Issues

Woman chooses life for her baby conceived in rape, but tragedy strikes again

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Michelle (not her real name) had lived a life full of pain. Her father had shot and killed himself right before her eyes. And her mother, disagreeing with Michelle’s lifestyle, didn’t speak to her anymore.  Michelle, a lesbian, had a partner whom she cared about. Then one day, a male friend whom she trusted invited Michelle over to his house. And as she told Juda Myers of Choices4Life, it almost cost her her life.

Michelle’s friend raped her with the help of another man. Together, they beat her until she was unconscious. Thankfully, a couple showed up and the woman, seeing Michelle beaten so badly, screamed for someone to call 911. The men who raped and attacked her were prosecuted. But Michelle found out that she was pregnant.

Her partner wanted her to abort the baby, after all, that’s what women who are pregnant from rape usually do, right? But Michelle refused. She knew that her baby was innocent, and that it was her baby, not the rapist’s. Her partner dumped her and kicked her out.

With nowhere else to turn, Michelle contacted her mother, who took her in despite their strained relationship.

Then, more pain came along for Michelle. According to the Myers, the pregnancy had complications, and doctors wrongly decided that the baby would be better off being born early. So at 22 weeks, Michelle’s baby girl was born. And then 6 days later, she died. She was simply too young.

The pain was unbearable, but life had even more heartache in store for Michelle. A month after the loss of her baby, her mother died of a heart attack.

Michelle was now completely alone and desperately missing her baby – her rape conceived baby. So, according to Myers, she hatched a plan.

She asked a male friend to help her, and with some alcohol to help her get through sex with a man after all of the pain men had caused her in her life, Michelle became pregnant again.

As Myers writes on her blog:

So a lesbian woman who hates sex with men deliberately has sex with a man to get pregnant after losing a baby conceived after rape. Now if a lesbian woman can love her child after all this and not relate the baby to the rapist, society needs to really stop saying it’s better for a woman to abort her own baby conceived in rape.

Today, Michelle’s second child is seven months old, and while she still misses her first baby, she finally feels some joy after years of heartache. She also feels that the world doesn’t acknowledge her pain and loss since her baby was conceived in rape, and that hurts too.

How can a woman love the child conceived with a man who raped her? It’s simple: the baby is not the father, and women are perfectly capable of loving a child without caring for the father. It happens every day. Aborting the baby won’t erase the rape or the pain. But the love for and of a child, that can heal most anything.

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