Opinion

One year later: teen birth parents who chose adoption

Tissue paper was flying as the birthday girl opened her gifts. She would pull each present out, inspect it quickly, and then toss it to the side because the gift bag always looked way more fun. Abby was the star of the party, and every move she made, her family and close friends would watch in awe. We would all follow her around on the little trails she would decide to go on and giggle every time she did something cute (which was the entire time).

I think the entire party I was either laughing or crying. There was so much love for this baby, you could just feel it. Even though Abby was only celebrating her first birthday, her life already has impacted many.

Most of you have read or heard the story of “Jayd.” She was a sweet girl that I had the honor to walk through a season of pregnancy at 16, who made the brave decision of choosing adoption. (If you haven’t read it, I suggest you read here. ) She had baby Abby last May, and her life changed forever.

I want to introduce you to the face and the real name behind “Jayd.” Her name is Jordyn, and she is still my hero.

Jordyn decided that after one year, she was ready to reveal her true identity. Along with this reveal, Abby’s birth father and Jordyn’s boyfriend Josh would like his story to be heard (watch for his blog post at the Embrace Grace Blog). He has been there with Jordyn from the dedication ceremony, at every visit with Abby, to the 1st birthday celebration. His life changed drastically this past year, and he is excited to share his part of the journey.

Through this journey, Josh’s and Jordyn’s relationship has only strengthened. They have had each other to lean on in moments of mixed emotions. They both have grown closer to God and more confident in who they are. They are starting to see the impact on lives by sharing their story with others.

For Jordyn, this year has had its ups and downs of emotions. She gets to see Abby every other month, and it is her favorite thing to look forward to. She still rests confidently in her decision to choose adoption, even on the hard days when her heart misses Abby so much. She just looks at her face and sees how happy she is with her adoptive family. She is being raised in such a great family and is loved by so many.

As I sat watching baby Abby opening her gifts while her adoptive mom, birth mom, and birth dad sat next to her helping her, it just made me wonder: if girls who wanted to pursue an abortion knew that this could be an option, would they be more willing to save their babies’ lives?

When a brave pregnant girl chooses adoption, there are usually 3 choices: open, semi-open, or closed. But what if there is another choice?

The only story of adoption in the Bible is the story of baby Moses. His mom had to let him go so he could live. And even after letting her baby go, God still allowed her to have an integral role in her child’s life. Later in life, he knew who his birth mom was and loved her.

So what if there were another adoption option? An option that had more strategic visits and connections that strengthened the bond between birth mom and child? Sure, there would need to be structure and rules made to enforce the protection of the adoptive mom, and this option isn’t for everyone…but I’ve seen firsthand how that with the right adoptive family and the right birth mom and dad, it could be a relationship that is life-changing for everyone.

We will post frequent updates on Josh and Jordyn and how their lives unfold. God has such great plans for the both of them. They want to be a light and voice for the unborn and to bring awareness to adoption.

Josh has frequent postings on the Embrace Grace Blog, where he writes about his journey of being an 18-year-old guy finding out that he got his girlfriend pregnant, and his emotions as they chose life for their baby, all the way into choosing the perfect family to raise Abby. I am so proud of Jordyn and Josh for using their voices to raise awareness that adoption is always an option.

Even when it’s not easy, the reward is great.

 

Josh (birth dad), Tanya (adoptive mom), sweet baby Abby, and Jordyn (birth mom)

Photos taken by Rachel Kevil

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published at the Embrace Grace Blog on June 11, 2012 and is reprinted with permission.

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  • Stoneybrooke

    Thanks for sharing such a positive story; it certainly should be inspiring. :-) And what a cute baby!

  • Maria

    Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou . . . for posting this!  As the adoptive momma of I think your first girl that chose adoption (March 2010) . . . I am in tears reading this :-)  We are so awesomely blessed!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michelle-M-Williams/1021964754 Michelle M. Williams

    Every adopted person I know is pro choice.

    • mythought

      And the adopted people I know are pro-life.  Can you attempt to not make negative comments on a post that is celebrating the brave choice of two teenagers to give their baby a chance at life?

    • –gmg

       and your point is…?  How many adopted persons do you know?  How many are at an age to be able to choose pro-life or pro-choice?  Statistically, they are a minority, but in certain communities, certain trends do present themselves.  However, it is not the norm.

  • Paulo Mendonça

    Wanna stop the criminalization of abortion on the world? So please give a LIKE on brazillian’s movement on facebook in favor of abortion’s legalization, it will only take 5 seconds.
    The link is: facebook.com/abortoeumdireito
    Obrigado, my friends!  

  • Lena

    I think the key word in your header is “chose”. Young women today are less likely to be coerced into adoption, or subject to the horrors young women of previous decades were met with. Even so, there are young women who’ve been tricked into “open” adoptions, believing they would have a role in their child’s life, only to find the family cut them out immediately after the adoptions were finalized. Also, there are still crisis pregnancy centers that are exerting undue coercion on young women to put their babies up for adoption. We’re looking into one in Texas right now, as a matter of fact, that has come under scrutiny for funneling young women who come to them for crisis pregnancy services into their adoption agency.

    • mythought

      While we can always find bad people in any good effort, adoption is an overall good thing for our society.  Young women need to have the information on adoption; they need to know that it offers many more options than it did decades ago.  They can choose the exact parents for their child, and the majority of adoptions stay exactly as they were created – closed if the mother/birth parents wanted that and open if that’s what was chosen.  Just because there are a few bad people involved in something good doesn’t make it bad.  Let’s not throw out the baby with the bath water =)