Opinion

Not ready to be a mom? You can help someone else who is.

child

(Note: I’d like to thank the ladies who were nice enough to share their stories with me.)

So, you’ve just discovered that you’re pregnant; this could be cause for joyous celebration or fear and apprehension. If your baby’s father is less than enthused, then it’s probably going to be the latter. That’s particularly true if he immediately transforms from a supportive, apparently responsible man into a weepy mess who, between sobs, implores you to have an abortion. Your feelings are unlikely to improve much when, after you refuse, he declares that he will play no role in the raising of his child and then seems to disappear into the Witness Protection Program.

Now, you might have already decided that you’re just not up to the job of being a single mom. If so, then you’re probably not alone, as there’s a good chance that some of the other people in your life have reached the same conclusion about you. Don’t be surprised if one of them announces in a concerned but firm sounding tone that “every baby should be wanted.” This is supposedly a nice way of  implying that your son or daughter is unwanted and should therefore be killed.

By this point, you may be feeling an urge to respond with felonious violence. The urge should be resisted. Instead, a better option is to start by pointing out how the concept of killing unwanted people has been applied before, and that the results haven’t been edifying. Thus, the idea of paying to have your offspring sucked down a tube or pulled apart with a set of forceps carries limited appeal.

Next, you can explain that your baby actually is wanted. Badly. So badly in fact that there are couples competing for the chance to welcome your boy or girl into their life. Emphasize that the birth of your daughter or son is going to be held up as literal answer to prayer because there are plenty of people who desperately want to raise this child. You just don’t happen to be one of them.

Currently, there’s a shortage of adoptable infants in America. As a result, many loving couples have turned to websites like Adoptimist  and ParentProfiles  as a way to connect with women carrying unexpected children. Earlier this year, Live Action author Nancy Flanders wrote about Angela and Matt Bernier, a pair from Northern Virginia who’ve done just that. Having already adopted a son, Kyle, they’re hoping to welcome a second child into their lives as well. Angela and Matt can be contacted online or toll free at 1-888-620-2025.

The Berniers named their son after his biological mother, Kylie–a woman they continue to have a meaningful relationship with. Kylie pursued what’s known as an “open adoption”: an arrangement in which the birth mom is known to the couple and possibly to the child as well. Other women prefer a “closed adoption,” where their identity is kept secret. Whatever your preference, the scarcity of available babies means that there’s no no shortage of choices.

Pro-abortion groups like the United Church of Canada talk about “a moral responsibility not to bring an unwanted child into the world.” What they don’t seem to understand is that babies are wanted, with long lines of couples waiting to help the women who are carrying them.

It’s certainly true that adoption isn’t the best choice for everyone. However, if you love a child that you’re just not ready to raise, then it could be the choice for you.

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