A mother, upset about her daughter’s abortion, turned to Dear Abby for help. Dear Abby doesn’t seem to get it.
The woman, calling herself “Tortured in the South,” considers herself pro-life despite the fact that she thinks abortion is acceptable in cases of rape and incest. She supported her 22-year-old daughter’s decision to abort her baby, and since then, she has been depressed.
Abby, I have taken this really hard. I have cried every day since she had the abortion, and I’m torturing myself thinking this is my fault because I went against everything I believe in when I supported her in her decision. Why am I beating myself up about this? Is it because she’s my daughter, because I am pro-life or both? How can I stop blaming myself for her decision?
First of all, it is as much Tortured’s fault as it is her daughter’s. Her daughter turned to her for help. Instead of actually supporting her daughter, by reassuring her and letting her know she would be there for her financially and to help care for the baby, she “supported” her daughter’s decision to kill her child.
Second, she is beating herself up because she is pro-life and knows that the phrase “termination of a pregnancy” is code of “murder of a baby.” But that knowledge alone isn’t the reason for the woman’s torment. Coupled with that knowledge is the understanding that this baby was her grandchild, and she allowed pain and death to come to that grandchild. She denied her grandchild life, denied her daughter the joy and love of being a mother to that child, and denied herself the joy and love of being a grandmother to that child. It is a tragedy, and so she grieves.
However, Tortured did what society tells us to do, and it’s what Dear Abby says is the right thing to do, despite the woman’s regret and pain. Society tells us we must support other people in their decisions, even when we know those decisions not only are wrong, but will bring that person pain and suffering. Dear Abby writes:
The decision about whether or not to terminate the pregnancy wasn’t yours to make; it was your daughter’s. Being pro-life, you have your own convictions, but you acted as a loving parent should — you supported your child. If you feel you could benefit from counseling to help you through this, ask your doctor for a referral.
Way to help, Abby. This cold response is a perfect example of how our world responds to abortion. As a society, we have shut ourselves off from the emotion of abortion because it is so painful. We have closed ourselves off to the truth because we don’t want to see it. Would we support our children’s decision to beat their own children, to kill themselves with drugs, to kill a family member? No.
Abortion is supposed to be easy, according to the pro-abortion side. It is supposed to be liberating. It is supposed to bring a sigh of relief to those who experience it. Instead, it leaves people tortured for the rest of their lives.
Dear Abby did nothing to help Tortured. All she did was brush off the woman’s emotions and send her back into the world. The same thing that abortion providers do to their patients. After all, it’s just a procedure, right?