Hollywood is, for me, a treasure trove of outrage. So is the Center for Reproductive Rights. I consider CRR’s president Nancy Northup sort of an arch-nemesis, because I have looked upon her face and heard her insane ideas firsthand. Her ideas basically boil down to free abortion on demand for everyone, everywhere, for any reason. She’s pretty dark, you guys. If I were an unborn baby, I would think of her kind of the way Luke Skywalker thinks of Emperor Palpatine.

CRR’s new campaign, “Draw the Line,” is being supported vocally by many who are experts on our health care system, the United States economy, and constitutionally guaranteed religious liberty.

Haha, I was just kidding! It’s being supported by celebrities.

Oh, celebrities! What would we do without you? I’m so glad we have Kevin Bacon and Lisa Kudrow to explain 2,000 pages of controversial legislation to us. How could we possibly form an opinion about total government takeover of health care without Amy Poehler’s input? Please, Meryl Streep and Tea Leoni, share your wisdom with us! Sarah Silverman, use your in-depth understanding of our founding documents to shed light on this complex subject!

You see, CRR wants “unrestricted access” to a wide range of “reproductive health services.” As such, CRR’s people are big supporters of the Affordable Care Act, aka ObamaCare, and super-bummed about how often it’s been attacked in the courts. They see these legal challenges as threats to the rights of women everywhere.

From Christian Post:

“Every day, the opponents of our fundamental reproductive rights are passing laws designed to take those rights away,” Streep said in a promotional video for  the campaign. “They’re shutting down doctors and clinics across the nation.  They’re making it nearly impossible for millions of women to get the essential  healthcare they need.”

Please do not forget: when pro-aborts talk about “essential health care,” they mean exactly the opposite of essential health care. They mean abortions and artificial birth control.

But hold on, because this is my absolute favorite part. I discovered this via the “progressive” website Common Dreams, and they think this is awesome: the crux of CRR’s “Draw the Line” campaign is asking Americans – get ready for this – to sign a Bill of Reproductive Rights.

You heard that right. They are ignoring the actual Bill of Rights – you know, the real one! – and creating their own imaginary one to which they shall be ever loyal.

Let’s play a game! It’s called Which Bill of Rights Is It In? Here’s how it works: I’ll give you an excerpt, and you tell me if it’s from the real United States Bill of Rights, or the Bill of Reproductive Rights! Ready? Here we go:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof …

Okay, which one is it? If you guessed the real Bill of Rights, you’re right! See that part about “prohibiting the free exercise thereof”? The Affordable Care Act does exactly that: it forces religious employers to cover contraception and sterilization even if doing so is against their religious beliefs.

Alright, here’s another excerpt! Which Bill of Rights Is It In?

We the people of the United States hereby assert the following as fundamental human rights that no government may deny, and that our governments at every level must guarantee and safeguard for all … The right to a full range of safe, affordable, and readily accessible reproductive health care—including pregnancy care, preventive services, contraception, abortion, and fertility treatment …

Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I imagine a land where I can invent my own rights, that no government may deny. I would have the right to eat pizza all day without gaining any weight. I would also be able to fly and read minds.

In the Imaginationland created by CRR and lovingly supported by not-super-famous celebs who could sure use the publicity, the real Bill of Rights means nothing, but the Bill of Imaginary Rights is one “that no government may deny, and that our governments at every level must guarantee and safeguard for all.” To hell with religious rights! Who cares about those? Those are for dumb creepy people who live in the South. No, what we really need is abortions. Abortions, birth control pills, and sterilizations.

Note how they throw in pregnancy care. They added that to sound more baby-friendly and less death-obsessed, but if they gave one crap about prenatal care, Planned Parenthood might provide it. Oh wait, I’m sorry, 7.8% of them do! As opposed to the 40% that provide abortions. So it’s obviously a super-important service to them.

If pregnancy care were an essential ”human right” to CRR and their ilk, wouldn’t you expect someone to be screaming that Planned Parenthood needs to provide more of it?

Because I want to make sure I am giving you good information, I called a Planned Parenthood clinic in Garland, Texas and told them I was pregnant and wanted to keep the baby, and asked if they provided prenatal care. I was told that no PP clinics in Texas provide this.

So I decided to try the land of Lala, the city from which all these celebrities are supporting the “Draw the Line” campaign – Los Angeles. I was told that no clinics in the county provide prenatal care, but I could call clinics in outlying areas directly.

And in case you were wondering – I was very polite.

Those are two major locations – all of Texas and all of the sprawling, heavily populated Los Angeles area. What do you think would be the outcry if no Planned Parenthoods in those areas provided abortions?

I’m a fan of intellectual honesty. In the interest of same, I think “Draw the Line” should be renamed “Campaign for Empty Wombs.” That’s what it’s really about. It’s not about caring for women and children, but about making sure women can abort said children for any reason, to be paid for by “the government,” which is to say: me and you. It’s a campaign for the tyranny of a woman over her unborn child, and a commitment to being so condescending to women that they don’t dare tell them: Hey, oppressing your children will not make you less oppressed.

In case you’re keeping track of whom to boycott, here is a partial list of “Draw the Line” supporters. Fair warning: you will have to Google most of these people. Kevin Bacon, Sandra Bernhard, Billy Crudup, Olympia Dukakis, Jenna Fischer, Caroline Kennedy, Lisa Kudrow, Tea Leoni, Audra McDonald, Oliver Platt, Martha Plimpton, Amy Poehler, Kyra Sedgwick, Sarah Silverman, Meryl Streep, Louis Zorich.

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