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Published: March 20, 2013 2:58 am to Analysis

The shocking Ashley Judd rape joke… that never happened

Judd-Pelosi

Ashley Judd all smiles with Nancy Pelosi.

Mother Jones is shocked.

The Huffington Post is shocked.

The left, everywhere, is shocked. It’s shocking. It’s really, really so terribly shocking. And appalling and disgusting. That in these times, here in the year of our deity (or no deity because that, too, is a valid life-path) 2013, terrible, misogynistic men like Steven Crowder still exist.

This man-beast, this throwback to an unenlightened age, when women were forced to stay home and vacuum in high heels and pearls, clearly hates women, probably because he wasn’t breastfed hard enough. Steven Crowder is asked to speak at clandestine cabals like the Conservative Political Action Conference. And he stands up and he opens his vile mouth, and he says this:

This just in: Ashley Judd just tweeted that purchasing apple products is akin to rape… from her iPhone… Rape? Really, now she knows what my mind felt like after Divine Secrets of [the] Ya Ya Sisterhood.

Satan – I mean Steven – Crowder, also said, “What is this obsession with Ashley Judd and rape? It’s pretty unnerving.” This is extremely insensitive because Ashley Judd was sexually abused as a child. That means that she is allowed to be dismissive of the horror of rape by comparing it to things like iPhones and mining. We, however, are not. Unless you, too, were sexually abused. Then you can get written permission from Ashley and it’s okay to compare things to rape that totally aren’t.

Let me just recap, okay? I need to make sure you know the rules:

Ashley Judd makes comments that minimize the atrocity of rape, such as comparing it to Apple or mining: okay

Steven Crowder makes joke about the fact that Ashley Judd has minimized the atrocity of rape: not okay

Remember, Ashley Judd is a sexual abuse victim. She is also very famous, pretty, and loud. She has lots of money, and she’s running for Senate against an evil, by which I mean Republican, man, Mitch McConnell. She also bravely supports abortion. I’m very glad Steven Crowder didn’t point out the irony of a victim of sexual abuse supporting a procedure which is often used to help perpetrators cover up the results of their abuse – i.e., babies. That would have been extremely mean and inappropriate.

In all seriousness, this horrifying rape-related joke about Ashley Judd? It didn’t happen. Watch the video yourself.

We live in a sick time, when a woman downplays the severity of rape, gets called out on it by a dude, and that dude gets slammed in the media for mentioning her name and rape in the same sentence. However, you could make actual jokes about Sarah Palin getting actually raped, and the same websites that are pretending to be horrified by Steven Crowder would probably put you on staff, or at least call you “brave” and “subversive.”

Ashley Judd is challenging a prominent Republican for a Senate seat, so the media is on the job. They’re going to help her get elected, and Steven Crowder is just one of many who will have straw spun into gold by HuffPo, et al. to boost her campaign. This is a great opportunity for them to make Ashley Judd to look like a victim rather than the shrill, narcissistic ideologue she is.

About Kristen Hatten

Kristen is a writer and comedian who makes people mad on the Internet. She is Vice President of New Wave Feminists and enjoys taxidermy, yachting, and 19th century French poetry. Stalk her relentlessly for fun and profit.
View all posts by Kristen Hatten

  • Detroiter327

    Wow! Way to provide a shining example of irony and hypocrisy here! Its not every day you see someone complain about mischaracterization while doing the exact same thing! Considering your fixation with Ashley Judd, and your claim to be a feminist Im surprised you decided to cherry pick and mischaracterize her statement yourself. For anyone who does not have basic working knowledge of Google (which apparently you do not) I will spell it out for you. Ashley Judd did not “compare” rape to iPhones or mining. She brought much needed attention to human rights abuses that are going on in Africa. If anyone had read her entire tirade they would have understood that. Many of the minerals that make up the computer or phone you and I are using right now are made of “conflict minerals”. I know conflict minerals are not as publicized as conflict diamonds (wheres Leonardo Decaprio when you need him) but they are every bit as deadly. Much like conflict diamonds, the mining and sales of these minerals go on to finance mass rape, armies of child soldiers, and some of the most bloody regimes in the world today. Yes. You buying a smart phone or computer helps finance this. Even Steve Jobs (you all like Steve Jobs! He once said something pro life and you made memes out of it!) realized it was a gigantic problem in desperate need of a solution.

    Is it understandable for a victim of sexual abuse to be upset about mass rape going on in countries profiting from conflict minerals? Of course. Its actually the very definition of ignorance and stupidity to be complaining about Ashley Judds “rape obsession” without knowing what she was referring to. It IS shocking to make jokes about a womans “obsession” to help other survivors of sexual abuse. Working tirelessly to help stop sexual abuse should be rewarded, not ridiculed.

    Its too bad everyone here is so busy with the imagined “human rights abuse of the unborn” to pay attention to actual human rights atrocities going on halfway across the world.

    • Detroiter327
    • dodgergirl88

      Your last paragraph/sentence – Its too bad everyone here is so busy with the imagined “human rights
      abuses of the unborn” to pay attention to actual human rights atrocities
      going on halfway across the world….Well, Two wrongs don’t make a right. While I think it is hard, not impossible, but hard to take care of every human rights violation in the world, the United States does have the power, wealth and world position to do what we can to help as many abused people that we can. And you know what Detroiter, we pretty much do. But let’s not forget, as we are always the first of any country in the world to help aid people and countries in need, we are also criticized for doing so. As we are called the Great Satan, the powerful and almighty. I mean, they want our money and help, but not our goodness or even influence. Well, then be careful what you ask for. I mean, let’s not forget that your Democrat President Bill Clinton didn’t lift one finger to help the country of Rwanda during there Civil War, a true human genocide within all our lifetime. Again, two wrongs don’t make a right. An human rights abuse is a human rights abuse, regardless if that person is inside the womb or outside. Just like I don’t really believe in “hate crimes”, because to me, a crime is a crime is a crime. And how dare you say “imagined human rights abuses of the unborn.” That’s horrible.

    • Cheri

      It’s too bad pro-choicers are too busy with the imagined “war on women” (aka refusal to fund supposedly private choices such as hormonal pills and abortions with public dollars) to actually lift a megaphone (much less a finger) for the millions of women violently coerced into forced abortions across the world. Instead of wagging your finger at us for not adapting to your distorted views on abortion, practice what you preach by actively working to abolish brutal One Child policies. There’s a human rights atrocity we can both agree on, yet the pro-choice community is questionably silent.

  • sbuffalonative

    “Rape is OUR word!”

  • http://twitter.com/Astraspider Astraspider

    No, the Left “everywhere” is not shocked. Some of us are very happy in our lives with zero Steven Crowder coverage.

  • Calvin Freiburger

    Well, that’s two of our regular lefty commenters who don’t seem to care about the article’s point, which is that liberal media outlets are telling a horrendous lie about Crowder…..

    • VanTed

      Amen to that!! And once again, lefty commentators that prove their ignorance by referring to “real” human rights vs “imagined” human rights of the unborn HUMAN.

      Detroiter, I do believe that conflict minerals and the atrocities that they are associated with are deplorable and is definitely something that needs to actually be made main stream information, but that does not negate the atrocity of abortion nor does it make abortion a moot issue. With that said, would you hold such angst over the American Cancer Association for not fighting for Abortion rights?? Give me a break. Ones cause and advocacy for a cause does not make them uncaring towards a cause of a different purpose……in this case, abortion vs conflict minerals.

      • Red Mann

        Because your beliefs about abortion do not comport with reality, just your extreme religious beliefs.

        • VanTed

          Hmmmm…….where did I mention my religious beliefs?? Another lefty commentator presumption that somehow anyone that values life from conception MUST be religious. Ever heard of Secular Pro-life Alliance, Pro-life Pagans, Pro-life Alliance for Gays and Lesbians, Pro-life Atheists?? Now who is not in touch with reality??

          • Red Mann

            Actually no, I’ve not heard of too many non-religious forced birthers. Seems like the majority talk about the will of God or claim the Bible supports their view. So then, you aren’t religious or religion doesn’t inform your view?

          • Calvin Freiburger

            Thank you for admitting your ignorance.

          • Red Mann

            Of course I admit to any lack of knowledge I may have. I just find it hard to believe that rational people could be caught up in the uninformed, irrational anti-abortion movement. I’ve heard some many claims that science supports the anti’s view that simply aren’t true and most claims are based on misinformation, deliberately or otherwise.

          • Calvin Freiburger

            Now that we’ve gotten you to admit your ignorance, why don’t you get started on confronting the prejudices and biases that your commentary displays?

          • Red Mann

            I don’t have prejudices, I have read the words of your heros and they are irrational and I am biased against the lies and hatred that pour out of the right.

          • VanTed

            The right is irrational and bias……….I’m sorry but that is funny coming from someone that has done nothing but showed those two traits on this thread.

          • VanTed

            I’m willing to bet my house that if an abortionist told you themselves that abortion was the killing of a human being, that you would somehow ignore it to continue your stance……..like many pro-abortion people do. Time and time again abortionists have admitted to the reality of abortion and pro-aborts go la la la la la! There is misinformation and then there is denial. The latter defines you quite nicely. Please, tell me what Science you have heard that is so wrong in proving the position that pro-lifers take. I am dying to hear this “misinformation” that you keep speaking of.

          • dodgergirl88

            Right on, VanTed. I love what you’re saying. You’re last two sentences really nail Red Mann. Thumbs up.

          • dodgergirl88

            Wow, you are a piece of work. I can’t even believe you have 4 thumbs up. The uninformed, irrational anti-abortion movement? Really? Tell me what is irrational about it. Have you not seen how your own side acts and reacts and treats pro-lifers when they are face to face with them? Bullies and purely nasty. Quite the opposite is true in the pro-life side of the aisle. Since you quoted what science supports, and I’ll add technology, then how is it that you still don’t believe it, or when life starts? All you have to do is look at video’s or ultrasounds of babies inside the womb, how they are developing, when their heart starts beating, when their eyes, ears, mouth, arms, legs are growing. These images are real, and it is these images of beautiful innocent babies in their mother’s womb that pro-abortionists cannot deny exist. They cannot deny that this is not a human being. I mean, what else could that infant be, if not a human being? And please don’t say fetus, a fetus still is a human baby. This is why the pro-choice, pro-abortion movement will never win and I believe will eventually lose the war. There is too much science, there are too many ultrasounds and videos showing life, and there are now too many young people turning against abortion lovers like you for this holocaust to continue. America lost her soul, and God took a back seat, the day the Supreme Court passed Roe v Wade. A nation who kills its most innocent will never survive if this carnage continues. Dear God, what have we done to ourselves and those little children?

          • VanTed

            Red Mann, I have heard many “Christians” claim that they believe in the the choice to have abortions they just wouldn’t have it themselves along with the other rhetoric that they spew to justify their stance. Pigeon holing one group of people mainly because you don’t believe in their belief of spirituality and not being open to the biological and scientific reasoning behind why one would not have to claim religion to hold a pro-life position, is ignorant. Now, I have named the different non religion based pro-life groups. You have heard of them now. It’s up to you to educate yourself further so that you don’t make the same mistake of trying to “defend” your pro-abortion stance by belittling the religious beliefs of others.
            As for my religion when it comes to my pro-life position, it really isn’t a factor and it doesn’t form my belief seeing that Biology forms the reality of what makes a human a human. You don’t need to be a religious to hold something sacred and life is included in that. But for me, my religion confirms it.

          • dodgergirl88

            Hey Red Mann, Van Ted didn’t say one way or the other whether he is religious or not. I would hope though, that if he is, he would be proud enough to admit and defend it. But as far as your statement about the will of God or the Bible supporting the religious point of view against abortion, I would bet with my life, that God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, all the Apostles and Saints and those responsible for writing the Bible, would be 100% pro-life, anti-abortion, however you want to word it. No way would the killing of a human life in the womb, be something they would be in favor of. It would be an unconscionable thought. By the way, why use the term forced birther? What does that even mean? It sounds like your trying to stick pro-lifers in the same category as the Obama birthers. Please explain. I feel so sad for you, Red Mann, to be someone who doesn’t believe that that little baby inside their mama is an equal human being in the eyes you abortion believers. I’ll pray for you.

        • Basset_Hound

          My husband is an agnostic. He believes that abortion is taking a human life.

    • Detroiter327

      What is the lie here? Crowder ridiculed a rape survivor attempting to combat rape worldwide. He likened getting sexually assaulted to watching a bad movie. That all happened in a room full of people.

      • Calvin Freiburger

        I see your fact-checking mission is as sincere and consistently-applied as ever….

        Take, for instance, Kirsten’s link to HuffPo. The headline: “Steven Crowder: ‘What Is This Obsession With Ashley Judd And Rape?’”

        The entire text: “Steven Crowder, a Fox News contributor who hosted part of Saturday’s activities at the 2013 Conservative Political Action Conference, made a questionable remark about actress and possible Kentucky Senate candidate Ashley Judd. ‘What is this obsession with Ashley Judd and rape?’ Crowder asked while joking about Judd and Apple products. ‘It’s pretty unnerving.’”

        No mention of what Crowder said immediately before, or of Judd’s comments that he was referring to. Just a vague mention of an “obsession with Ashley Judd and rape,” as if Crowder was joking about Judd *getting raped* or otherwise *involved in rape*, rather than what he really criticized, Judd’s habit of comparing things that aren’t rape to rape.

        The Mother Jones headline, “CPAC: Where Ashley Judd Rape Jokes Happen” attempts to leave the same false & malicious impression. Various other liberals have said similar things about this being an example of “rape jokes,” when Crowder wasn’t joking about rape at all; he was joking about his political opponent’s hyperbole.

        I eagerly await your next oh-so-noble rationalization for why inaccuracy and unfairness don’t matter after all when your side is the one doing it.

        • Detroiter327

          The fact that you see nothing wrong with what Steven Crowder said is why the Republican Party has a problem. The fact that you are trying to excuse someone likening sexual assault to watching a bad movie is why people say the Republican Party is out of touch with women. The fact that you are STILL mischaracterizing a rape survivors attempt to combat rape as “a habit of comparing things to rape” and “hyperbole” is why Republican pundits keep digging themselves a hole.

          • Calvin Freiburger

            ROFL.

    • Red Mann

      Well given that Mr. Crowder is associated with serial liars Breitbart.com and Fox News and that he was an MC for the 2011 CPAC hate fest and spoke at this year’s CPAC meeting of RW fanatics, you can see why we “lefties” ie rational folks don’t care much for him and don’t take anything he says seriously.
      “Ashley Judd makes comments that minimize the atrocity of rape, such as comparing it to Apple or mining: okay”
      This is an obvious falsehood, see Detroit327′s post which explains what Judd actually said, not Crowder’s misrepresentation which then negates:
      “Steve Crowder makes a joke about the fact that Ashley Judd minimized the atrocity of rape: not okay”
      Crowder’s comment is not a response to any fact, just a distortion of reality. Nothing new here, it’s the rightwing standard.

      • Calvin Freiburger

        As opposed to the levelheaded honesty of someone who thinks CPAC is a “hate fest” full of “fanatics.” Gotcha.

        • Red Mann

          If you don’t think it’s an anti-gay, anti-liberal, anti non Christian hate fest, you ain’t listening. Toddle over to RightWingWatch.org and listen to what the crazies at CPAC are saying..

          • Calvin Freiburger

            Ooohhhh, I see. The far-left hive that does your thinking for you told you that’s what CPAC is. Gotcha.

          • Red Mann

            No, the “far-left hive” (which doesn’t even exist) doesn’t think for me, I think for myself. I read sites and blogs from all over the web and, even though you think otherwsie, CPAC is a gathering of misguided and misinformed bigots and haters. It is more like you rightwingers believe all the nonsense the Right Wing Noise Machine spews out. I’m almost 67 and spent 24 years in the Navy and have lived in serveral countires around the world. I do look at all aspects and have found the right wing to be wanting in clear thinking and rationallity. Fox News, Glenn Beck, Breitbert et al all stretch reality when they are not flat out lying. Do yourself a favor, step out of your bubble and check out the real world.

          • Calvin Freiburger

            “I read sites and blogs from all over the web and, even though you think otherwsie, CPAC is a gathering of misguided and misinformed bigots and
            haters.”

            Oh, so you *know* that you’re lying, then.

          • Red Mann

            No Calvin, I’m not lying. CPAC is full of deluded religious fanatics who rave about gays destroying American and how Obama is the devil. If you believe their nonsense, you are beyond help, do I don’t see any point in continuing our ‘conversation’.

          • Red Mann

            No Calvin, I’m not lying. CPAC is full of deluded religious fanatics who rave about gays destroying American and how Obama is the devil. If you believe their nonsense, you are beyond help, do I don’t see any point in continuing our ‘conversation’.

          • dodgergirl88

            And you’re so self-righteous RedMann? Why are you on the left so holier than thou, but you love death so much. And so open minded but yet so intolerant of those who don’t think like you? I mean you name it, it’s always something with you lefties. Man, the only boxes you don’t have checked above is racist, anti-illegal immigrant, anti gay-marriage… let’s see, what am I missing? I listened plenty to the CPAC speeches, and believe me, you are not hearing correctly if you think anything that was said was anything you mentioned above. But lefty ears like yours will only hear the things they want, and it’s always negative. I’m so glad I’m a conservative, so happy I’m not always dwelling on the negative. It consumes the left so, so much.

      • dodgergirl88

        You are such a tool. Man, don’t you get tired of yourself/

  • Timmehh

    Kristen, why didn’t you mention what Ashley Judd actually said? I’m not particularly a fan of hers, but you kind of ignored what she was actually saying, which just makes us all look ridiculous. Not cool.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.r.brown.7 Lisa Brown

    Again, love your style Mrs. Hatten!