Guest Column

Single and pregnant: Condemned or crowned?

150 salina crowning

Recently I was sitting around a board-room table with another pro-life organization, discussing the ministry of Embrace Grace. As I shared about how we empower the church to love on single and pregnant young women and how we crown each one of the new moms at a special Princess Day while telling them how much God loves them very much, I realized a woman to my left had tears rolling down her cheeks.

I asked her if she was okay and she began to tell her story. Forty DSC_1282years earlier she had realized she was unexpectedly expecting. She told her parents and they were so upset, they sent her away to live in a maternity home in another state while not telling any outsiders what had happened. They even made her change her name so that it would never come out what she had done. Carrying immense feelings of shame and condemnation from her family and her own thoughts, her depression became almost unbearable. She placed her baby for adoption because she felt like she had no other choice and for years, it became a subject that was never talked about in her family.

“If someone had placed a crown on my head, that would have changed everything,” she said with tears in her eyes.

crowningWe have a choice on whether we will shame or love, discourage or encourage, speak death or speak life, to condemn or to crown. If they have put their faith in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, they are a King’s daughter and nothing that they do can make them lose that title.

When women find their identity in Christ, and understand how much God loves them so very much, that’s when everything changes. When they really get that, then all the things they shouldn’t be doing, become things they don’t want to do anymore because they fall in love with their heavenly Father. We have unlimited access to the fullness of God’s love and provision.

When we know who we are, we’re not defined by our feelings. When we know who we are, we are not defined by the opinions of others. When we know who we are, we are not defined by our successes, failures or by our circumstances. When we know who we are, we can change the world with Christ’s love!

Being single and pregnant is a season someone is in and not a label. image4When we are compassionate towards these moms instead of fueling shame, they are more empowered and equipped to walk in confidence as the mother that God has completely equipped them to be for their child. We can speak life into these moms hearts and be pro-love in our response to them and they will be more likely to flourish inside and out, not only through the pregnancy but even as a mother afterwards.

God knows their name. He knows how many hairs on their head. He knows their thoughts. He knows where they are going and where they have been. He knows the name of the baby they are carrying in their womb. He knows how many hairs on the baby’s head. He knows everything we have done and will ever do, yet His love for us is deep, so wide and vast. He had planned both of their lives before they were ever conceived.

princessdayWe have life and death in the power of our tongues (Proverbs18:21). Let’s use it to save mommies babies by speaking love and identity to young moms that are expecting!

Oh and the business associate from the meeting that placed her baby for adoption 40 years ago? We of course stopped the meeting,  ran and grabbed a crown to place on her head, and told her how much God loved and adored her too.

If you are interested in starting an Embrace Grace support group and hosting a Princess Day at your local church for brave, single and pregnant moms, go to www.EmbraceGrace.com for more information!


Note: Amy Ford is the cofounder and President of Embrace Grace, Inc., an organization formed for the purpose of providing emotional, practical and spiritual support for single young girls that find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy.

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