Why essays backing convenience abortions won’t help the pro-abortion cause

Most essays on the subject of abortion mention how difficult a decision it is, even if the author is pro-abortion, and even if he or she is really only paying lip-service to the thought of abortion being a heart-wrenching choice to make. It won’t help the pro-abortion cause much to have a bunch of women running around talking about how easy their abortion was for them because hello, that baby was inconvenient.

Jessica Grose at Slate thinks otherwise, however, and she wants to know where all of the flippant pro-abortion essays are, because women should totally stop talking about how sad their abortions were:

The pro-choice side remains in a defensive crouch. We trot out the saddest stories: a woman who really wanted a baby but terminated because the baby was not going to be able to live outside the womb or a woman who can’t afford another child without tumbling into poverty. But a lot of women have abortions and don’t look back. A lot of women don’t want a baby, and they don’t care whether the fetus is viable or how much money is in their bank account. Where are their essays?

… First-person abortion stories in major publications are almost always about “appropriate” abortions. Shrouded in mournful tones, regretting the baby that couldn’t be, reflecting on that upsetting choice. But this is such a narrow way of looking at an experience that a third of women in America have. Most people who get abortions aren’t teenagers or terminating unviable babies. Six in 10 women who get abortions are already mothers, and 3 in 10 women have two or more children. The abortion rate is highest among women in their 20s. And there is a range of emotions that women feel when they’re getting what is essentially a medical procedure. Some feel relief, some feel nothing, others even feel joy.

It’s not surprising that we need to look beyond the media gatekeepers for authentic expressions of this range of emotion. When I was an editor at Jezebel, there was a Tumblr that made the rounds called “What to Expect When You’re Aborting.” The 23-year-old anonymous author put the site up because when she needed an abortion, she tried googling “abortion blog” and only came up with anti-choice nonsense and women who regretted their terminations. So she wanted to publish something servicey that explained what an abortion was like and how to go about getting one. But what I liked best about the site was how blithe and unapologetic she was about her choice. She described the aftermath of her abortion like this:

By monday my hormones were a little wonky but in all i just felt like this parasitic creature that burrowed its way into me and fed of my energy, apetite, [sic] and joy was removed. And I had been restored.

This kind of honesty might not change any anti-choice minds. But it pushes forward the idea that there isn’t one right way to feel about terminating a pregnancy. And it has the potential to nudge the battle back leftward after ceding so much ground.

There’s a reason why no one talks about how her abortion made her feel “restored,” or refers to her baby as a “parasite.” It would serve only to further expose how monstrous abortion really is. Those sad essays shrouded in mournful tones help the pro-aborts, although Grose can’t seem to understand that.

Here’s the thing: while many Americans may say they want abortion to be legalized, at least half of them find abortion to be morally wrong – and this from a poll done by the Huffington Post, not exactly a bastion of pro-life views. A large percentage wanted abortion to be generally illegal, with the exception of special circumstances. Only a small minority favored abortion to be totally legal, with no restrictions whatsoever. Another poll found that a majority of youth – 35 and under – now consider themselves pro-life.

As Grose herself says, the pro-aborts have lost a lot of ground. Is the best way to regain that ground really by having a bunch of selfish women writing shallow, frivolous essays about how their abortion was totally, like, no big deal?

The reality is that, as awful as it is, most women do get abortions because they simply don’t want a baby. The mournful essays about women who really didn’t want an abortion but simply had to have one because their baby had Down syndrome or something similarly “terrible” which just forced them to do it? Those are the extreme minority. Yet those are the sympathetic stories, which is why the abortion lobby so gleefully trots them out. It makes people think that abortion is an urgent need. No one wants to think that most women have abortions merely out of convenience – but this is what Grose thinks will endear people to the pro-abortion movement? Please. Someone needs a wake-up call.

  • Dissgruntled

    Well said. Let them trot out their callous stories and show their true colours. Let the world be shocked by how blinded by abortion propaganda they have become. The tide is turning because abortion is legal and society can see and feel its repercussions. That is why the abortion movement is losing ground.

  • Kimberly Wedel

    Let them. I hope they do it more often. The more the real face of abortion is uncovered the more people will see how reprehensible abortion is. The people that are on the fence assume that only women in tragic situations painfully choose abortion, when the majority are selfish women that acted irresponsibly and rid themselves of the inconvenient results of those actions.

  • Basset_Hound

    That’s the goal they’ve been working towards since Roe. The more desensitized we are towards the brutality, the more common abortion will be.

  • Alicia

    I’m sorry but I’m just trying to understand. I’m pro-choice and I’ve been reading these articles for the past hour and I still fail to see the stance on pro-life and why it’s the “right” choice. I just don’t see the point in having a baby if the mother:

    1.Can’t take care of it such as give it food, shelter, clothing, love, and care.

    2. Why giving away your child is some how better than having it?

    3. If the baby/mother could potentially be harmed during birth.

    4. If she really DOESN’T care and isn’t getting an abortion for medical reasons why she should have is anyways if this shows she clearly would not be a suitable mother.

    5. If the mother is a teen why on earth should she have this baby if she’s not mature enough to be a good mother because we know if she tried to adopt as a teen she would not be allowed to have a baby.

    The earth is already overpopulated we really don’t need more people than we have to have and lastly I feel every baby that comes into this world should be WANTED not forced because people can’t let go of their religon.

    I just want to say I respect this opinion, but I don’t think it should be forced on other people. That infringes on their rights as a woman. If a mother does not want her baby because of whatever reasons she should not be forced to have that baby, feel guilty about it because you think it’s wrong, or have to drive long distance’s/go to dangerous clinics to get the procedure done. Thanks for hearing me out. I would love to get some responses to get more of a understanding on this issue.

    • Griffonn

      How is killing your child better than giving it to someone who will love them?

      I know so many adopted people. How can you say they, or the world, would be better off if their mothers just killed them?

      Killing is bad for two reasons. First, it hurts. It’s painful. I don’t know about you, but whenever I read a story about kids who torture animals, I feel pain myself just thinking about it. What makes you think a baby feels less pain, or deserves less protection, than a kitten?

      Second, it robs the person of what is rightfully theirs: their right to have a life. You don’t know why we’re here, or whether we get another go-round, or what happens to us afterward. Maybe we just end – maybe you’re taking the only chance this person will ever have to have a life. Who gets to say that another person doesn’t deserve the chance to have a life?

      The whole idea of abortion is built on make-believe: it isn’t really a child, it isn’t really killing, it doesn’t really matter, it “undoes” the harm. But ample evidence proves this doesn’t even work: people grieve. People go to grief retreats or seek counseling – or even join political movements – because they are full of grief, because they killed their own child. Long after the pro-choice demonstrators have forgotten all about them, the cognitive dissonance stops working as a painkiller and you have to recognize that the truth does matter. Reality matters. Reality: we have stopped embracing ideals like “all men are created equal” or “we are all endowed with the right to life” and we have replaced it with an asterisk: we reserve the right to decide some people don’t qualify.

    • Sean Goerling

      Alicia, I greatly respect and admire your decision to come here and try to understand us and our beliefs. To address your points:
      1) Adoption? There are literally MILLIONS of couples all across the US waiting to adopt a child who can and want to “take care of it such as give it food, shelter, clothing, love, and care.”

      2) I’m confused by this. Do you mean “Why giving away your child is some how better than having [an abortion]?’ To this, I’d say that the biggest reason is the life of an innocent human being. There’s also the little fact that scientific studies have shown that post-abortive women’s rate of suicide is seven times higher than mothers after giving birth. And that abortions increase the risk of cancers. Among other things.

      3) True the baby and/or mother could potentially be harmed during birth. In an abortion, the baby is DEFINITELY harmed and the woman could still potentially be harmed during the abortion (in addition to the few facts I previously mentioned). I’m sorry, but that sounds like Lose/Lose situation to me.

      4) Again, adoption.

      5) To protect the life of an innocent human being. You are presenting a false choice: that any pregnant teen MUST either kill her unborn child through abortion to rid herself of the burden or keep the child and care for it herself. Again, what about adoption.

      -) And actually the Earth is NOT “already overpopulated”. All 6.974 billion people in Earth’s current population could fit in the US state of Texas’s with room to spare.

      It’s easy: Texas’s land area is 268,820 sq miles (696,241 km²).
      As I said, Earths estimated population in 2013 is 6,974,000,000 people.
      Now 1 km² equals 1,000,000 m².
      So Texas’s land area is 696,241 x 1,000,000 = 696,241,000,000 m².
      That’s nearly 7 hundred trillion square meters.
      Now 696,241,000,000 m² / 6,974,000,000 people = 99.83 m²/person.
      That’s nearly a hundred square meters for every single human being on the planet. Now, according to Multifamily Executive*, as of 2013, the average US apartment size today is 982 square feet. That’s equal to 91.2308 m². So every single human being on the Earth could have an average-US-apartment-sized space to themselves with an extra 8.5992 m² to spare.
      *[source: http://www.multifamilyexecutive.com/apartment-trends/units-are-getting-smaller-but-not-everywhere.aspx%5D

      But wait! That’s simply using Texas’s gross land area. That doesn’t account for things such as apartment buildings. If we we could build multi-floor apartment buildings for housing multiple stories high then the amount of room each person could get would shoot up, Also, this is a simplistic equation that fails to account for the amount of space taken by infrastructure (public & private), businesses, farming, etc. But this is no less simplistic than many of the arguments used to argue over-population already exists.

      Now, I have much, much more I’d love to say, such as how most women receiving an abortion feel that they were pressured into the decision. Abortion is presented as a quick fix to a pregnant women’s problems. Ideally, shouldn’t we all be working towards a world where these problems didn’t happen or don’t hinder women at all rather than pushing a dangerous, lethal quick fix?

      • Arimathean

        The overpopulation argument is based on an obsolete ideology, yet it refuses to die. The native-born US population is barely holding steady – all population growth currently comes from immigration. The population of many Western countries is now declining – most notably Germany. The population of Russia, the world leader in abortion, is now in a death spiral. If Russians do not start having more babies soon, Russia will be irrelevant in 50 years.

  • Sam

    Women who have abortions with no regret, emotion or conscience, can only be classified as sociopathic.