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Published: March 15, 2012 3:03 am to Opinion Column

It’s true, abortion affects everyone

The pro-choice factions would like us to believe that abortion is all about the woman. The “It’s My Body” party line has been shoved down our throats for years now, and the notion that fathers should have a say in whether or not their child is aborted is simply preposterous to them. But the reach of abortion’s sinister arm goes much further than the woman. It affects each of us.

No one likes to believe that every decision we make affects other people. But it’s true. From the most minuscule choice of skipping work to the giant decision of who we marry, our choices have consequences for people other than us.  Abortion included. Abortion doesn’t just end the life of a woman’s child. It takes the life of someone’s cousin, someone’s grandchild, someone’s best friend, someone’s spouse, someone’s mother. It wipes out generations that could have been, that should have been. While “potential person”, the new favorite pro-choice term for fetus, is taking over the sound waves, a fetus is in all actuality and scientific detail really a “person with potential”.

Each unborn is a live human being. Each has the potential to change the world, no matter what her circumstances.  Each unborn has a right to fulfill her destiny, whether it be to cure cancer, to become a mother, to be someone’s wife. Think about your own spouse, your own best friend. Everyone close to you could have been lost through abortion. How different your life would be. Yet each day, thousands of soulmates and best friends are murdered at the hands of their mothers. They are denied the opportunity to love, to learn, to laugh, and to leave their mark on this world.

Valerie Tarico

I recently read an older blog on The Huffington Post called, My Abortion Baby. The author, Valerie Tarico, admits that her wonderful daughter wouldn’t exist if she hadn’t aborted her first child, whom she wanted but whom may have had “possible blindness and brain lesions” due to acute toxoplasmosis. She writes of her and her husband’s decision, “We both wanted a baby. But it also felt irresponsible to gamble. Not only would we would be taking a chance on the quality of life of our first child, but potentially committing any future children to a life of caretaking that they had no option to choose or reject. We would be risking our own ability to give to the community around us – and possibly creating a situation in which our family needed to suck more out of society than we could put back into it. As painful as the decision felt, our moral values were clear, and we scheduled to terminate the pregnancy.”

She says their morals were clear. What’s clear is that she put everything above the life of her child, who was not guaranteed to be anything but normal. She put community and her future children first, even saying that it wouldn’t be fair to them that they may have to care for a sibling in 30 years. Instead of allowing her future children to make that decision, she took their choice and sibling away because that child ran the risk of not being perfect.

She says, “Instead of a child who spends a (short or long) lifetime struggling to be and do the things we cherish most, we have a daughter who is loving and generous and playful and strong and way smarter and more disciplined than her mama will ever be.” Will her daughter have survivor’s guilt? Perhaps. But no matter what, what she and her husband did was to take a precious baby away from a grandmother who was already suffering the loss of her husband. They took a sibling away from future children, and they denied the life of any child they would have conceived had they continued with the first pregnancy. They deprived themselves the opportunity to know and love their first child, whom, disabilities or not, would have brought them immeasurable joy. They changed everything.

Unborn humans are persons with the potential to do anything with their lives, if only they are given the chance. Abortion survivors know this first hand, including Melissa Ohden, who looks at her children and knows that they wouldn’t exist if her mother’s attempt to abort her hadn’t failed. On her site there is this quote: “One decision, one single moment, can have such a detrimental impact on so many people, living and dead, born and yet to be conceived.”

About Nancy Flanders

Nancy is a work at home mom who writes about parenting, special needs children, and the right to life. She is the lucky mother of three spirited little girls, one who has cystic fibrosis, and she spends any free moment she can find fundraising for a cure for CF. You can read her personal blog at www.ChronicAdmissions.com.
View all posts by Nancy Flanders

  • bubbalouwee

    Excellent article, Nancy!  I love how you cherish life regardless of circumstances and explain the magnitude that our choices have on the lives of others.  It really makes you think about the importance of prayer, something the Blessed Virgin Mary has repeatedly requested, especially the Rosary.

  • Shelly200

    Another great article! I hate the phrase “quality of life” as if life is only worth living if it has “quality”… whatever that means to each individual. And who is Valerie Tarico to determine what someone else’s “quality of life” will be? Who is she to say that her child wouldn’t have loved his/her life, even with a disability? Valerie Tarico was obviously more worried about her own “quality of life” than she was about her child’s.

  • sagarr

    Outstanding article! I like how you said the unborn are not “potential persons,” but “persons with potential.” I strongly believe that abortion effects everybody. It effects my family because my mom unfortunately aborted one of our siblings (giving into the big “clump of cells lie”). Our family would be completely different if he/she was here today, and perhaps they would have a family now. Abortion is so heartbreaking for everyone. I wish my sibling would be here today. I can’t help but think sometimes that my oldest sister might not have gotten into the trouble she did, which led to her death, if my other sibling would have been here. That maybe my oldest sister wouldn’t have felt so alone.

  • Sklst1

    My mother had a abortion, I never found out until I got pregnant when I was 15 and my aunt started to try to say me having a abortion would be the best thing. (To give some background history I was raised by my grandparents and neither parent was part of my life, mom would visit every once and awhile but drugs were more important.) But that day she took me into my aunts to talk about my choices, as soon as my aunt started to say they just remove the blob of tissue blah blah.. my mom broke out in tears and she said “there is no way in the world you are having a abortion, I wont let it ruin you.” And she cried and cried and told me about how she had a abortion with my older sibling. I felt so strange I wasnt even sure what a abortion was and I had no idea how early life begins. She told me about thats when she started using drugs like crack and angel dust and so on and why she could never be a mother to me and she feels so horrible about killing her baby and cries everyday. She is also on ssi bc she is so mentally ill after the abortion. I did keep my baby and she has made my life so great, I dont encourage teenage pregnancy but without my daughter I wouldnt be in college or working so hard to have a better life and I wouldnt be as happy as i am. But to get back to my point after I did research and had my first sonogram it hit me and I cried and cried. I wouldve have a older sibling and a mother but abortion took that both away from me, it took away the chance of me having a normal childhood. She said she thought about aborting me but couldnt put herself through that again but it wouldve been me if it wasnt for my older sibling. They were killed and I got the chance to live. Bc they lost their life, I was able to live mine. Ive tried to find ways to cope but this is the first article ive found that even says anything about abortion effects more than just the woman. Thank you for writing this, I guess what I have is survivor’s guilt….

  • LAPEL85

    I’m so thankful for this article, Nancy! For me it is one of healing. Both my aunt and my niece have had abortions. My family of origin does not like to talk about it, so the topic was “swept under the rug”. It is heartbreaking for me, the youngest child in my family (who always dreamed of having a younger sibling vs. dolls to play with) to know that my mother was happily willing to adopt my aunt’s child had she kept the baby, and that my husband and I would’ve happily adopted my niece’s baby, especially because of my medical condition that makes conceiving future children very challenging. God bless you!

  • rebeccarose7

    Thank you for this great opinion article! What you write here is a major reason why I am pro-life, and what I wish more pro-choice people would be able to understand. I also really want to use this argument in discussing why I am/we are pro-life with my boyfriend who I helped to become a pro-life convert. So thank you for writing this and allowing me to bring this up hopefully as a pro-life conversation starter! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1379946180 Ryan Hunter

    You put it perfectly Nancy! “Abortion doesn’t just end the life of a woman’s child. It takes the life of someone’s cousin, someone’s grandchild, someone’s best friend, someone’s spouse, someone’s mother. It wipes out generations that could have been, that should have been.” It’s murder, plain and simple. This is why I am pro-life. The law currently does not recognize men as having any protective rights over their unborn child. Would-be-fathers are helpless before the law to prevent their girlfriend from aborting their unborn child. My girlfriend, leader of a pro-life student group when she was in high school, has helped me solidify my views in this area, and although I am studying abroad in Scotland this term, I so look forward to going to the March for Life with her next year. Our spiritual father, Metropolitan +Jonah of the Orthodox Church in America, gave the invocation this year at the request of Catholic Archbishop (and newly made Cardinal) Timothy Dolan. I was horrified at the media’s utter lack of coverage of the March, and she made me aware of how this was nothing new, but a theme of longstanding media bias, that an event with anywhere from a quarter to half a million participants could somehow be deemed “not newsworthy”. Gradually, my generation is becoming more and more pro-life. We will slowly work to create that respectful culture of life, where women are not driven to the desperation of autonomously seeking abortion, but are revered as potential mothers with communities and support groups to help them through pregnancy and in raising the child.