022813-octomom-splash-1

Kristen’s Krazy Pop Kulture Round-Up!

Sometimes there’s a lot going on, so I shove a bunch of stuff into one blog. It’s not because I don’t care. It’s just because I’m lazy. Here we go:

Ashley

1. Pro-abortion actress/fauxminist/crazy person Ashley Judd is running for Senate! That’s right, Ashley “I Cry about Wolf Puppies but Babies Not So Much” Judd is challenging Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) for his Senate seat.

Before you start to get too worried, even Democrats are kind of skeptical at the Juddster’s political pipe dreams.

Hey, Ash – do you mind if I call you Ash? – just because you have an advanced degree in Shamanic Feminist Yoga Studies and go on TV talking about how sad it is that women are judged for their bodies (after appearing in multiple films and magazines with your tatas clearly showing) doesn’t mean you have the chops to represent a state in the U.S. Senate.

Wait a minute – I just thought about Congress. I take it all back. Ash, you belong there. You go, Juddster.

A Planned Parenthood training class.
A Planned Parenthood training class.

2. Have you seen the “Abortion Battles” YouTube video?

Some kids at Hunter College in New York apparently ran out of pot and decided to make up a fun little game. They put balloons under their shirts to look like pregnant women and battled with plastic knives to see who could stab and kill the other’s “fetus.”

The video is disturbing to pro-lifers because it shows how desensitized young people have become to abortion. I, for one, think it’s pretty dumb and gross, but what really trips me out are the anti-lifers who are rushing to object to it, to show how “sensitive” they are. They’re making comments about how they “support a woman’s right to choose,” but what the kids are doing in the video is insensitive and disgusting.

You know what? I am fine with legalized balloon-stabbing. It doesn’t bother me. Stab balloons all day long. It’s the fetus-murdering I find insensitive and disgusting.

Hearing people defend the murder of unborn children while condemning the popping of balloons that represent unborn children makes my head kind of want to explode like an over-inflated fetus balloon.

"You know what, I think I'm gonna pass on the sonogram."
“You know what? I think I’m gonna pass on the sonogram.”

3. So I finally saw Prometheus on DVD and I was pro-choice for about five minutes.

Have you seen it? It’s a Ridley Scott movie (the Alien guy), and it’s disturbing and insane. I don’t want to give too much away, but suffice it to say someone is “pregnant” with alien spawn and needs to get it out.

And we’re not talking about cuddly, half-human, green-skinned alien spawn. We’re talking about, basically, a squid. A murderous squid. That is growing at an alarming rate and clawing its way out of a lady. I was yelling, “GET IT OUT!” And later I amused my husband when I pretended to tearfully recant my pro-choice view, and said, “It’s a squid, not a choice.”

I took a cinema theory class in college with a gal who wrote about abortion and pregnancy imagery in the Alien movies. The subtitle of her paper was “The Fetus As Alien Invader.” You think I’m making this up, but I’m totally not. She thought she was really clever, and so did the professor.

Pray for our schools, you guys.

022813-octomom-splash-1
You’re really hard to defend sometimes, lady.

4. Octomom is in the news again. Remember her? Nadya Suleman turned her uterus into a clown car when she purposely got pregnant with octuplets – after already having six kids. Oh, and she was single.

But don’t worry; she’s partying for 15. TMZ has Octomom on video drunk in a hotel room, and supposedly she has a medical marijuana card and smokes weed. Oh, and maybe there’s Xanax involved.

Look, I’m not condoning caring for your kids while blitzed, but to be honest, I’m a little defensive of Octomom, and it’s not because I think she makes good life decisions, or because I know for a fact she’s a great mom. Let’s face it: she probably isn’t.

I’m defensive because if she had had eight embryos (or three or five or whatever) implanted in her uterus and decided to abort all but one or two, no one would have cared. They would have called that the “responsible” decision.

Nadya Suleman may not be a perfect mom, but at least all her babies are alive. This is a hot mess of a lady, and she has 14 children. The fact that she had them to get famous doesn’t change the fact that they’re children and she’s their mother. Maybe instead of leaving horrible internet comments about how she should be forcibly sterilized, we should remember that  just like any struggling mother, including the abortion-minded pregnant woman, she doesn’t need judgment or ridicule. She needs help.

So here’s my first attempt at help: Octomom, don’t let people take videos of you drunk in a hotel room in a onesie. Seriously. Help us help you.

  • http://twitter.com/Astraspider Astraspider

    Wow, very hot pic of Ms. Judd you found there. Point of clarification, though. She has a Master’s in public administration from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard. Not She-Goddess Latte Sipping or whatever.

    Speaking of my home state, posing nude didn’t seem to hurt Scott Brown very much at all. Well, until last year. But that really had nothing to do with his relative sexiness.

  • Kimberly Wedel

    Well if former Playboy playmate Jenny McCarthy can encourage millions of moms to endanger the lives of their children by not getting them vaccinated then this B-movie has-been can run for Senate. The love information voters will eat it up. Must be an old picture you found. This puffy washed up hag hasn’t been picture worthy for a decade.

  • Awesummjustawesumm

    I love you! I really, really love you!

  • Bridget

    The octo-mom is really selfish. She’s doing it all in the name of fame.

  • http://suckalemonanddie.com/ TheHookahMaster

    Ugh. Moving on…