Your daily outrage: Jezebel

Jezebel appears to be an online magazine named after a Biblical tart. Appropriately, it is brimming with amoral nonsense. In browsing through some of its articles, I came across a couple that were so jaw-droppingly insane and morally outrageous I thought I would share them with you.

I recently wrote about two abortion doctors charged with murder in Maryland after a botched abortion led police to find 35 frozen fetuses in a “secret clinic” in Elkton. Many of the fetuses were of a viable gestation age — one even appeared to be about 36 weeks — and abortion past viability, if it occurs during an illegal act, is a crime in Maryland. The tale was a horrifying one, replete with a young lady screaming in pain for two hours — according to her mother who was waiting outside — as an abortionist perforated her uterus, pushed part of her mangled 22-week baby into her abdominal cavity, and pulled part of her bowel out through her vagina. The eighteen-year-old woman had to be transported by helicopter to Johns Hopkins, where she had major surgery to repair the damage.

The lesson a sane person would take away from this is that those “doctors” are butchers and need to go to prison. One of them was not even licensed to practice in Maryland and had a long history of suspended licenses, tax evasion, hiring unlicensed employees, and mangling women and their second and third-trimester fetuses.

The lesson the staggering intellects at Jezebel got from this terrible story?  “The case highlights the need for safe, legal, accessible abortion.”

Well, abortion has been legal for some time, and unfortunately the mythical “back alley” is alive and well in clinics all over the country. Live Action and other organizations never run out of abortionists engaging in illegal and unsafe activity on which to report.

Anna North, the Jezebel writer who opined on the embattled abortionists, admitted the case was “grisly and disturbing,” but instead of condemning the doctors or their actions, she whined that when women seek late-term abortions, it is — you guessed it — not their fault! They are young, they are usually embroiled in multiple “life crises,” they couldn’t afford it earlier in the pregnancy, they couldn’t find a provider, or — and this is my favorite — they thought abortion was illegal.


This juicy little tidbit links to an article, also by North, published on March 11 of this year, just one day after the National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers. Yes, apparently, this is a thing. I am picturing the Hallmark card. On the front, “I know you care…” And on the inside, “Because you dismembered my fetus and sucked it out of me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

Anyway, Jezebel interviewed retired abortion provider Susan Poppema who had the following remarkably dumb things to say:

If women can’t choose when and if to become mothers, very little else amounts to a hill of beans.

It never ceases to amaze me that people are still pretending they don’t know how pregnancy happens. “Holy crap, I’m pregnant! Could it be something I ate?” It reminds me of something I read about very primitive human civilization. I don’t know if this is true, but I read prehistoric humans failed to perceive the correlation between sex and pregnancy, so that when women got pregnant, it was thought to be some magical power they had to grow new humans.

We are kind of past that point now, aren’t we? You’d think so. But every single day I hear the same nonsense about women being “forced to give birth.” Nope, sorry. The simple truth is that over 99% of unborn babies were conceived by a consensual sexual act. That woman had the choice to have sex or not have sex.

My favorite myth is that only irresponsible women have abortions, [when] of course you’re being the most responsible you absolutely can be when you say, ‘I understand what it means to be a parent, and I understand the kind of parent that I want to be, and I cannot be a mother right now.’

Responsibility starts with not engaging in an act that routinely creates babies if you don’t, strictly speaking, desire a baby. Am I allowed to say that?

Apparently Dr. Poppema and a lot of other women still believe the stork brings babies.

I can’t wait to hear Dr. Poppema’s prescription for what to do about butchers like Kermit Gosnell and Steven Brigham. Here we go:

[A]bortion is so regulated that we’ve had patients who came and said, “I know this is illegal but I still need to have this done.” […] So if you think it’s illegal anyway, then you might as well go to a cheap one, so then we’re back to the cost issue. […] And then because women think it’s a bad thing, and it’s shameful, etc., they go to a clinic that looks awful, that doesn’t seem professional at all, and they’re not scared away. […] Women don’t expect to be treated with compassion, intelligence, professionalism, and good care when they’re seeking abortion care. That’s not okay.

Let’s take this one piece at a time. First: abortion is over-regulated. This is her response to a question about women being butchered by unlicensed abortionists with decades of history of harming women.

Then… who is it again who thinks abortion is illegal? I have honestly never heard this one before. If there are people out there who think abortion is illegal, Planned Parenthood seriously needs to step up their advertising game.

And wouldn’t that be refreshing, in a way? Some honesty from the world’s number one abortion provider? Their current advertising consists mainly of clean, smiling, multiracial groups of people who look healthy and un-pregnant. If they actually practiced some truth in advertising, I might be able to muster up some grudging respect for them. Why not show a nineteen-year-old girl with a Nokia flip phone and a boyfriend she suddenly can’t get a hold of, pulling up to a Planned Parenthood clinic with her cousin in a 1990 Chevy Caprice with one duct-taped window and coming out a few hours later with tear streaks on her face, still clutching her crappy cell phone, on which he still hasn’t called.

So anyway, Dr. Poppema says either her imaginary patient thinks abortion is illegal — so how she manages to look up or otherwise find an abortion clinic I don’t know — or she is so ashamed at having an abortion she chooses the crappiest clinic she can find. Either that or she simply can’t afford anything but a disgusting abattoir of a clinic.

Then she goes on to say if Planned Parenthood is defunded, “What’s going to happen is a lot of women will no longer be able to get reproductive healthcare.”

Wait, but I thought only the crappy butcher clinics were cheap enough for poor, ashamed women?

According to the good doctor, what else will happen if Planned Parenthood gets defunded?

[T]he number of abortions will have to go up, because they’re not going to suddenly be able to be moms even though they can’t get healthcare — they’re just going to get pregnant more often. And then we’re going to see more and more bad clinics come up, and people getting really bad care.

I’m just so confused by this egg salad of words. It makes no sense. So… Planned Parenthood gets defunded and then people get more abortions? But then if they “can’t get healthcare,” where do they get abortions? But they’re “not going to suddenly be able to be moms,” but then they “get pregnant more often?” The end result, in any case, is “bad clinics.”

As opposed to the good clinics, Planned Parenthood, where any pimp can bring his 14-year-old prostitute for the highest quality birth control and abortions.

Okay, here comes my favorite part. Asked what she would like “anti-choicers” to know, she said this:

I would like them to know that this is medical work that is intellectually demanding and emotionally incredibly rewarding because it’s one of the few times in medicine where people come to you with a known problem and ninety-nine times out of a hundred when they leave your office you’ve solved that problem. […]

Wow. Just… Really, just wow. She basically just said, “Being an abortion doctor is super easy because it’s not like you actually deal with the pesky variability of diseases or the tiresome business of healing anyone. You just suck babies out of people and get paid. I have a hot tub. Good times.”

I’ve always felt privileged that I was able to be with women as they took a huge step on the right path in their lives, for them at that time.

I know a lot of women probably look back on their college graduation, the day they got married, the moment they bought their first car on their own, and the day they had an abortion as the turning points toward positive growth in their lives.

Give me a break. Nobody really believes anymore that a woman has an abortion at 12:00 and then meets the girls for a late lunch and shoe shopping at 2:00.

Wait a second, I guess somebody does believe it: whoever reads this insulting drivel on Jezebel, and buys the nonsense this woman is spewing about the industry that probably bought her a nice house and has caused more death and suffering than any in the history of human events.

Jezebel is a treasure trove of ridiculous, dishonest claptrap and I can’t wait to keep you all posted on what I find in the future.


Kristen Walker makes people mad on the Internet and sometimes tweets.

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