In the movie Away We Go, Maggie Gyllenhaal plays the ultimate crunchy mom. Her friends buy her a stroller, and she hates it so much she can't look at it and makes them leave it on the porch.

Pro-abortion “crunchy moms”: An anti-life subculture that will make your head explode

In the movie Away We Go, Maggie Gyllenhaal plays the ultimate crunchy mom. Her friends buy her a stroller, and she hates it so much she can't look at it and makes them leave it on the porch.
In the movie Away We Go, Maggie Gyllenhaal plays the ultimate crunchy mom. Her friends buy her a stroller, and she hates it so much she can’t look at it and makes them leave it on the porch.

If you are against abortion, you are expected to take all sorts of other positions that have nothing to do with abortion, or risk being called a hypocrite. You’re supposed to be against capital punishment, a total pacifist who abhors firearms and violence of any kind. You’re supposed to want a welfare state, or you don’t care about women and children.

But the hypocrisy of abortion advocates will blow your McMind.

Let me take you on a journey into the heart of crazy: I had surgery last week to make my ovaries less problematic. As I’ve mentioned, my husband and I are trying to conceive, and we’re going to need at least a little help from big, bad Western medicine to make that happen. I have a condition called polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS, which is the leading cause of infertility in women. It’s also very treatable, but treatment isn’t always successful.

In other words, it kinda sucks. So while I was recovering from surgery, I joined an online support group. I don’t post much so far, but I read a lot. It helps to know that other women are going through the same things.

But as is often the case with internet forums, people sometimes get off on a tangent about various aspects of pregnancy, birth, and parenting, and even, occasionally, abortion. And some of those people make me want to throw my computer across the room.

On this particular thread in which the issue of abortion came up, the women who were the most fervently pro-choice were the ones who are also strictly and vocally anti-bottle, anti-epidural, and anti-hospital birth.

Unless you have read blogs or participated in forums where people talk about “mommy” stuff, you wouldn’t believe how cruel women can be to each other. There were three women in particular on this forum who jump on any chance to insinuate that a mother who didn’t have a natural home birth, practice “attachment parenting,” and breastfeed exclusively was basically guilty of child abuse. “It honestly makes me question how much love a mother has for her baby,” said one of these women in a post about sleep-training that made my brain hurt.

That’s right, ladies: if you train your baby to sleep alone on a schedule, it’s not because you are going to punch yourself if you don’t get some sleep. It’s because you don’t love your baby. Boom. Bet you didn’t know that.

These same three women were the most vocally pro-choice on the thread that turned to the issue of abortion. See, they are from a place called Crazy Land, where feeding your baby with a bottle is child abuse, but killing your baby before she’s born is “a woman’s choice.”

And it’s not just these three. I had a friend years ago who had an  abortion because she’d decided she didn’t love her husband and therefore didn’t want his babies. But her older daughter from a previous relationship had been breastfed, and she felt that anyone who didn’t breastfeed didn’t truly love her child.

Double u. Tee. Eff.

I have one or two acquaintances who are seriously earnest “crunchy moms.” They believe in baby-wearing. They believe that not only “breast is best,” but breast is essential. They believe in co-sleeping, organic homemade baby food, eating their own placentas, cloth diapers, and all-natural, drug-free, midwife-and-doula-assisted at-home water-hypno-birth. Formula is evil, Gerber is evil, epidurals are really evil, vaccines are maybe the devil…

And abortion is fine.

Of course, not all “crunchy moms” are pro-choice. Some of them are great, super-cool pro-life people. In fact, I think things like breastfeeding and cloth diapering and baby-wearing are fantastic. But the women who are both anti-choice about certain aspects of parenting and totally pro-choice on abortion… How does that work?

If you want to give birth in a tub in front of your fireplace with your vegan boyfriend cradling you and your priestess waving burning sage around and your doula reciting Sylvia Plath poems, get after it, girl. But how are you gonna give people dirty looks for feeding their baby with a bottle (I have seen this; head-shaking and eye-rolling included) because they obviously don’t care about their baby, and then turn around and support the right of any mother anywhere to kill her baby before it’s born for any reason whatsoever?

Epidurals, formula feeding, sleep-training: these are all choices that many women make for their babies for various reasons. They are most decidedly not forms of child abuse.

Abortion, on the other hand, is the ultimate form of child abuse.

Sometimes I get the feeling I live in Bizarro World. I’m supposed to be pro-choice on abortion but have nothing but disdain for baby formula. I’m supposed to feel that the partial-birth abortion ban is dangerous anti-woman legislation but cry at the Sarah McLachlan commercial with the wounded puppies.

I’m supposed to believe in a woman’s right to choose any grisly fate for her baby before it’s born, but not in a woman’s right to choose how to feed her own baby after it’s born?

Somebody beam me up.

  • peach

    I don’t think being a crunchy mom and being pro-choice have to be mutually exclusive. But I do agree that it’s crazy to see these women attacking other women for the choices they make as mothers. That’s what I find hypocritical; that they respect a woman’s right to choose only until they have the baby and then they enforce the “natural or you’re a monster” way.

  • Daisy

    Great post. I live in a super liberal city and too feel like I live in bizarro world! Thanks for pointing out the truth! I love animals and believe in caring for them with love and respect – but here animals are pretty much worshipped and unborn children? Nah.

  • Christian Mama

    Peach you missed it…point: Mom’s that try to enforce their child care beliefs on others are doing it ‘for the good of the baby’ but yet they are A-OK with KILLING a child before they are born.

    Do you see the irony now?

    • amycas

      I see irony in that they are fine with women being allowed to control their bodies before a baby is born, but they’re not fine with allowing women to control their own bodies (i.e. breastfeeding) after the baby is born.

  • wrightstate05

    Thank you for putting so many of my own thoughts into words. I understand how crazy you feel reading these women’s ridiculous hypocrisies and wanting to throw your hands up and scream, “What?! How do you not understand?! This is ludicrous!!” It can feel like you’re all alone in fighting the good fight, but many of us are right there with you. As a new mother myself, I have embraced many natural methods for my baby, and I’m also the biggest supporter of Life, from the very moment of conception. While I rarely post my thoughts and feelings, I read a lot of articles, and I, along with thousands of other women, support your efforts and encourage you to keep on writing and making our voices heard. We must speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

  • In a word, it is called “overcompensation.” Such a delightful article, considering the subject matter. I will definitely share this one.

  • Elizabeth Shearer

    All of the crunchy granola moms I’ve ever known are pro-life. With 8 kids pro-life…and they happen to be wonderful moms. I believe my head would have imploded already if I ever had met a crunchy mom who had the audacity to also be vehemently pro-abortion. I guess in some strange psycho way it could be how they justify being pro-choice. Something like, “The best for the baby…or death for the baby.” But no. That makes no sense either.

  • Fruitful Harvest

    Great article! I see that all the time in the circles I run in. I am Pro-Life 100% and granola for the most part…….but NOT to the enths degree. I get discriminated against for my strong PRO-LIFE views.

  • VanTed

    I’ve never understood this myself! I am so happy that someone was able to articulate what I have been thinking for a long time. I certainly have tried to bring it to light but always sound like I am picking on the poor “hippies”. Okay, so maybe I am, but let me tell you, as a mother to 7 children, 6 bottle fed and number 7 still breastfeeding AND still sleeping in my bed……I believe I have created a monster! lol I commend mothers who want to do things naturally and wear their babies, but I prefer the more traditional method of parenting now that I have experienced both. I love the bond that breastfeeding brings but let me tell you……this bond has become literal since I have a stage five boob clinger at this point! lol Went on a tangent there, sorry.

    • Uh, breastfeeding IS the traditonal method of parenting.

      • VanTed

        Lol I should have clarified. I meant I prefer the baby sleeps in their own bed and isn’t hanging from mom’s back on a sling (baby wearing) vs what the crunchy moms prefer to do. Currently, the ladder is making me lose my mind, and OBVIOUSLY not thinking clearly ;)

        • Haha – I actually meant to come back and add more encouragement. It IS difficult and challenging, but I think it is worth it. We cosleep and I do also babywear sometime. But it’s not the only way to parent and bond with a child either.

          • VanTed

            The encouragement is so needed……I’M EXHAUSTED!! lol

    • atozmom

      I had five children and wanted DESPERATELY to breastfeed each for at least a year. But I had, in retrospect from doctors, post-partum depression all five times but it was never diagnosed. For some women this can seriously interfere with milk production. I never had enough milk. I did end up using a supplementer for a year with my last one but he needed mostly formula. Not only that he needed that super hypo-allergenic stuff that smells and tastes nasty and costs and arm and a leg. I would have much rather had your problem than mine. (I didn’t expect to post this long. Guess I went on a venting tangent too!)

      • VanTed

        I have to put into perspective that if my only problem is some lost sleep than I shouldn’t be complaining. Sleep seems so irrelevant when the babies grow up so fast. But at the same time, we shouldn’t make mothers feel like there is something wrong for expressing their frustration regardless if they seem so minute in comparison to other women’s experiences. They are our own and I’m exhausted, period. My four hours of broken sleep a night keep me from functioning at my full potential when I still have small children that need me 100%. There is not much room for things to go wrong when staying awake is your number one focus. The only thing that keeps me sane is prayer and a great husband that doesn’t complain if I escape for an hour or two to at least try to catch up on sleep. With that said, I’ve experienced post-partum which led me to leave my husband at one point and led me into a spiral down hill. I’ll keep the details light, but in that spiral down hill I wound up pregnant by another man and had an abortion. This can happen (pp depression) with any one women, whether with just one child or 10 for those that may want to condemn me for having so many children. Inspite of all that comes with abortion, which I don’t need to get into to much detail, there is a part of us post abortive women that subconsciously we want to overcompensate as parents because of our shame in the abortion. I thought if I breast fed, co-slept, baby weared, and bought everything organic, than somehow I was better for it.
        I wonder if maybe some of these pro-choice “granola” mom’s push themselves to that point for the same reason…….maybe their post abortive to and trying to make up for it. We all want to be the best mothers and even without my history, there are mothers out there that in their best effort still go to bed wondering if they did all they could that day to be as spectacular as the next mom. Another tangent :/

        • atozmom

          Wow! Talk about putting things in perspective! I’m so, so sorry for your loss. And I think you’re probably right about the granola moms. (Now I get where “crunchy” comes from.) Some may even be compensating simply for their STANCE on abortion. And how old is your youngest? If I lived close to you I would come give you a break. But unless you live in south-central Texas I’ll have to settle for praying for your need for more sleep to be fulfilled. God Bless!

          • VanTed

            Awe thank you……my youngest is 10 months. I will gladly take your prayers!! I think we may be onto something ;)

  • I honestly don’t know how ridiculing the hippie & hipster sub-cultures you hate so much advances your cause. And I realize the appeal to hypocrisy is a popular sport for online partisans and agitators, but it’s just a lazy form of ad hominem, which in your hands barely rises above a whiny resentment.

    • VanTed

      She is not ridiculing them at all. She is bringing light to the ALL or nothing idea of motherhood that many of these women project. “Yeah kill your baby if you can’t be a perfect mother like I am, it’s your choice. But when you choose life, do it our way.” Clear enough for you??

      • Than neither of you have read many of Ms. Walker’s pieces. If it doesn’t contain some resentment towards hipsters or urbanites or Volvos or lattes, it’s not really a Walker piece at all. And it’s, frankly, getting pretty hackneyed. I’m about done criticizing them, because it’s clear they’ll never rise above self-parody anyway.

        • Calvin Freiburger

          Ah, pots and kettles…….

        • atozmom

          Did I miss something? Who is Ms. Walker?

    • Hannah Mallery

      She wasn’t saying that it’s wrong to breastfeed/babywear/cosleep, etc. She was saying how hypocritical it is to vilify someone who feeds their baby formula, while condoning the butchering babies who are mere weeks younger.
      i’m really sorry if you fail to see her very plainly stated point.

  • Christine

    I’m surprised to hear there are actually women who are so against formula, sleep training, and epidurals they’re lobbying to outlaw them! Those people are truly out there! If you’re going to be pro-choice, I agree, you should be pro-choice about those decisions too.

  • yes! ut this is like being a PETA member and being pro-abortion….animals are worth more than babies (!?!)

    • Flayer

      Or a vegetarian.

    • Patti.RCIA

      Aha… sounds like one of my favorite quotes, “It has always been a paradox to me when someone claims they are veg*n to save lives and yet they think that aborting a human is O.K.” ~ Patricia Marie Revelle

  • amycas

    I would say these women are overly judgmental if they are for all those things and think women who don’t agree can’t possibly be good mothers, however, I don’t see how any of it has to do with whether or not a woman should be allowed to get an abortion. I see women who attack other women for not breast-feeding the same way I see women who attack other women for getting an abortion: they’re nosey, judgmental idiots (especially idiots if they’re advocating exclusive home-birthing and telling people not to get their children vaccinated).

    • VanTed

      Ya because how you chose to feed your baby and mothers killing their children is practically one in the same. I mean it’s just another option in this life of “choices”. Man, next time I see a born child suffering and being abused, I’m just going to walk by and ignore it. I wouldn’t want to be a “judgmental nosy idiot” and all. *Dripping with sarcasm*

      • Basset_Hound

        “Man, next time I see a born child suffering and being abused, I’m just going to walk by and ignore it. I wouldn’t want to be a “judgmental nosy idiot” and all. *Dripping with sarcasm*”

        Good one Van Ted. Wish I would have thought of it. Would you sue me if I copied it and used it somewhere else?

  • Grace

    It’s my suspicion (in general) that it’s not about the children. It’s about them.. evolving into the perfect human being. Kind of like Hitler’s master race.

    • VanTed

      Very good point!!

      • Grace

        Thank you very much.

    • Basset_Hound

      The children are nothing more than glorified pets or fashion accessories. The feminoid doesn’t consider it a worthwhile use of her gigantic intellect if she actually interacts with them for longer than 15 minutes a day.


      I believe you are absolutely right. I was such a Mom thirty-five years ago and even taught childbirth preparation and lactation classes. I didn’t judge so much but when my friends pointed out how sad it was for a child to have an artificial nipple and commercial formula, I came to agree with them. I am concerned that women today get all of their birthing and parenting info from TV programs. It surprises me that childbirth prep is passe nowadays. All of us who went through the process formed great friendships and supported each other during the early days of parenting. I ended up with C-sections because I had big babies. I was too chicken to suggest they let me out of bed to walk and squat. I was very concerned because I read that spinals and epidurals could result in learning problems. I can’t believe that epidurals are so commonplace these days. It puts a Mom at high risk for a c-section because she has problems pushing the baby out. However, I agree with you that snobbery is at the root of much of the “crunchy” behavior.

      I have learned a lot about birth control of late. (I recommend the You Tube lecture by Vicki Thorn: ‘What They Never Told You in Sex-Ed’ as a starting point. Except for the first and last five minutes the lecture is totally objective). The crunchies are only going to eat organic foods and they will apply organic lotions and perfumes but they are polluting their bodies and our water, they are contributing to the increase of HIV and HPV among women, they are risking stroke and breast cancer and they are choosing genetically similar men to have babies with.

  • jocelyn

    In life, I’ve never met a crunchy anti life mom. Only within the twilight zone of the internet. At least half of the crunchy moms I know are Christians, but all are pro life and anti birth control. If not for the morality, then for the “natural-ality”. I gotta doubt the authenticity of a woman that is emotionally charged up over formula but not RU486. Something tells me she’s not as crunchy as she claims and simply has an inferiority complex and needs to tear other women down. There’s also the very real possibility you’re dealing with post abortive women…..

  • Oh man, I know what you mean. I feel the same way about pro-abortion PETA people. Although I’m not a completely crunchy mom, I do have to disagree with you about sleep training though (in the extreme form where they tell you never to pick up your child or you’ll spoil them). I undrestand why people do it, but I still can’t agree with a practice that leaves an infant with a legitamate pscyhological and physical need for human contact to cry and scream until exhaustion sends them into sleep. But I really do agree with you regarding the bottles and hospital births and vaccinations and all that…

  • This is what happens when you take the ideology “Every child a wanted child” to it’s logical (and absurd) conclusion.

    The thinking is that if you truly want your child, you will breastfeed, attachment parent, etc. If not, then there is no sense bringing him or her into the world.

    The flaw in this thinking is that “every child a wanted child” means that child has no inherent value other than that which the parent gives it. Therefore, if you love your child, you will pour yourself into giving the child as much value as possible.

    Helicopter parenting is the “flipside” of the contraceptive mentality.

    • I think you nailed it!

    • Flayer

      I’ve always wanted to ask my liberal friends who have adopted children their stance on abortion, many of whom had to go outside the country. I’ve always wanted to ask Barak Obama if his mother, an unwed teenager abandoned by the “father,” should have aborted him if it were legal in 1961. I’ve always wanted to ask that same question of pro-abort Obama supporters.

  • Erin

    Love this post! It’s so true. I feel your pain. I live in Madison, WI, which often seems like the crunchy-mom center of the universe. And the liberal motherland. I am punched in the face with this kind of irony everyday.

  • CWK

    amen sister.

  • Guest

    I feel that this article was extremely insulting. In advance, I want you to know that I am very strongly pro-life and so is my mother. My mother, however, believes in doulas and water births (a kind, motherly doula assisted my mom into bringing my brother into the world). She also very rarely used bottles with us, used cloth diapers all the time, and fed us goat’s milk when my brother and I were babies so that we would grow up healthy. She believes strongly in natural birth as well, but doesn’t look down on everyone who uses a bottle or points fingers at people who have epidurals to induce birth. She just doesn’t believe that these are the best options.

    I understand that you are speaking from your own experience, and so am I. I also know that you did not intend to offend anybody. However, not all people who breastfeed, do water births, have a doula, and give their kids cloth diapers are “birth in a tub in front of your fireplace with your vegan boyfriend cradling you and your priestess waving burning sage around and your doula reciting Sylvia Plath poems” type people. You are making them sound like Satanists. With all due respect, I am highly insulted by your misconceptions and prejudgements. I am pro-life, with the immune system of a horse.

    • Judith

      I am glad someone else agree’s with me.

      I also find alot of the comments about AP incredibly insensitive, judgmental and rude.

      • Jennifer

        I was trying to decide if I was offended or not. GUest, and Judith, thanks for making me not feel crazy that I did feel a little sensitive to this article. I am 150% pro-life…so pro-life that when I pray in front of abortion clinics, I pray for the opportunity to promise these women I would gladly adopt their babies if they only would give it the chance to live. That being said, I am also 100% Catholic, and 100% consrvative in my beliefs….and 100% crunchy. I happen to have my last baby via water birth, in a birthing center and the whole time was actually praying to the Blessed Mother and Jesus to get me through it. My children have all been on raw cows milk since they were off the breast, and I don’t vaccinate. My belief in God is what led me to not vaccinate in that I believe God does not make mistakes so why inject your child with toxins, to include CELL LINES OF ABORTED BABIES to supposedly protect them. I co-sleep, I baby-wear, I homeschool. I feed my kids a whole foods diet, and when I see parents at the store with carts full of processed unhealthy food I actually pray for their children. But I don’t spew hatred towards women that may not chose the same path I have chosen. And I network in a large group of women who raise their kids the same way I do and I have to say, I can’t name one that is pro-abortion. So please, understand that the women you had the unfortunate contact with are most certainly an acceptation to the rule.

  • Certain obsessive compulsive rituals and scrupulosity of baby care might be compensatory for prior abortions.
    Others might be trying to keep busy in order to keep their minds off of miscarriages or other personal tragedies.
    Do those ladies make soup with their placentas, or is it used for tacos or chili? What about those placentas which are sent off to pathology lab?

  • Judith

    To an extent I agree with you. It baffles me. Just as seeing millions of people on facebook cry and post pictures of poor animals being abused (which is wrong), but don’t seem to take issue to abortion.

    Honestly I think we are all flawed, from all stances. We stand for something while doing something else that makes people’s heads shake.

    I have always been pro-life, but I also very much believe in attatchment parenting. I’m sorry that you got such a bad image of attatchment parenting, because it really is a beautiful thing. Yes most of us believe in the B’s of attatchment parenting. (Birth Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bedding close to Baby, Belief in the language and value of your baby’s cry, Beware of baby trainers, Balance) But Attatchment parenting is more a philosiphy than just following certain rules. Ultimately as parents we want and try to do what is best for our baby/child. To me, attatchment parenting is the ultimate believe in pro-life. Why? Because it is about the dignity, value and respect of life. It is about listening to my child’s inherent needs, about valueing him and respecting him.

    I am boggled at my other staunch pro-life acquiantances and friends who stand for all there is pro-life, while saying things about their little 2 year old like, “He is just manipulating me.” Honestly I find alot of the ladies I know who are pro-life seem to somehow think that God made children into little Tyrants that must be molded and trained. Apparently they all forgot how Jesus continued to preach about being like little children and letting the little children come to him.

    Maybe we just are all flawed and really none of us is black or white… we all have a little grey. I don’t know.

    I believe in natural birth, and my next child will be born in the water. I am not vegan, nor do I have a priestess. Birth is a natural process… has been for thousands of years. There really should be nothing odd or radical about that… or even crunchy. It’s birth. lol

    Listening to your infant and responding is also not that radical. Again, I find that the most respectful of the little life I value.

    Abortion is wrong, killing life is wrong… people that are staunch ap parents while supporting pro-choice don’t make sense either.

  • Awesome column Kristen — this whole thing that these lunatics do is rooted in guilt — plain and simple. Isn’t PCOS the condition Sandra ‘Everybody’s Favorite’ Fluke used to badger the nation into believing every woman in the country deserves free birth control?

    Somehow they think grinding peaches in a Baby Bullet and using cruelty-free shampoo will somehow compensate for burning the skin off 3 infants with saline solution prior to the one they currently insist on toting around all day in a Baby Bjorn.

    Truth is this proves that liberal pro-choice women are so self-consumed that their wanting something is what they believe gives them the power over life and death and they go overboard not so much to protect the child but to give increased value to their choices.

    Next time you go on that forum ask those loonies if they were always planning to allow their children to co-sleep with them or are they just afraid that some other pro-choice woman will climb though the window and kill their baby?

  • thatdigiguy

    geeepers girl…. yer makin me glad to have been born with man-parts….

    seriously though – you’re dead-on with that understanding. abortion is the ULTIMATE form of child-abuse.

  • I love this – it would actually be funny if it weren’t so true. I love the way Kristen writes!!

  • Lynette

    also interesting how these women who are so anti-medicine have no problem with taking birth control to prevent conception rather than trying the wholly-organic Natural Family Planning!

  • Evelyn

    There is a bit of an overlap that maybe will help make sense of this, thought, really, nothing makes sense of abortion. In my state, until recently, birthing at home with a midwife who whose credentials would be recognized in most of the world, was a felony here. Many of the arguments which eventually led to legalization, revolved around personal autonomy, and the idea that the state had no business telling me where I had to birth my babies, because they are *my* babies. We also have people here who will cheerfully call CPS on neighbors who espouse “crunchy” parenting choices like cosleeping and extended breastfeeding. So even those of us who are pro-life find that there is a reciprocal hands-off attitude: I expect you not to tell me what I can or can’t do related to my kiddos, and I will offer you the same respect. In a way, yes, it’s apples and oranges. At the same time, choosing our battles helped unify women to get midwifery legislation passed. We mostly choose to agree to disagree on abortion and prefer that it not come up in our official business, though I think most everybody knows where everybody else stands.

    So, that’s some of what might be going on, from my perspective, at least. 95% of the crunchy moms I’ve met are strongly prolife.

  • Flayer

    I can really understand what you are saying. I recently attended a town hall hearing in my town to discuss the horrors! of a recently opened sporting goods shop that also sold….eek!…guns. Moms showed up at 7pm with their little daughters fresh out of baths wearing their jammies, pink ribbons in their hair and holding – I’m not kidding – red balloons with hearts on them and photos of Sandy Hill victims. Everyone had a chance to speak and their “testimonies” were emotionally charged pleas of how much THEY loved their children and how unsafe they felt whenever they passed the gun store (in a commercial part of the town, near auto repair shops). I scrapped my prepared statement and got up and said how disgusted I was with the condescending attitude of the moms who paraded their cute daughters, used them as props, and implied that gun owners “didn’t love their children” as much as they did. There was a gasp in the audience and later lots of thumbs up as we exited the hall. They REALLY were trying to portray the image they were moms who truly loved their kids, unlike the others who supported a licensed gun store, or worse owned guns. I told them that they forgot to bring their smelling salts and lace hankies…what was this? Victorian England? Didn’t they want their daughters to defend themselves if necessary or did they rely on big, hunky, strong men to defend their honor? Is this the new feminism? Look, the lefties always get away with the emotional pleas but I decided to forgo the stats, Constitution and all the ideas that made our country strong and better. I decided to fight emotion with emotion. I can hurl back and use their techniques right back at them.

    • Kmbold

      God bless the ground you walk on. I live in the same area and the word picture you painted is accurate. Smug, patronizing, p.c., self-absorbed gaggle of girls. One can hope that experience and some maturing will help them break out of that mold and the little ones rise above that strangling materialistic culture.

      • Flayer

        Thanks. I’m no longer going to accept their premises. I decide what the rules of discussion are…in a street fighting mood. No more “nice guy.”

  • Heather

    Awesome post and so true! Off-topic somewhat, but if you’re interested in a community of totally pro-life Catholic women, many of whom are going through that “big bad Western medicine” ;) (aka Napro technology) to tackle PCOS and other fertility issues, check out Living the Sacrament forum: Many are crunchy too. :P

  • momof7

    This was FANTASTIC! You were able to sum up what I have felt for so very long. Thank you for giving me a voice! Beam me up!!!!!

  • MEL

    It is a Bizarro World today. I grew up in the 70s with older sisters graduating high school and entering college. When young women started feeling the pressure to “have it all”–career, relationship, baby, control, perfection–all I saw was a spinning yin yang of narcissism and guilt driving women on and on and on. They were all like cats chasing their own tails. One sister became conservative pro-life, and promoted breastfeeding, natural childbirth, and full-time motherhood. The other, a pro-choice, divorced single parent, promoted being financially independent of any man, and valued “quality time, not quantity” with her children. Both were insecure, a little jealous of each other, and always trying to be perfect. They are grandmothers now, and all their grown kids obsess on being the perfect parents….I just wish all of them were pro-life.


    Yes, the children are pets for these women.

    Margaret Sanger called breastfeeding a form of slavery for women. So the above women are inconsistent for sure. But breastfeeding is the best and if you can’t for some major reason, then one needs to parent the bottle fed baby in the same loving way as with breastfeeding. It is after all God’s plan written into our bodies. It is very sacrificial on the part of the mom. Having done both, I feel sorry for the moms who are bottle feeding. They are truly missing out. Just like the difference between C-sections and natural births.
    Attachment parenting is easier than bottle-feeding folks! It is good news for exhausted moms!!

  • NoCommies

    Women like that are despicable human beings, deep down they know it, and their treating motherhood this way is compensating for their being rotten to the core. Plain and simple. In fact, same could be said about most other “liberal” causes, be in environmentalism or militant veganism. These people are sick in the head.

  • Kate

    I’ll admit I’m about as crunchy as they get. But everything I do goes with my own logic. I wear my baby because for thousands of years that were babies have been with mother. Makes sense. I extend breastfeed because for thousands of years that what babies do. Just because we’ve changed does mean babies genetic and basic needs have. Makes sense. I don’t let my children cry it out to sleep train them because I can’t even imagine how it would feel if I were in my child shoes. It doesn’t feel right and it makes sense. I don’t ever try to judge a women formula feeding even if it’s hard for me to understand but I also know it’s hard for them to understand me breastfeeding a 2 year old. Killing a baby does not makes sense to me I don’t understand it and I know it’s not right for me but I also understand that I can not judge a women who has because I’m not her. Even if I don’t agree logic stands against me in some parts. In countries were women are forced to have children in a 15 to 20 span later crime rate dramatically increase. In America the 1990 were predicted to me the age of crime but the crime rate decreased… in the 1970’s… that’s when abortion was made legal. Abortion happens legal or not in back allies in unsanitary conditions or with proper care. As long as we hare properly education the women before they make decision I really think that’s all I can ask, even if it breaks my heart.

  • Lia Joy Rundle

    Maybe these women have such a high standard of parenting that they believe a baby should not be brought into the world unless that standard can be achieved… Just a guess. I embrace many of the practices that would make me a “crunchy mom” but hesitate to use that term because it seems to imply I’m dogmatic about it which I’m not. I am pro-choice but anti-abortion; so I can’t tell you from direct experience what the thought process is behind all the judging… I guess I’d just like to make the point that there are many home-birthing, placenta eating, breastfeeding, feminist, pro-choice women who are both compassionate and reasonable. I think the way mothers are judged and held to ridiculous standards by society in general is the root cause of such “mommy wars”… Something we all need to rise above.

  • Mandy P

    Thank you for this post. It makes me feel better about the juxapostion between some key issues of being crunchy but not really open to life.