Culture

“Thanks, abortion!” and the claim to empower women

In trying to remember and search for a quote on women regretting abortion, I found myself guided by Google to a website called Thanks, Abortion! There are pretty blue background colors and a nice font, with a headline reading: “Read and share positive stories from real women in the real world.” Never mind the stories from real women; the statements and messages from this website alone are enough to make abortion sound like the most empowering and exciting procedure on the planet. And, in light of some of the stories and Facebook comments, it seems that actual supporters do think that.

The About section of the site starts off by stating the following:

Are you thinking about getting an abortion, but all you’ve found were horror stories online? Stories like these often involve a lifetime of guilt, religious overtones, and above all, shame.

We really can’t speak for these individuals, but we can tell you that there’s a huge population of women who have thankfully been able to terminate their pregnancy[.]

Maybe the organization doesn’t speak for those individuals mentioned who regret abortions, but it does portray them in a negative light. It does so by over-generalizing as well. There are of course individuals and organizations that recognize the guilt associated with abortion, and many are religious, but their intent is certainly not to shame women. Also, Thanks, Abortion! does not list any sources that I could find, besides stories on its own site. Also, if such an organization wishes to truly help women, it should provide them with honest information about the true nature of abortion.

The site also has a t-shirts section, which mentions that the site would like those with their own pictures to submit them to the forums. Now, it’s always kind of fun to read what clever phrases the abortion side can cook up. There’s the typical one about choice, reading: “EMPOWERED BY CHOICE” and “CHOICE, Not Your Body, Not Your Business.” But some others are really messed up. There’s one with a sign through a fetus that reads “NO THANKS.” There’s one which honestly makes no sense to me, reading UTERUS but with the US crossed out to read “UTERME.” I don’t really get that, but okay, then. Perhaps the strangest one of all, though, reads, “THINK AHEAD, THANKS ABORTION.” The icon between those two phrases features a woman scolding a boy who may presumably be her son.

I decided to check out the Facebook page and take a look at what some of these people were posting. I can say that what I found were some of the most ridiculous and far-fetched claims that I have read. There were postings thanking and affirming the group’s stance on abortion, but also postings about how men should have no say in abortion; statements lamenting that if  only GOP men could get pregnant, abortion would be widely supported; statements thanking abortion for not bringing unwanted children into the world; etc. I invite you to check it out for yourself, because otherwise some of these statements seem too ridiculous to be true. It’s one thing to have your opinion; it’s another to hate the other side for it. Also, it saddens me that such people really do not understand what abortion is; otherwise, they wouldn’t be quick to call it so empowering. I have a friend who is extremely pro-choice, and yet she herself recognizes that abortion is not exactly empowering.

I recognize and can handle that there are those who could not disagree with me more on abortion. Many of those people happen to post on the Facebook group for this organization which claims to support and empower women. What is more difficult to handle, though, is that this organization says nothing about abortion, actually. It doesn’t even seem to recognize that such a procedure involves terminating the life of another person. I know that it’s not the organization’s scope necessarily to educate about abortion, but I can’t help feeling the sense that such an organization is denying women the truth about such a procedure when claiming that abortion is empowering and offering stories from real women who are happy with such a decision. I don’t judge these women who have shared these stories; rather, I pray for them. They may not regret their abortion now, but in time they will, and I’m sure they will be looking for an organization to help them for their regret, which I pray that they may find.

If such an organization wanted to truly empower women, it would make sense to at least have pages about encouraging women to have higher self-respect and self-esteem, so that they wouldn’t need to turn to premarital sex and the resulting unplanned pregnancies which end with these abortions. And while such a site may have the intent to help women, the people running it are ultimately hurting women by portraying abortion as such a wonderful thing. When women think about abortion in such a manner, they are misled, even lied to. Women don’t need abortion to feel better about themselves; they need love, support, and encouragement.

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  • prolifepagans

    It seems like “uterme” is a take on the word “neuter”.

    • Beverly

      Actually, since the “us” is crossed out, I think “uterME” is emphasising the selfishness of abortion. It’s all about ME, and nothing to do with the children they carelessly murder.

  • peach

    You say you’re not about shaming women and then you drop this line; “it would make sense to at least have pages about encouraging women to
    have higher self-respect and self-esteem, so that they wouldn’t need to
    turn to premarital sex.” So you’re implying that all women who have premarital sex do so because they have low self-respect? A woman couldn’t possibly have high self-esteem and self-respect and also enjoy sex, could she? There you go shaming women who enjoy sex. The old keep your legs closed argument. 

    • nectarine

       That’s not shaming.  Women who have premarital sex are selling themselves short.  They deserve better.  Sex is a good. . .and women can only fully enjoy it when they are doing it with a committed, loving partner.  Women naturally desire security.  Perhaps you have not experienced that kind of sex and don’t know what you’re missing.

      • peach

        Well I disagree with that. I’m just wondering what you think about men who have premarital sex? Are they also selling themselves short?

        • FB1231

          yup

        • Matthew

           Very much so. As a man who did that, I have to live with the fact that I treated many women as simply objects for my own lust and that I was treated the same way. My wife saved herself for me, yet I can never say I did the same.

          I am a child of God. Yet the way I acted before I came back to the Catholic Church…well, selling myself short is one very exact way of stating it

        • guest

           I don’t know about nectarine, but I say yes. Those men are selling themselves short as well.

        • Person

           Actually, yeah. They are. They’re also putting themselves at risk for unplanned fatherhood & STD’s. I agree with nectarine; what’s so special about sex if you’ll do it with just anybody? If you ask me, nothing. And sex is a special thing. And yes, keeping your legs closed is a good idea…

    • pofalici

      A woman can have high self-esteem and enjoy making love. Having “sex” is not making love. Having “premarital sex” is seldom if ever about making love, it is usually about woman being exploited, and yes, it is usually because of low-self esteem. Mostly we women settle for a fake feeling of closeness that fades in the light of reality.

      • Shrek6

         ”Having “premarital sex” is seldom if ever about making love, it is usually about woman being exploited,”

        I’m sorry, but that is a typically anti-male feminist misnomer.  
        I totally agree with the first part of that statement, but the second part is nothing but a feminist lie that has been bandied around for decades.

        Premarital sex has nothing to do with women being exploited in this day and age.  There are a far greater number of women deliberately exploiting men for sex today, than there have ever been.  And in many cases today, men are becoming more and more afraid to get involved with women, because they know the consequences are going to be diabolical for 50% of them.

        Please get your head out of the clouds and look at the real world.
        Today, thanks to the evil of feminism, women are breaking moral codes that have been kept sacrosanct for millenia.  Men, in general I mean, have always known there are lines drawn in the sand that you never cross.  Only the very few men who are truly evil, will cross these lines and break these moral codes.

        Today, we see women being told they can have and do, what they want, when they want, and at any cost, because the consequences will not be born by them.  At least in the immediate term that is.  So we have women in droves crossing these lines, destroying many lives in the process and eventually many of these women may find themselves being harshly judged when they stand before The Lord.

        Let us please get away from gender arguments and focus on the fact that Satan is using sex to exploit everyone today!

        • Oedipa

          Shrek, your rant belongs in some bad fairy tale somewhere.

          • Shrek6

            It is always the case that when a man debunks the fatuous beliefs of feminists, he is immediately vilified and attacked.

            I note how you typically try to demean and dismiss my comment, by saying it is a rant.  You obviously take umbridge to it, because you believe the same feminist lies that men only do bad things to women and that women are always victims.

            It’s time you women stopped thinking that ‘ALL MEN’ are the same as the very few.  How would you like it if we men posted comments that painted all women to be the same as the bad women?

            As I said, we need to stop making false statements about gender and acknowledge that Satan uses both genders in his attempts to destroy family and society.

            Our Blessed Mother warned us at Fatima that Satan was going to destroy the family.  He is using feminism and now homosexuality to destroy the family.  And he has almost succeeded!

    • Rebecca Downs

      I am in no way shaming women who enjoy sex. I myself have had pre-marital relations. One was the most unloving and mistaken decision I have ever made. The other was loving and good and with the person I am likely going to marry. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake though, as it was outside the confines of marriage. Even as someone who has not waited until marriage, I am still saying that overall because of what I ultimately consider a mistake, I still nevertheless highly, highly encourage abstaining until marriage. I say this so that others do not make the mistake I made and could ultimately benefit from the best kind of sex life. So if you think I don’t enjoy sex, or am advocating that women should not enjoy sex, you are gravely mistaken. I myself have enjoyed sex. I also do not see how that point was made anywhere in my article. 

      I also think it is the same with men who have had premarital sex. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/nissa.amas.katoj Nissa Annakindt

    Yes, I imagine that the unborn girls who are aborted in sex selection abortions really feel empowered…. (That’s me being sarcastic). Seriously, we cannot judge the ethical status of an action by the claim that it makes the actor feel ‘empowered’. A murderer or rapist may feel empowered by his crime. Should that make murder and rape legal? I think feminist women have got to stop worrying about women feeling ‘empowered’ and wake up to the fact that women actually have power, regardless of their emotions about that power. 

  • Millwork1954

    Straight from the pit of Hell thinking.

  • pofalici

    It sounds like a lot of BS to me. I work with women in crisis pregnancy and with those who have had abortions. I have done so for over 25 years. I have NEVER found a woman who was happy with her decision to abort. And, I can tell you that “unhappy” doesn’t even begin to describe how they feel. I suspect strongly, that this site is not an honest presentation but, propaganda.

  • Amylou

    We need more surveys of women who have had abortions, to get some factual data, but I believe there is research to show over 80% greatly regret their abortions.  There is a site called for The Elliot Institute, that gives people, churches, and more helpful information.   

  • Leapingthroughwalls

    Way to conceal a christian opinion piece on abortion up until the last paragraph. 

  • Michelle

    I’m empowered by my abortion. It was the best choice I’ve ever made. I’m now happy, living a fulfilled life and I’m going to continue to exercise my right to choose to have another abortion if my birth control fails on me again and women can and should be happy about making the responsible decision of not having a child if their not ready.

    • grdawg

      I’m sorry that’s the way you feel. I hope that if, one day, you feel differently, you will seek out a program like Rachel’s Vineyard http://rachelsvineyard.org/ that helps men and women heal from their abortions. I’m sorry that you believe women have the right to take their child’s life because they would rather be happy and fulfilled. At the moment a woman is pregnant, she is a mother. She has a child. And nothing, not even abortion, changes that fact. It’s just a matter of whether you are the mother of a living or a dead child.

      • Michelle

        Nope. Never lived. Was never a child.

    • Leia Peison

      if you think it was the best choice, then it was. dont let anyone tell you differently

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