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Why does Jezebel think Hugh Jackman is a “dirt bag”?

Sunday’s blog post was super-serious and personal, so today I’m going a little lighthearted. I perused the pages of Jezebel for these juicy tidbits of crazy dumbness. Enjoy them while I go wash my eyeballs with soap.

Crazy Dumb Thing #1: Liam Neeson is a “dirt bag” for saying the world is too sexy.

Somebody at Jezebel accidentally opened up an issue of the Catholic Herald and found Liam Neeson talking about sex. Now, I am not crazy about the fact that Neeson portrayed sex researcher Alfred “Everyone Is Kind of Gay” Kinsey in a biopic several years ago, but I like Liam Neeson. He has a very particular set of skills – skills he has acquired over a very long career. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like you. (I’ve seen Taken twelve times.)

Anyway, here is what Liam said about sex that makes him a “dirt bag” to Jezebel:

There’s a problem that, if you become over-familiar with something, it moves from the sacred to almost the profane. The act is very, very special, you know. It’s full of mystery and wonder, and I’d hate us all to get to the stage where we just treat it lightly, because it deserves more than that … but times have changed since I was young, no doubt about it.

Reading Jezebel makes me feel like I’m in Oppositeland. Abortion is liberating, swearing means you’re smart, and a man who finds sex sacred is a dirt bag.

Liam Neeson, by the way, lost his wife in a skiing accident a few years ago and finished raising his sons alone. He is also a Catholic and has raised his children as Catholics. What an a-hole.

Crazy Dumb Thing #2: Jessica Simpson is gross for getting pregnant.

The headline says “Jessica Simpson Finally Confirms She Has A Baby In Her Again.” Yeah. She “has a baby in her.” That is their cute, snarky, disgusted way of saying Jessica Simpson is pregnant. Every sentence of the short blurb is dripping with “ewww.” They might as well have just written: “Jessica Simpson and being pregnant: two gross things that go great together.”

I remember when I was a pro-choice fauxminist in my early 20s, when I showed a great deal of contempt for pregnant people. I didn’t really feel it, but I pretended to, because that’s what all the smart girls did. We acted like we were more than just gross fat incubators doomed to lives of diaper-changing and stroller-pushing and SUVs and unfulfilled husbands.

I’m not claiming Jessica Simpson is a role model or a smart, great, cool person. Hey, I don’t even know her. I just feel like when somebody who really wants babies and takes good care of them gets pregnant, it’s worthy of a little better than barely-concealed disgust.

But hey, this is Oppositeland! What the rest of the world sees as a reason to rejoice – a new life has been created! – Jezebel sees as something at which to scoff.

Crazy Dumb Thing #3: Hugh Jackman is a “dirt bag” for…grieving over his wife’s miscarriages?

I actually cannot figure out what is going on in this blurb. I am not a citizen of Oppositeland. I don’t speak the language; I don’t know the terrain. I cannot figure out from reading this why Hugh Jackman is a “dirt bag.” Is it because his wife had miscarriages and he grieved over them? Is it because he is proud of his wife for making sacrifices raising their family? I just don’t know.

I’m not alone in my confusion: someone in the comments wrote “Can someone tell if Hugh Jackman has done anything wrong?”

But there he is, at the top of the page, his sad-looking face probably thinking about miscarriages, under the heading “Dirt Bag.”

The same writer who thought Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy was ewie is the one who thinks Hugh is a dirt bag for grieving over miscarriages and feeling grateful to his wife for putting her career aside to raise their children. This writer might be the mayor of Oppositeland.

I like Hugh Jackman even more after reading that. I love that he grieved for those miscarriages, because it means he recognized they were human beings. And I love that he recognizes what a brave, misunderstood choice a woman makes when she sees motherhood as a vocation instead of something to be done in her spare time. Granted, not all women have the luxury, but she did, and she made a fantastic choice for her family.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed this trip through the pages of Jezebel, a place that makes little sense to most of us. Today we’ve learned that Jessica Simpson is gross for being pregnant, Liam Neeson is an a-hole for finding sex sacred, and Hugh Jackman is a real jerk for loving his wife and kids.

Good luck out there. It’s a crazy world.

Author’s note: Based on early comments, I’d like to clarify that, yes, I am aware “Dirt Bag” is Jezebel’s so-clever name for their gossip page. I am also aware that what they put on that page, especially to lead under the big “Dirt Bag” heading, is no accident. If it is, they haven’t bothered to disavail their readers of that impression, as you can tell from the comments.

  • http://twitter.com/CalFreiburger Calvin Freiburger

    No doubt that Jezebel’s views of pregnancy and sex are deeply deranged, but I don’t think that’s what their “Dirt Bag” tag means. It seems to be their label for round-ups (grab “bags,” if you will) of the latest gossip, or “dirt,” on celebrities.

    • James

      Deeply deranged? That’s pretty strong. Are their views really deranged, or is it just that they’re different from your own views on pregnancy and sex? Doesn’t make them deranged at all – just different.

      • Hannah Mallery

        Showing disgust at the idea of a woman having a baby is pretty messed up. If they really were “pro-choice,” like they claim to be when a woman wants an abortion, they would also be happy for her when she exercises the “choice” to have her baby. But they aren’t, and that belies their true agenda.

        • Joanne13

          Wow Hannah… you’ve got a profound understanding of ‘pro-choice’ and it IS the opposite of ‘choice’. They are pro-ABORTION… period and IMO that’s being plain old pro-MURDER. And it happens to explain why they’d find it so disgusting that someone would ACTUALLY WANT to get pregnant and WANT a baby!

        • Jenny S

          I have made this same observation many times Hannah. Glad you pointed out the irony in being “pro-choice.”

      • http://twitter.com/CalFreiburger Calvin Freiburger

        No, deranged is definitely the right word.

  • Katie

    Dirt bag is what they call their weekly gossip roundup.

  • James

    Um… Dirt Bag is the name of the column, not a label for the person featured in the picture. I thought the article about Hugh Jackman was very sympathetic, and if you read the comments below, there were many people sympathising with him and saying that they thought miscarriage should be talked about more – and there were lots of people agreeing with Liam Neeson too. So what’s your point? That you can’t read?

  • http://twitter.com/ibeeflower Flor Rodriguez

    Dirt Bag, as others have mentioned, is the name of that specific column. It doesn’t refer to anyone. It’s like when you ask for the dirt on someone. The “dirty” stuff. It means you are gossiping. They actually love Hugh Jackman.

    Also, the Jessica Simpson thing is sarcasm. You should know their style of writing by know since your website is devoted to talking about their articles.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585273802 Kelsey Shannon Arnold

      So mourning miscarriages and claiming that sex is sacred is the “dirty stuff?” Pregnancy is something to be treated with rudeness and sarcasm? I don’t see how that helps their case any.

      • Timmehh

        I think that’s how they label any column in that section. And furthermore, I think they are being sarcastic due to the fact that it was reported a long time ago that Jessica Simpson was pregnant; so the sarcasm is coming from the fact that it is obvious she is.

        • http://twitter.com/Astraspider Astraspider

          Also that her pregnancy — and plenty of other celebrity pregnancies — are transparent marketing opportunities.

  • Kundah

    Nope, sorry, your reading comprehension is a little skee-wiff here. Aside from Dirt Bag being the name of the section as has been explained, there is a lil sadface at the end of the article and no snark.

  • http://twitter.com/GrannyMumantoog Granny Mumantoog

    I guess Jezebel is a website or a magazine site or something. I’ve never heard of it and after reading this it’s not a site I would ever visit. Even if some comments are correct saying Dirt Bag is just the name of a column, why would I ever want to read a column named that? And how could either Liam Neeson or Hugh Jackman be placed into a column with that kind of name? Sounds like pure trash to me trying to sensationalize comments by very nice men just to sell ad space.

  • Hannah Mallery

    Thank you, Mr. Jackman, for honoring the sacredness of life and marriage! A person of talent and integrity is difficult to find.

  • Nicholas Elkan

    Jezebel just doesn’t like actors who have played Jean Valjean. He rescued a woman from being a prostitute, and then raised her child after she died. Jezebel probably thinks Cosette should have been aborted.

  • http://twitter.com/Astraspider Astraspider

    You’d be one of the last people I’d figure to be blogospherically illiterate, but, yeah. Your whole premise is wrong.

  • Basset_Hound

    I guess Jezebel would call anybody a dirt bag who believed that an unborn life is sacred and that sex should be confined to a man and a woman who are committed (in marriage) to one another.

  • Olivia84

    They call it Dirtbag because gossiping is a dirty thing to do. They phrased Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy that way because a) it wasn’t much of a surprise that she was pregnant again b) obsessing over a celebrity with child is a silly thing to do, as is celebrity gossip in general. But celebrity gossip is fun, guilty pleasure – hence the attitude taken towards it by Jezebel. Hence the name, Dirtbag.

  • Olivia84

    Also, you must be willfully ignorant/biased if you really thought they were referring to a grieving father as a ‘dirtbag’. On the same page in the comments, a few women open up about their experiences with miscarriage. The rest of the commenters are very sympathetic, offering their condolences and similar experiences. I like Jezebel because it feels very much like a community – the commenters, who I don’t always agree with, are my favourite part. I feel as if you saw the words “miscarriage” and “dirtbag” and then wrote your article. That’s poor journalism.

  • mdphd

    Dirt bag is the name of the column. As in, a bag of dirty gossip. Are you really critiquing Jezebel? Is the Weekend Update on SNL your news source?

  • mdphd

    Kristen, thank you for clarifying that you’re aware of what “dirt bag” means. And thank you for pointing out that what Jezebel puts on the page is “no accident”. Excellent journalism.

  • Livvi

    I’m with Calvin, I didn’t see him talking about Jackman in a negative light, I think the “Dirt Bag” heading was more like “celebrity dirt”, or gossip, than calling him a dick for mourning the loss.
    Having had a miscarriage myself that sort of thing hits home with me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1463442715 Lori Alayne Weber Miller

    I am still reeling from the information that there is a periodical rejoicing in the name of Jezebel and that they apparently enjoy a readership.

  • Lilian

    The “Can someone tell if Hugh Jackman has done anything wrong?” seems to be asking the question as if saying “This guy is so amazing; can he do ANYTHING wrong???” and not “What is Jezebel trying to criticize here?” …at least that’s how the people who respond to the comment are taking it. It looks like Jackman has some fan following on Jezebel.

    It doesn’t look like this article was written with the intent to bash mourning of miscarriage or even making sacrifices for family. Yes, it’s under a column called Dirt Bag, but that’s the name of the column.

    That’s what I’m gathering. Regardless, I’m not a fan of celebrity gossip in general.

  • Mitch

    In regards to the Jessica Simpson article. At least they called it a baby and not a clump of cells.

  • Michael

    Sorry to burst everyone’s bubble, but Jezebel didn’t actually call Jackman a “dirtbag.” The name of the column is “Dirt Bag”…as in, the place where you get the “dirt” on celebrity drama.

    • Double_Up

      But is his life supposed to be dissected like that? How is that proper? Gossip about miscarriages?

      • Timmehh

        Of course that is going to happen. He is a celebrity. Pro life sites, celebrity sites, pro abortion sites, etc are all going to report on something like that. That doesn’t make it right or not, that is just the way it is. And that is also the reason why I would never want to be a celebrity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/GrannyGrump42 Christina Dunigan

    I think it’s more a “digging up the dirt.” Yeah, the one on Liam Neeson was snarky, but the Jessica Simpson one seemed to be more of a “Who gives a happy s**t about Jessica Simpson?” and the one on Hugh Jackman seemed respectful.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1330939033 Theresa Fortin

    Awesome article! Great job :)

  • Timmehh

    I’m sorry Kristen, but it really seems like you are grasping for straws in this article.

  • PmGee

    it is nice and refreshing to find a few good people in Hollyweird! thank you for bringing this to my attention.
    Paul M G

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=544576223 Elizabeth Luyben

    kind of sad to give “Jezebel” any air time at all. Perhaps if we can ignore them the dirt bags will just go away?

  • http://twitter.com/edpreston Ed Preston

    Very well written, I must say!

  • nernie

    are you kidding me, Jezebel is amazing. I check it every day. Lighten up and stop clutching at your pearls

  • Jodee

    Can you guys tell her a few more times that dirt bag is the name of the article, because I don’t think she got it the first ten times you said it. Twats.

  • visitor

    they evil one has gotten to those in Oppositeland & they’re in for a world of hurt…
    Hell is a terrible way to find out there IS a hell. Mother Angelica