters are the SAME women who demand that men pay child support if the woman chooses to keep her baby (or demand the man pay for the abortion that he had no say in)… but, if it’s “your” body and “your” choice, and the man has ZERO say, then shouldn’t it be YOUR money that pays for your decision?

    Pro-choicers are so full of hypocrisy it’s baffling.

  • MoonChild02

    I kind of agree with Ms. Trice – to a point. Not about telling men to shut up and not debate or legislate pro-life ideas, but about the fact that, many times, men are to blame for abortion. Most women are forced or coerced into abortion. Most women get abortions because they aren’t supported by anyone, including the men who helped them create the life they’re carrying.
    http://www.theunchoice.org/

    Not that there aren’t men that are supportive, caring, and pro-life, because men like that do exist. It’s just that there are a lot of men who think that they can get away with what they do because abortion is legal.

    I think that men do need to start taking responsibility for their actions, and start being supportive of women. That may be the key to ending abortion. We’ve gone from women being responsible and standing up for themselves, right back to women’s enslavement, all because the majority of men refuse to be responsible. So many women think that they have to be easy, to show off, etc. just to get the attention of men, and then “fix” any “problem” that might end a relationship, and that’s not right.

    I think she also may be just lumping pro-life men in with those who aren’t, meaning the ones who do take advantage of women and force women into abortions. To them, all men are the same, because they haven’t been shown the respect they deserve from the male population. It’s time for you pro-life guys to start setting an example, to speak out against the abusive treatment against women, and promote real love and respect. A few great places to start would be Bl. Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body and Love and Responsibility, as well as Jason and Christina Evert’s Pure Love. Also, anything on the Feminists for Life website: http://feministsforlife.org/

    Ms. Trice may also be misconstruing the words of our feminist fore-mothers, who wanted men to change their behaviors, not stop speaking out:

    “Guilty? Yes. No
    matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering
    the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed.
    It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death;
    But oh, thrice guilty is he who drove her to the desperation which impelled
    her to the crime!” – Susan B. Anthony

    “[This] subject
    lies deeper down in woman’s wrongs than any other…I hesitate not to
    assert that most of [the responsibility for] this crime lies at the
    door of the male sex.” – Matilda Gage

    “When a man steals to satisfy
    hunger, we may safely conclude that there is something wrong in society
    – so when a woman destroys the life of her unborn child, it is an evidence
    that either by education or circumstances she has been greatly wronged.” – Mattie Brinkerhoff

  • Ducats69376

    Everyone read the thread between Ducats and this author under the article:
    “Wisconsin Pulls the Plug on Webcam Abortions”.We all want to know why the question is still not answered.

    • http://twitter.com/CalFreiburger Calvin Freiburger

      Your obsession is getting dangerously close to self-parody territory. I stuck with that argument for over 200 comments. I didn’t dodge anything. You were caught being disingenuous. Grow up and deal with it.

      • Ducats69376

        Hey Calvin.  Glad to see you haven’t changed.  I avoid this horrible site but I thought I’d take a peek.

        I don’t want to put words in your mouth but I will for fun.  Your advice to the gay employee would be to tell the boss.  Suggesting not to tell would contradict everything you’ve said, so I think I’ve made the right call.

        If he tells his bigoted boss, said boss is allowed, under Blunt, to claim religious liberty and not approve the drug.  This is a bill you endorse.  You’ve read it, you know this qualifies.

        Incidentally, if you suggest not telling, the boss can withhold anyway.  Either suggestion would have the same affect.

        Backers of bills have an obligation to explore their consequences.  That’s what we’re doing.

        Looks like our gay employee needs some more advice.  Are you man enough?